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fishjam
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Crazy Jun 30, 2019 at 05:02 PM
  #1
I had my first bit of therapy last week and it's got me thinking a lot. I've felt very restless so today I'm taking the time to reorganize and rethink some loosely held/generally set long-term goals that I've had in my head for a while but haven't really done anything concrete with until now (going to therapy being my first step).

I find myself wanting to talk to somebody about my goals, but I don't know who to tell. I feel like I'll be annoying my friends, especially since we don't typically talk about our lives deeply in the sense of our future goals and things like that. I can't talk to family because none of them care, and if they claim to, it's only because my goals are against their beliefs (I'm trans and my existence is contrary to their world views).

I guess I just wish I didn't have to be so alone on my journey. It would be nice to encourage someone on their goals and get some support for mine, and to celebrate or commiserate I guess.

Who do you talk with about your goals, if anyone?

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wcoltd
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Default Jun 30, 2019 at 06:36 PM
  #2
In my experience, not only is it good to have long term goals. A vision for your future, I find it's best to break down your goals into chunks. I have a long-term goal, a middle goal - the middle goal is accomplishable in 3-6 weeks, and a short term goal in one day. My definite chief aim is, I'm going to make the greatest 3-D 3rd Person Space Combat game ever. It will have the greatest campaign story of any game in the genre. It will have huge maps to explore. That's my goal. I'll have a Demo release ready in 20 days from the date of this posting.

It's important to be around people who encourage you, or at the very least don't discourage you from your passions.

I will talk about anyone about my goals. It's always healthy to do that, and I put a date by when I'm going to accomplish said goal.

Today and tomorrow and the next day I'm going to finish the purchase menu for my game.

My demo release will be on July 19th 2019 - in it I will have a complete purchase menu, cargo screen, equiping, combat A.I., basic docking, greater shield and weapon and ship component selection, on top of all the things I've already accomplished: Garage ship selection, flight mechanics, targeting, off-screen indicators, motion, shields, ship health and energy U.I. and narration and last but not least lead indicators.

What's your goal?
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bornunderabadsign
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Default Jul 01, 2019 at 12:43 AM
  #3
I tell my mom or maybe a friend or other family member my goals. I don't always follow through. Mostly they are just like, "Alright and good luck." My current goal is to finish this intro to programming book I'm working through, prepare for a 5k in the fall, and obtaining employment. Those are my more short term goals. Longer term goals are to go back to school (university) and moving.

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fishjam
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Default Jul 01, 2019 at 05:40 AM
  #4
wcoltd, it's cool that you have the confidence to talk about your goals with anyone. My goals are mostly personal/self-improvement type things, so it feels a little awkward to share with just anyone. One of my main long-term goals is to medically transition, because I'm trans and dysphoric. The smaller steps involved are improving my overall health (mental, physical) and saving a lot of money. It's not something that's easy to talk about with most people.

bornunderabadsign, I'm glad you can talk to your mom or family members about your goals. I wish you good luck with both your short and long term goals as well.

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Default Mar 20, 2020 at 10:30 PM
  #5
fishjam I have found that I have to be careful who I talk to about my goals. Not everyone is the right audience. Someone told me about the analogy of the giraffe and the turtle, started by a preacher TD Jakes. It goes like this: the giraffe and the turtle see things from their own levels (the giraffe from a higher level, the turtle from a lower level). Since these two literally don't see eye to eye on things, they are not a good source of support for each other.

The goal is to be a giraffe and surround yourself with other giraffes, and avoid letting the turtles around you make you feel bad. For example, I shared a goal I had with someone who did not support my pursuit of that goal at all. Does that mean this person was right and I was wrong? No.

In hindsight, I was a giraffe asking a turtle for their opinion. What I will do from now on, is only ask other giraffes for their opinions. Once I know that someone's beliefs and opinions are meant to diminish my perspective -- as a turtle will do to a giraffe -- I have two choices: internalize their cynicism and negativity as "my truth" when they tell me that I won't be successful, or, realize that I accidentally confided in a turtle and not take anything they tell me seriously.

I feel like I'm alone on my journey too, like you feel, fishjam, because all this time, I've been a giraffe who allowed turtles to influence her choices. It's scary to be brave and be true to yourself. I have goals like you do. Now, I am only going to seek out other like-minded people and stop telling everyone I meet about my goals. I am going to limit what I tell people until I can sense that they are a kindred spirit.
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