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Buffy01
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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 09:06 PM
  #41
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Originally Posted by alchemise11 View Post
I just want to thank you for sharing this. I find it interesting that your username is Ying and Yang (light and dark) and that you discuss this in your post. I'm currently coming to terms with my mental health issues (GAD and depression), trying not to hate myself, because this just makes it worse. I punch myself in the head to deal with moments that are too frustrating to let go of in any other way. But I need to find another way that isn't damaging to my body. I've been suffering from tinnitus and being a musician, this really sucks. Anyway, I found for your post and made an account just to reply and say thank you, I feel inspired to be more loving of myself. I think I'm self-punishing on many levels, I don't desire sex or even self-love (masturbation) at all anymore, I don't know if that's something that is connected to self-harm. Thanks again for sharing. Am going to look into this more. Best, AK x
I am looking for better coping skills myself!
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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 09:07 PM
  #42
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Originally Posted by regan69 View Post
I've done this in the past, my explanation for my actions was that I was attempting to make a conversation-piece or look tough the next time I was in public. Guys with bruises on their face do tend to attract women occasionally. This doesn't seem to explain why you do it, but I figured I'd share
I completely understand!
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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 09:10 PM
  #43
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Originally Posted by Cerbian Kamarote View Post
I have this problem as well. It stems from bad upbringing and undiagnosed disorders (I'm pretty sure). One accident leads to another and feels like a jolt to my nerves where suddenly I can't function or focus and my nerves feel like they're about to explode. Before I know it, I've had one to five spastic problems on top of each other which causes extreme frustration and rage, then the punching starts. I repeatedly punch the side of my face until exhaustion. What's worse it the embarrassment of being heard or caught which makes me hate myself even more. This leads to more self-abuse. Days like that, all I can do to avoid having an awful day is go to sleep.
I'm sorry that you are struggling right now! You are not alone!
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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 09:12 PM
  #44
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Originally Posted by ToeJam View Post
I'm more of a wall puncher. I too si by cutting... but when I get overwhealmed and have to 'reboot' as I consider it... inanimate objects are fair game.

I can appreciate that it can be (I've been told) intimidating to others... but there is no 'actual agreesion'... especially not towards another.. my brain just blocks and I desperately need some sort of release to unblock it.
I'm sorry that you are struggling right now! You are not alone!
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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 09:14 PM
  #45
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Originally Posted by Kuras View Post
This is, unfortunately, a somewhat common occurrence for me if/when I'm manic or really angry. I have gotten better with it over time. It's definitely not something I want to do. I've got scarring on multiple knuckles and I don't really want more.
I understand and you are not alone!
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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 09:15 PM
  #46
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Originally Posted by Jewelsmom View Post
Just google searched hitting myself after a recent episode and groggy aftermath. I greatly appreciate the post and am more relaxed (I guess) to know I'm not alone. I hit myself because I want to die and I hate myself so I do t se the point in taking care of myself at all anymore. It's pretty sad I guess but I don't know any different. I've been hitting myself and pulling my hair since I was a child right where my mother would hit me. I guess I figure I'm not good enough for love so I hit myself just hoping I'll cause some damage and finally get the hell out of here. After I have an episode I am also groggy and my head can't be touched it's always so tender. Not sure what to do anymore so I'm looking into therapists but it's come to my conclusion that I won't really get what I need from some rando. All I know is they tell me I'm depressed and have anxiety but do depressed people scratch their bodies on the reg, hit themselves to die, slam their head into doors, get overwhelmed with technology that become physically angry and destroy it? I'm sure that depressed people do some of those things hit I think my anger has something to do with my negative reactions. I'm just scared to let people know other my my boyfriend and mother.
We are all here for you!
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Default Jul 05, 2019 at 07:50 PM
  #47
Me and my sisters are bipolar I. Before we had treatment, we had violent fist fights. I have no reason why, but it makes me feel better having online fist fights with another woman. Maybe, because the feelings I get with the fight makes me hate myself less. When I hate myself less, I stop thinking of hurting myself for real. Strange, but for me it helps.
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Default Feb 05, 2020 at 08:38 PM
  #48
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Originally Posted by bchris02 View Post
I used to do this from about middle school age up through my early twenties. Sometimes I would give myself nosebleeds. I can't remember the last time I had an episode but it's been years. However, I am worried about the long-term health problems I may have from what I used to do. I already know I gave myself/worsened TMJ disorder because of it and have had a chronic neck ache since I was 23. I'm hoping that's the worst of it but I'm not so sure.

I would advice anybody who is still doing this to get some kind of help. There are other ways to deal with your anger/emotions than self-harm.
I'm back on here dealing with this issue again. I was demoted at my job before Thanksgiving from IT to customer service/call center and this issue has resurfaced. I'm lucky nowadays if I can make it through a day without doing this. I hate it and it's ruining my life. I feel terrible the rest of the day when it happens.

The trigger for me is getting an angry customer who is overwhelmed and doesn't listen. It's especially bad if they start insulting me or accusing me of something. It was that way back in my early twenties at my last call center job and it's that way now.

The problem went completely away when I moved to an IT job but now that I'm back doing call center work it has returned. I think it's related to PTSD from childhood and verbal abuse from my parents. How can I stop having these episodes? I can be conscious of it but when one of those calls comes in and the yelling starts, it's a trigger and I cannot stop myself. The fact I was demoted despite being with the company seven years and always getting great reviews is another factor. It's been a huge self-esteem hit. I'll try the rubber band thing maybe.

I need to find another job but I have to quit cannabis use first. I'm currently 23 days clean and am pushing for about 60 before I start looking for a new job. That way I can be certain to pass a pre-employment drug screening.
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alwayswhy
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Default Mar 04, 2020 at 09:02 AM
  #49
I also hit myself in the head. HARD. Brutally hard. Started in my mid teens I think. Been doing it for decades (yes, decades). To any younger people reading this, you may want to get some help with this. No, I don't mean to tell you what to do because I hate it when people tell me what to do. But I have severe headaches daily. I have tinnitus. I almost always do this to the right side of my head (I'm right handed) and my right eye has had several problems over the last 10 years or so: detached retina, vein occlusion, etc.


I'm seeing a therapist now that is actually addressing this. I should say "trying" to address this - I'm a difficult patient . My previous 3 therapists, when I would hit myself IN SESSION, either ignored it (yep, completely ignored the violence right in front of them) or simply said "hey, cut it out". At the recommendation of my current therapist I'm going to get some brain scans to see what the damage might be. I just want to know. The scans are by no means a treatment but purely informational.

The common, simple DBT-type distress tolerance skills like snapping a rubber band or holding an ice cube simply don't work for me. I'm sorry but the avalanche of emotion can't be held back by a rubber band or an ice cube. It's like trying to hold back the ocean with a broom.

Yeah, this is fun.
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