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Old 12-28-2018, 10:05 PM   #1
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Default The missing ring

I didn't realize this earlier, at least not its importance. I have rusty social skills. I cannot connect with people normally. People avoid me. They feel uncomfortable around me. I am anxious and have low self-esteem, and don't leave good impressions when I talk. It's doesn't matter how smart I am, or how many degrees I have. All of this don't matter. Social skills are very important in life. We are called social animals, and we thrive on socializing. Even professionally, without social skills, you cannot get what you want. That's why I am at the bottom socially and professionally, and I feel depressed about it. I wish I knew this and spend more time trying to socialize. Now it's too late to make mistakes and learn from them.
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Old 12-29-2018, 05:34 PM   #2
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Default Re: The missing ring

It is actually never too late. If you can find any group therapy that works on things like that it could help.

I grew up with parents who had no social skills & it was hard for me to learn just in school environment. Then I married someone who I thought had social skills but didn't. It was hard to learn good social skills at my career as we were all highly technical people & no one socialized much.

By the time I got out if that environment I was 54 & I started learning how to functionally (vs dysfunctionally) socialize at that point in my life....11 years ago. There are still some awkward moments when things don't come out right but it is never too late to learn

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Old 12-29-2018, 06:23 PM   #3
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Yes, I think you're correct in this. I know, in my own case, I was never one for "professional smoozing". And, looking back, I can see where it hurt my "career", such as it was. I guess in my case I could have done it. I just never wanted to & I suffered the consequences. (Too late to do anything about any of it now... thank goodness.)
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Old 12-29-2018, 06:27 PM   #4
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I agree that it's not too late.

Social skills are something I struggle with too. I have a high IQ, but a low EQ (emotional quotient). That means I am "book smart" but not smart about people. I also think I might have Aspberger's syndrome. Other people seem to instinctively know how to behave in social situations, and I don't. I often unintentionally hurt people's feelings and don't find out until they tell me about it later. This does make socializing a challenge, but I think I am getting better (or at least I hope so).
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Old 12-29-2018, 06:43 PM   #5
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Default Re: The missing ring

I too don't know how to conduct myself socially, but I don't know why. I feel anxious most of the times around people, but even when I am not, I just fail to connect. In my case, I feel I keep failing. I think part of the reason is my age, because when I feel I am failing, I withdraw because I think others are judging me how someone in my age is so ... immature. So, I really don't learn how to be ... resilient. That's why I said it's too late for me. The humiliation is proportional to my age when I fail.
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