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Old 09-14-2019, 10:00 AM   #1
Audsys
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Default Dealing with a medical issue and self harm

Hi everyone!
I'm new here and happy to find a place to share and get support.
A little bit about myself- I'm 21, I love travelling and knowing new people, have some very good friends, I love music and have been playing piano pretty much forever. I've recently finished my duty service in the Israeli Military and about to start music studies this fall.
It's a kinda long post I tend to write a lot

That is a brief view of my situation:
About a year and a half ago (March 2018) I went to a party that was very loud. I started suffering from Tinnitus (ringings in the ears) and also ears pressure and noise sensitivity (hyperacusis). The situation is called "acoustic trauma" and there is a very limited types of therapies (rather than a high dose of steroids ASAP, which I wasn't given by my doctors).

Things were going better a few weeks later. The ringings went quieter and I felt better. I went to Europe for two weeks and have had an amazing time.
One more thing that I found out is that the ringing gets quieter when I feel calmer. The ringing affects my mood and vice versa.

At the summer of the past year my ears were going crazy. While having substantial difficulties at the army, I started to feel depressed. I had stopped playing piano and listening to music (for almost 6 months) and have felt that each and every day is a new struggle. Music is the only thing in my life that I had always loved and you can only imagine how it is to lose it. I felt that I will never gonna play the piano again nor listening to my top bands.

I remember that day when I had this suicidal thought in my mind that scared me to death. I used to be such a happy person so I couldn't watch myself deteriorating anymore. The following day I started to see a therapist that has been helping my so much coping with the difficulties in my life.

At the end of that year (2018) I started feeling better. I had gradually started listening to music again and even dated a girl. On our first date that was a lot of fun, we were talking about my ear situation that is getting much better. While explaining her the situation, *I slammed my right ear with my right hand*. That was terrible. The ear was ringing like crazy and I became so nervous. Terrified of the situation, I took a high dose of steroids (I've always kept some for emergencies).
It looks like I got out of this situation cheaply, but have probably lost some of my hearing in this ear and resulted in a highly sensitive hearing.
When my therapist heard this story he asked me if I have had history of self harm. I was surprised with this question because to me it looked like a foolish accident.

A few months later I finished my military service and started working in a cafe. For the first time in a while I felt just normal. I had a daily routine that I liked and have almost forgotten about my ear problems.

At the beginning of this summer I found a job at a summer camp in the States. I flew with some co-counselors from Israel and have had a challenging experience. The camp's environment was very noisy so I had to take medications and minimalize the exposure to loud noises. There were also some incidents that were very loud so I ended up taking high-dose steroids at least once in two weeks (which is bad for my system).

Camp was over and me and this girl started traveling together. We had a great bonding and I felt like things are going positive. When we got to where we stayed I went to take a shower. Accidentally, I slammed the toilet's cover and it made a very loud noise. My ears started ringing immediately and I felt so stupid for creating harmful situations. Again, I felt anxious and took a high dose of steroids.

Same thing happened to me this Sunday. I was in a hurry and slammed the toilet's cover (ringings and ear pressure started again, no steroids left to take). A few days later and I slammed the closet's door. Yesterday I got a prescription and started the steroids again.

I've decided to start this thread because I feel my behaviors put my health at risk. Slamming doors and toilets covers make sounds that may not be harmful to everyone, but it is to me. Slamming your ear with your hand is harmful to any human being. I don't know why these things keep happening to me, and I'm searching for techniques or methods in order of adopting strategies to maintain a healthier environment. Of course, accidents happen. But I'm sure I can do better coping with my sensitive hearing situation.

Your comments are more that welcome!
Thanks a lot for reading.
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Old 09-15-2019, 11:52 AM   #2
Skeezyks
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Smile Re: Dealing with a medical issue and self harm

Hello Audsys: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the anxiety forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/anxie...c-and-phobias/

You might also take a look at the Health Support forum:

https://psychcentralforums.com/health-support/

As it happens, I also have tinnitus. So I know something of what you're dealing with. I've had mine for quite a few years now. And it's become something that isn't affected anymore by loud noises around me. It's just something that's always there & I no longer pay much attention to it. At one time I was prescribed Klonopin for it. And, at that particular time, it literally saved my life. I haven't found the need to stay on it though. Anyway... that's my tinnitus story in a nutshell, so to speak. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.
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Old 09-19-2019, 05:09 PM   #3
Audsys
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Default Re: Dealing with a medical issue and self harm

Skeezyks- thanks for your response!
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