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Default Mar 31, 2018 at 06:33 PM
  #21
I use to bash my head on the basement walls or ceramic sinks at work or the granite counter(the granite hurt and caused the most damage).

I did not need much as this was painful and did the job quicker than burning or cutting. It calmed me down fast because well when you bang your brain you get a little lethargic.

I have not had to do that in over a year but the urge comes on bad when overwhelmed with frustrating emotions or self hatred comes on.

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Default Apr 23, 2018 at 03:34 AM
  #22
I used to hit and bang my head hard as an escape for my anxiety issues and stressful school work 5 years back.
Now the urge is back again. I wanted to full on crash my head into the wall but couldn't have the guts to do it and that makes me feel worse. I still end up doing it but there is not enough impact to make my head feel very painful or to induce some sort of concussion/memory loss.
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Default Apr 23, 2018 at 03:14 PM
  #23
I don't hit my head, but I punch my own arms or hit my arm against a hard edge like a counter or wall corner.
It's something I do much more impulsively in the moment if I'm frustrated or upset with myself, unlike cutting which requires at least some planning, being at home, and cleanup. That makes it a lot harder to quit.
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Default May 26, 2018 at 08:54 AM
  #24
When I get really angry, I punch myself in the head hard. Sometimes only once out of frustration, but I mostly hit multiple times until I'm almost knocked out. I see black spots and feel foggy for awhile. I think that I do it because I want to stop what I'm feeling emotionally. I also feel like if I knock myself out, I can't hurt the person I love anymore. Hope this helps, even though it sucks, it's kind of nice to know that I'm not the only one who does this.
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Default Jul 03, 2018 at 08:58 PM
  #25
I do it because I hate myself. Pure, undistilled loathing. I just lost my gf. She just...didn't want me anymore. And of course, I blame myself because everyone leaves in the end. And this time, I was the cause of it for some unknown reasons. So this lead me to not only raging out and hitting myself, but doing so at 80 mph an hour down the interstate. My hands shake as I type that. I realize how dangerous that was, and in the very center of that rage, I didn't care. Make me lose my gf, mofo? That was the one thought I had. I really feel a rather strange urge to seperate myself from this other half of me and use pronouns other than "myself," that's how badly I loathe myself.

Feels even stranger to find some others who also feel that this is a form of self-harm.
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Default Jul 08, 2018 at 05:22 PM
  #26
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Originally Posted by moomoocows View Post
Although I know there is another thread with the same subject, I decided to start a new one because I felt that some of the messages in the other thread were condoning hitting yourself/punching yourself, which I believe it should be considered on the same level as cutting, ie: it is self harm.

I guess I am mostly seeking advice and also wondering if anyone else has this issue. Unfortunately, I am also a cutter, so essentially I have issues with self-harm. And I am very ashamed about this and would not disclose this to anyone but this private forum.

When I am really really upset, disconnected, and having what I call an "episode" I sometimes get very very angry (usually at myself or how I am feeling) and I will repeatedly punch myself in the head with fists very hard. It is really horrible and I always feel awful afterwards and dizzy. Unfortunately, last night I did this for quite sometime. I finally stopped when I really scared my partner and he held me down. All day today my head has felt sort of murky, bad headache and after some Advil, it still kind of aches. I am sure it is just sore from what I did. I did some research online and it seems you can't really cause a concussion or anything, although I think the emotional effects are really terrible. Perhaps it was due to my episode and issue last night, which was really awful and I won't go into it, but I have felt very out of it all day. Unable to focus or think clearly at work. (I did not want to come in, but that's another story)

I guess I was just wondering if anyone that has Borderline Personality Disorder or anyone else, do you sometimes have these reactions also? It is unfortunately something I have done ever since I was a teenager. Often it was related to a very intense emotionally abusive fight or argument with someone, where I became extremely upset.

In addition, when I am so upset and revved up and out of sorts, what should I do? I was told to use a rubber band on my wrist and snap it. I don't want to be inappropriate but I did that method before and after my head punching and now my wrist is really bruised and swollen, so apparently that is not the best method either.

Any help, advice, or similar experiences would be helpful. Thank you.


I can strongly relate to this. When I get super upset and frustrated, I begin uncontrollably punching my thighs. Sometimes I use objects to hit myself with. I figure it's better than hurting someone else, which I have rarely ever had the urge to do anyway. I haven't cut myself in over 6 years, so that is not a habit I want to get back into; even though I have had the strong urge today to do it. Somehow, my mind justifies "punching", as if it's somehow different than cutting. Even though it's basically the same, in essence. They are both "self-harm", just manifest in a different way.

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Default Jul 09, 2018 at 10:21 AM
  #27
Starting in my 40’s after years of frustration in a bad marriage, specifically intimacy issues, I smacked myself in the head with my brush. I had never even thought of doing that before in all my life. Never even heard of anyone doing it. No one gave me the idea. I continued doing this kind of SH for a few years. It was automatic and uncontrolled during extreme frustration. The blinding pain, hot, surging through me felt exquisitely good for a moment. I had hoped the SH would scare my husband into giving me what I wanted, but it didn’t. I stopped the SH.

I went to therapists. I have learned the moment they hear anything regarding SH, they say “Borderline”.

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Default Apr 19, 2019 at 03:26 AM
  #28
Just did a search on Google for banging my own head. Did this a couple of nights ago for the first time in years and still incredibly sore. What a lot of people are saying on this thread really resonated with what I'm going through from punching thighs, pinching and banging my head. I scream at the tip of my lungs when doing a lot of motorway driving too which helps me.

At present I am undergoing a serious amount of stress along with young kids and not the easiest of husbands who can be very critical when he's stressed.

It all stems from childhood of having a disconnected mother who has never accepted the role she played in causing her children's mental health problems and a father that was frankly awful at me throughout my childhood (which to his credit has admitted that he was horrible back then and regrets it).

I had counselling at 14 for 3 years to which I was diagnosed with depression. I have been on antidepressants through difficult phases of my life (have only come off medication which been on for the last 3 years, 3 months ago). I don't regret it and trying to cope through SH again as feel antidepressants alter my personality and perceptions of stuff around me making me more inclined to accept rather than challenge people or situations.

I've not been diagnosed with much else as very distrusting of health providers and the labels they put on people (i have a very good friend whose been labelled as such and feel that has made her feel worse which I think it would make me feel worse). Don't feel it's fair when they put the word disorder in these labels as it's out of a person's control having a bad childhood that doesn't enable the right development steps. I feel society is quite apathetic when it comes to such things, rather medicate than treat. I have drawn these conclusions from school who let me down, even ostracized due to my race and neighbours that heard abuse taking place and would ostracize (primarily due to race).
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Default Apr 19, 2019 at 03:46 PM
  #29
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Originally Posted by DHKG79 View Post
When I get really angry, I punch myself in the head hard. Sometimes only once out of frustration, but I mostly hit multiple times until I'm almost knocked out. I see black spots and feel foggy for awhile. I think that I do it because I want to stop what I'm feeling emotionally. I also feel like if I knock myself out, I can't hurt the person I love anymore. Hope this helps, even though it sucks, it's kind of nice to know that I'm not the only one who does this.
I am sorry you are in so much pain and suffering. Unfortunately hitting your head as you do is a cause of traumatic brain injury and concussion. I am not sure what else you might do but you may want to seek other alternatives.

This may be of interest.
Alternatives to Self-Harm with Dialectical Behavior Therapy | Dialectical Behavior Therapy Understood

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Default Apr 19, 2019 at 04:13 PM
  #30
what can you do in the moment instead of hurting yourself soothe yourself try hugging a teddie or pillow try writing down your feelings what can you do to deescalate your anger ?

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Default Apr 19, 2019 at 07:24 PM
  #31
One of my littles self harms by punching herself or banging her head. We always know when she has been out because when we come back the body is sore and covered in bruises.
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Default May 01, 2019 at 07:43 PM
  #32
I score very high in borderline personality disorder and hit myself in my head and sometimes stomach too often but I'm trying my best to stop it. One time after hitting my head I had problems using my right fingers for a few days.

This is a form of self hate, right? For me it just feels so good. During those moments I just want to squeeze the life out of this body.
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Default Jun 29, 2019 at 05:33 PM
  #33
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Originally Posted by moomoocows View Post
Although I know there is another thread with the same subject, I decided to start a new one because I felt that some of the messages in the other thread were condoning hitting yourself/punching yourself, which I believe it should be considered on the same level as cutting, ie: it is self harm.

I guess I am mostly seeking advice and also wondering if anyone else has this issue. Unfortunately, I am also a cutter, so essentially I have issues with self-harm. And I am very ashamed about this and would not disclose this to anyone but this private forum.

When I am really really upset, disconnected, and having what I call an "episode" I sometimes get very very angry (usually at myself or how I am feeling) and I will repeatedly punch myself in the head with fists very hard. It is really horrible and I always feel awful afterwards and dizzy. Unfortunately, last night I did this for quite sometime. I finally stopped when I really scared my partner and he held me down. All day today my head has felt sort of murky, bad headache and after some Advil, it still kind of aches. I am sure it is just sore from what I did. I did some research online and it seems you can't really cause a concussion or anything, although I think the emotional effects are really terrible. Perhaps it was due to my episode and issue last night, which was really awful and I won't go into it, but I have felt very out of it all day. Unable to focus or think clearly at work. (I did not want to come in, but that's another story)

I guess I was just wondering if anyone that has Borderline Personality Disorder or anyone else, do you sometimes have these reactions also? It is unfortunately something I have done ever since I was a teenager. Often it was related to a very intense emotionally abusive fight or argument with someone, where I became extremely upset.

In addition, when I am so upset and revved up and out of sorts, what should I do? I was told to use a rubber band on my wrist and snap it. I don't want to be inappropriate but I did that method before and after my head punching and now my wrist is really bruised and swollen, so apparently that is not the best method either.

Any help, advice, or similar experiences would be helpful. Thank you.
I am struggling with this right now! I just had an episode!
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Default Jun 29, 2019 at 05:34 PM
  #34
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I don't do the punching but I do hit my hands if I get upset. For example last year this nurse ignored me and falsely accused me of falling in love with her. Anyway I began scratching and hitting both my hands. Still have the scars.
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Default Jun 29, 2019 at 05:35 PM
  #35
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My brother hits himself in the face until he has black eyes and such... I scratch and pinch and hit very hard objects.
I'm sorry to hear that! I wish I knew how to stop!
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Default Jun 29, 2019 at 05:38 PM
  #36
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I know someone who does something similar to that, but he doesn't go until he's bruised; he just does it a few times, then manages to get his emotions under control.
Different story for me--if I'm going to hit/punch myself, or do that to something that can hurt me, I'm going all-in. I'll bruise myself, cut myself, or basically do anything that leaves a long-lasting mark on my body. I don't recommend doing it to that extreme, but if absolutely necessary, try to find a different way to cope. That's what my therapist told me, but it doesn't work for me. It might work for you, but then again, you're different than I am.
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Default Jun 30, 2019 at 07:21 AM
  #37
I did it for a short while in my life, when my frustration and anger, and confusion about whether it is my mental health or bad relationships was at it’s peak. I decided it is bad relationships I suffer, and I am pretty ok. I stopped doing anything to hurt myself now. It’s been six months. During that time, I was diagnosed borderline traits, probably because of that SH. It was only a short-lived means of coping after extreme stress and exasperation! I never did it before (35 years old) and I don’t do it anymore in my early 50’s.

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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 08:56 PM
  #38
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Hello moomoocows: Yes. I have a history of head hitting and head banging. And I want to warn you... as a result of my relentless head banging (more-so than hitting, I believe) I now have Meniere's Disease which is a condition of the inner ear and tinnitus (constant ringing in the ears.) These conditions can be managed but not cured. I also have had a detached retina in one eye which I suspect was related to my self-harm activities.

There's more to be concerned about when you talk about head hitting / banging than concussions. So I would like to strongly recommend that, if you are not already receiving help for this, you do so. Over the long haul, there can be some really difficult consequences.

You mentioned that you tried the rubber band idea. Another thing I've heard suggested is to make a list of things you really like to do. Then when you feel like self-harming, pick out an activity from the list & do that, or a couple of the activities from your list, until the urge passes. But, really, this is something you should get professional help with. There can be serious long-term consequences for hitting or banging your head.
I am currently do this myself three days ago I begin to get dizzy and has a bad headache!
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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 08:59 PM
  #39
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Hi Moomoocows, I suffer in a similar way. When I have arguments with loved ones I can become extremly distressed and emotional about it. I don't know if my attitude changes when I'm going "into one" of those moods and then the argument comes from that, or if the emotional response comes solely from the argument. I do then often feel like I'm shaking profusely and get pins and needles sensations in my face. I feel utterly overwhelmed by anger, disappointment, sadness and fear. I become so overwhelmed at points that I know there needs to be a massive release of some sort to return to a more normal (whatever that is!) and natural calmed state. Inevitably I have found that after some time of distress with no let up I somehow subconsciously decide that I need to release the negative energy and that's when in past situations I have self harmed through punching myself repeatedly as hard as I can. I have punched myself all over my legs and head and face before. Afterwards I am left feeling some relief from the overwhelming emotions, however, I am left feeling very ashamed and I feel really down on myself and depressed (not to mention exhausted) In my search for an answer to stopping this compulsive behaviour I have realised that my being ashamed and afraid of behaving that way just adds to ill feeling about myself and perpetuate the negative cycles. It is terribly embarrassing when I come round from such episodes, as I am aware of how similar to a childs temper tantrum they are! I also feel disappointed in myself for not being able to just stop it. I've decided at this point in my life that what I need is to truly love myself and hating that part of me is not helpful. I am still trying to accomplish this. We all have different sides to us and I need to learn to love the dark AND the light sides of myself. I decided and promised myself that no matter what I must at least TRY to find solutions because giving up on myself simply isn't an option! This is my first sharing of this issue with anyone other than my husband, but I had to let you know that you aren't the only one.
I'm sorry that you are struggling right now! You are not alone!
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Default Jul 02, 2019 at 08:59 PM
  #40
Are there any coping skills for head banger?
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