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Old 12-15-2018, 04:32 PM #1
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Default KnitChick's Follow Through Thread

Hi. So I have struggled with following through with social things (in the past, currently, and I'm only assuming in the future as well, lol).

This issue, and how bad or good it gets is something that ebbs and flows. There have been times where it wasn't really an issue (For like a few weeks in October, I was following through with everything! It was awesome!), and there are times, like currently, when it's just been difficult to get myself to do the stuff I know will 1.) make me feel connected, 2.) bring me chances to meet people, make friends, etc, 3.) make my life more interesting and engaging, 4.) give me something I need (anti-loneliness antidote), and 5.) give me a feeling of accomplishment, pride, etc.

My goal is to follow through with the social things I choose to do, such as: knitting group, meet up groups, meditation group, as well as other things I choose along the way.

This is not going to go smoothly, lol. I can tell you right now you're not going to see ribbons and banners in each post of like "woohoo I went to another thing! go me!" You will sometimes see that though too, not gonna lie.

For a while, I've been "trying to figure it out." Like "Why." Why do I do this? I'm not sure that's really helpful though. Not as much as "How." How can I get myself to do these things despite feeling initial resistance? How can I get myself to not act on that resistance? How can I follow through, instead?

Everyone is different, and some people do not experience this at all and don't even know what I'm talking about. This is my developmental and cellular make up though. And it is my personal challenge.

Join me on my journey, won't you? I'm open to support, ideas, thoughts, hugs, likes, etc. The idea of people just reading and not saying anything is so awkward, but I also assuming that's what will happen most actually, lol.

See you in my next post.
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Old 12-15-2018, 04:38 PM #2
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Default Re: KnitChick's Follow Through Thread

I understand what you're talking about. I have so much apprehension when it comes to doing new things or anything social

It usually takes me like months and months to be able to do something, and when I finally force myself to do it I realize it's actually a good experience most of the time
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Old 12-15-2018, 04:41 PM #3
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Default Re: KnitChick's Follow Through Thread

I get what you mean KnitChick. Often I don't want to leave the house, but usually when I do I feel better. It's getting over that initial inertia that's tough. What I have found helps is making plans where it's important that I be there.

For example, I volunteer teaching English as a Second Language. It's a commitment. If I don't go, there would be no class. I also teach Sunday school at church. Same issue there. I sing in the choir at church sometimes (I mainly joined to force myself to go to church). But actually that doesn't always work, because I'm not an essential part of the choir. They can easily sing without me, so often I don't go.

It's also hard for me because public transportation is not good in my city. I have a car, but when I am feeling too depressed and anxious, I have trouble focusing enough to drive. Driving actually becomes dangerous at that point. But now that Uber is common here, if I don't feel safe to drive, I take Uber instead and still get out.

Just sharing what works for me.
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Old 12-15-2018, 06:09 PM #4
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Default Re: KnitChick's Follow Through Thread

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Originally Posted by downandlonely View Post
I get what you mean KnitChick. Often I don't want to leave the house, but usually when I do I feel better. It's getting over that initial inertia that's tough. What I have found helps is making plans where it's important that I be there.

For example, I volunteer teaching English as a Second Language. It's a commitment. If I don't go, there would be no class. I also teach Sunday school at church. Same issue there. I sing in the choir at church sometimes (I mainly joined to force myself to go to church). But actually that doesn't always work, because I'm not an essential part of the choir. They can easily sing without me, so often I don't go.

It's also hard for me because public transportation is not good in my city. I have a car, but when I am feeling too depressed and anxious, I have trouble focusing enough to drive. Driving actually becomes dangerous at that point. But now that Uber is common here, if I don't feel safe to drive, I take Uber instead and still get out.

Just sharing what works for me.
I can relate to what you are saying, too. The word inertia feels right for me. It is very hard to get myself moving once I'm in my apt.

I've been experimenting on and off with getting myself to do stuff. And sometimes its harder, sometimes its easier. I just exercised for 20 min to a workout video. It helped with my mood. It was so hard to get myself to do it. But I bribed myself and also reminded myself that good feelings come after doing something, not before. And motivation comes after you start, not before. Often, anyways.

I'm just thinking about Newton's law of motion. What Millennials Can Learn About Motivation From Newton's Law Of Motion

An object that is still, stays still, and an object that is in motion, stays in motion, applies to us too. The more I do stuff and am in motion, the more I will continue to do stuff and stay in motion. For me that's usually the case, unless, I'm having an HSP moment, and need to bunker down hibernate in my room for a little while due to stress of what I encounter and the way I process it.

I agree with you and can relate, downandlonely, to having to be somewhere, where people are counting on you. Some kind of accountability. That's how I got myself to my language class that I just completed. I had support from someone. Which may be a little different. But I'd call her and tell her if I was struggling to go. Or I'd tell her after, that I went.
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Old 12-15-2018, 06:15 PM #5
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Default Re: KnitChick's Follow Through Thread

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I understand what you're talking about. I have so much apprehension when it comes to doing new things or anything social

It usually takes me like months and months to be able to do something, and when I finally force myself to do it I realize it's actually a good experience most of the time
Hugs, Blue_Bird. Years ago, I had really bad social anxiety. It's not bad anymore. But I often experience anxiety more in my head (my thoughts) than in my body now. However, this could be a residual form. I don't know. I have avoided social things ever since college, which was like 15 years ago. Thats a long time. It may be really ingrained in me, even though once I'm there, I'm fine. I also don't really find myself thinking socially anxious thoughts before I go to these things, so I don't know what it really is now. I just know it definitely started as social anxiety and also as trauma reaction. It seems more depressive now. I suppose, honestly, it is best not to try to label and analyze it though, and just work with what I have and know.
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Old 12-16-2018, 05:00 PM #6
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Default Re: KnitChick's Follow Through Thread

Today was not bad. I went to meditation group, which I love. I go every Sunday. Church is after, and a lot of the group members go to that church. I have tried it out so many times, but it's not really me. Maybe I can try a different church sometime.
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Old 12-17-2018, 03:26 PM #7
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Default Re: KnitChick's Follow Through Thread

Just wanted to let you know this is also something I struggle with and am currently trying to overcome. Part of my problem at this point is that I'm in a new area (we moved a little over a year ago), so I'm struggling to find things to do and people to do them with... Add to that the homesickness for where we used to live, and it's an uphill battle for me.

I don't have any advice, but I'll be rooting for all of us on this thread!
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Old 12-17-2018, 06:56 PM #8
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Default Re: KnitChick's Follow Through Thread

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Originally Posted by RomanSunburn View Post
Just wanted to let you know this is also something I struggle with and am currently trying to overcome. Part of my problem at this point is that I'm in a new area (we moved a little over a year ago), so I'm struggling to find things to do and people to do them with... Add to that the homesickness for where we used to live, and it's an uphill battle for me.

I don't have any advice, but I'll be rooting for all of us on this thread!
Hi RomanSunburn, I have never really moved to another area, but while this is not something I've experienced, you still have my sympathy. And I definitely know what its like to feel lonely. I hope that you find some places to call home and where you feel you belong in your new area. I have hope that you will.
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Old 12-17-2018, 07:02 PM #9
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Default Re: KnitChick's Follow Through Thread

Today I did not really have to do anything that was hard, socially. I met with my therapist, and residential worker (separate appt.), and went grocery shopping with my mom. It did keep me occupied.

Tomorrow I have to take a test, which is something I have not done in a long time! I decided not to set up any other social things tomorrow, because I think the test is stressful enough.

Wednesday, I don't have much going on, and I think it's a good day to go to an exercise class at the gym. I also need to practice typing (which is located out in my community), and that might be a good day for that too.

See you tomorrow.
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Old 12-17-2018, 07:17 PM #10
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Default Re: KnitChick's Follow Through Thread

One day at a time...

A knitting group sounds like fun. I don’t know how to knit though.
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