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Old 02-27-2020, 10:33 PM   #1
TishaBuv
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Shocked I think Iíll move back to Momís

This bright idea may only last as long as it takes me to write this. I think Iíll ask them if I can move in with them. I can take the front bedroom. I can give them rent toward owning it, which will let them live there and have income. I will have to put money into cleaning and fixing it up, as everything is breaking and old. I can just get away from my husband and let him care for our son this last year. Our son will be 18 in his last year of high school anyway and driving, and husband is unemployed. I have had it with my family. My folks are old and not long for this world. I want to just go home and go to my room a total failure.
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Old 02-28-2020, 07:25 PM   #2
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Default Re: I think Iíll move back to Momís

Do a pros and cons list.
You are not a failure.
Life just gets bumpy sometimes.
Sometimes trying a different approach is ok, thinking outside the box.
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Old 02-28-2020, 08:17 PM   #3
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Default Re: I think Iíll move back to Momís

Pros and Cons is a great idea.
And if there is a good reason this is not the best idea, think of others. so many potential roads to travel...one life
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Old 02-28-2020, 11:03 PM   #4
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Default Re: I think Iíll move back to Momís

This post was just my flight response. I was in a really bad way last night.

My relationships are actually doing a little better lately. Mom and I are cool as long as I donít get into anything with her that will set her off. Sheís been great lately.

My FOO showed me their true colors and Iíve accepted what it is. No, weíre not close. It was only an illusion that we ever were anyway.

My husband is okay. He is the biggest trigger for me with our intimacy issue. Weíre handling it the best we can. Last night, he set me off. Today weíre better.

My son is what it is. I accept it and will just leave him alone.

I feel bad for having to show my other sons how ill I really am, but I donít regret them knowing this fact. Itís important. It does mean a lot to me that they care and will stay by my side.

I didnít go running and fly. I zonked myself out instead. I woke up and can handle another day.
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Old 02-29-2020, 09:42 PM   #5
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Default Re: I think Iíll move back to Momís

I had another bad day. The going back to momís idea may not be such a bad one. Maybe I can go and take a little break. At least, maybe sheíll let me clean out one room so I can sleep in it. Itís filled with smelly old clutter and I canít stand it. Itís old record albums and closets full of stuff no oneís used in years, just making smelly dust. Mom and Dad are nose blind to it and like the clutter. I am extremely allergic and neurotic and canít stand it...so thereís that...
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Old 02-29-2020, 09:48 PM   #6
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Default Re: I think Iíll move back to Momís

I just donít want to be alone. Iíll never get the energy to go and get myself an apartment and just move out. I just canít do it.

I got along with my folks when we lived together. They were easy to live with actually and nice to me...back when I was 25. Now itís 30 years later. At least I donít need them for money, itís the other way around now.

Iím suffering here too much with my husband. Iím in a bad mood from him all the time and just knocking myself out with meds. I donít need to be doing this. Iím wasting my whole life for what? I want to go home.

Even my nearly adult son doesnít need me now. Heís busy with his friends, has credit cards, takes care of himself. Husband doesnít work so can be the parent to make sure he goes to school final year. I can be close enough when he needs me.

The thought of calling that divorce attorney again just kills me...I canít stand to do it. Husband will just guilt me out of it anyway.

Maybe heíll just let me have this little break.
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Old 03-01-2020, 02:06 AM   #7
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Default Re: I think Iíll move back to Momís

Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Iíll never get the energy to go and get myself an apartment and just move out.

Iím suffering here too much with my husband. Iím in a bad mood from him all the time and just knocking myself out with meds. I donít need to be doing this. Iím wasting my whole life for what? I want to go home.

Maybe heíll just let me have this little break.
Rather than going home or getting an apartment--what about just staying in a cabin in the mountains or a hotel on the beach for a couple of days? If the weather is good then just viewing the sunset or sunrise can be rejuvenating. I think you need to learn to enjoy spending time alone. I have learned to deal with uncomfortable feelings about others by taking time outs. Sometimes those timeouts make us want to be with the people who were making us uncomfortable again. Most people aren't sunshine all of the time. It doesn't have to be a drastic step. Just find a place somewhere that you can get recharged. Sending positive energy your way. Your life is not a waste.
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Old 03-02-2020, 08:52 PM   #8
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Default Re: I think Iíll move back to Momís

Thought you already lived in your own apartment apart from your husband. Maybe you went back to your husband. I thought you were divorcing. Looks like you arenít.

It sounds like you are still unhappy. Maybe moving in with mom isnít a bad idea. Life is too short to be miserable.

You donít need his permission to have a break btw.
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Old 03-02-2020, 09:08 PM   #9
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Default Re: I think Iíll move back to Momís

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Thought you already lived in your own apartment apart from your husband. Maybe you went back to your husband. I thought you were divorcing. Looks like you arenít.

It sounds like you are still unhappy. Maybe moving in with mom isnít a bad idea. Life is too short to be miserable.

You donít need his permission to have a break btw.
We didnít finalize it. Itís been an exhausting back and forth for both of us. Itís not him, itís me. Iím traumatized by the intimacy issue. So is he. Weíre both too anxious. Aside from that, weíre good.

Iím seeing a psy now and on new meds. I had a bad weekend when I wrote this. Thankfully, I didnít run away, just slept it off.

Iím so glad we were together when our son emotionally abandoned us. I really donít know if Iíd have survived it alone.

Iím not well...but Iím really good when I am good, if that makes sense.
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Old 03-07-2020, 03:36 AM   #10
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Default Re: I think Iíll move back to Momís

Quote:
Originally Posted by TunedOut View Post
Rather than going home or getting an apartment--what about just staying in a cabin in the mountains or a hotel on the beach for a couple of days? If the weather is good then just viewing the sunset or sunrise can be rejuvenating. I think you need to learn to enjoy spending time alone. I have learned to deal with uncomfortable feelings about others by taking time outs. Sometimes those timeouts make us want to be with the people who were making us uncomfortable again. Most people aren't sunshine all of the time. It doesn't have to be a drastic step. Just find a place somewhere that you can get recharged. Sending positive energy your way. Your life is not a waste.
...just definitely not a cruise right now
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