It has been ___ days since I SIed -- Part V!

whisperingskye · Sep 28, 2017 at 03:38 PM

I'm still at zero. Today in an attempt to quiet some of the urges and makeme feel a bit better I went and got a new piercing. Sort of impulsive but I like piercings

Carmina · Sep 28, 2017 at 03:50 PM

0 (+7 characters)

spiritpanda · Sep 29, 2017 at 09:39 PM

i think 4 months. no urges but, i've been feeling incredible lonely. i see everyone else and that envy inside me starts burning. started carrying my scalpel heads in my wallet again which isnt good

It has been ___ days since I SIed -- Part V!

might even hit my breaking point again which hasnt happened in years

Bill3 · Sep 30, 2017 at 11:29 AM

Hang in there spiritpanda!☺

88Butterfly88 · Oct 01, 2017 at 10:10 AM

I was having a really good run, I was doing so well I wasn't even posting here. But I si'ed today.

4428247 · Oct 02, 2017 at 12:30 AM

I was doing sorta okay with my run but I broke it today. I got extremely angry and didn't know how else to release the tension

Fizzyo · Oct 02, 2017 at 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

I was having a really good run, I was doing so well I wasn't even posting here. But I si'ed today.

((((((((88Butterfly88))))))))

You did well, you can start again. Be kind to yourself

Fizzyo · Oct 02, 2017 at 04:14 PM

4428247

PsychNitrous · Oct 02, 2017 at 10:00 PM

Back to 0 already. Things keep digging at me, like I have no defense anymore. There's got to be something I can do about it, but I don't know what. I need help.

childofchaos831 · Oct 03, 2017 at 09:37 AM

21 days, a whole 3 weeks! Surgery is Thursday, 2 more days... I hope I can keep up not SHing after it...

Bill3 · Oct 03, 2017 at 09:58 AM

Congratulations childofchaos831

and I hope that your surgery goes well!

Oct 03, 2017 at 12:18 PM

Back to one. Was feeling disconnected. There was some stresss last week that I didn't process. A bit better now.

TishaBuv · Oct 03, 2017 at 01:26 PM

I’m just mildly abusing Benadryl to cope. It relaxes me. It’s technically SH. I’m in a lot of physical pain with my neck, too. The Benadryl just makes me not care so much. I wish there was a drug a doctor could prescribe that really works, but i’m done trying that. Also, I’m really bored and isolated. Not motivated to do anything. There’s so much I could be doing, but I can’t concentrate. So I think the little bit of Benadryl is ok.

lilclassicbeauty · Oct 03, 2017 at 08:59 PM

Back to square one :-(

Oct 03, 2017 at 09:12 PM

I'm sure this is common but my upcoming meeting with a disgusting person I hate, and my internship, makes me want to SI, badly.

I'm not sure I'll be able to get through the multi day event for my internship I'm planning, and the next couple of weeks, without intensive SI.

Bill3 · Oct 03, 2017 at 09:16 PM

It sounds like the eliciting of powerful negative feelings gives rise to the urge to SI. I gather that right now there seems to be no other way to manage or process these intense, negative feelings.

childofchaos831 · Oct 03, 2017 at 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I’m just mildly abusing Benadryl to cope. It relaxes me. It’s technically SH. I’m in a lot of physical pain with my neck, too. The Benadryl just makes me not care so much. I wish there was a drug a doctor could prescribe that really works, but i’m done trying that. Also, I’m really bored and isolated. Not motivated to do anything. There’s so much I could be doing, but I can’t concentrate. So I think the little bit of Benadryl is ok.

Have you ever been prescribed vistaril? It's in the same class as benadryl, and can be prescribed for anxiety... might be worth asking your doc... too much benadryl can still be bad.

Oct 03, 2017 at 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

It sounds like the eliciting of powerful negative feelings gives rise to the urge to SI. I gather that right now there seems to be no other way to manage or process these intense, negative feelings.

Yes, although "not processing" would mean two things--either I don't actually feel it because I got rid of it and then I kind of float away (usually pertaining to stress), or I can't deal with feeling it (dealing with repulsion).

I just feel like crap right now. I drafted a resignation email for my internship, because, frankly, that is psychologically soothing to me. When I was at the offices over the summer, the environment was so repulsive that I often went to the bathroom and self injured there.

No wonder I stayed sane longer than the other intern.

I can't seem to grit my teeth and do the work, so I might as well self injure and get on with it.

6328Minette · Oct 03, 2017 at 10:20 PM

Still a big fat zero 0. I don't know what I am going to do w/ myself. I thought I could make it through the day but it was just too much. Everyone makes it seem so simple and I know it's not. It's just the way people say encouraging things like 'I know you can do it' and focus on the positive things' make it seem like it's supposed to be more simple than this but it's not. For me I feel like I don't have a choice. Everyone has their own reasons for why and until I get help with mine I don't think I will make it past a day.

88Butterfly88 · Oct 04, 2017 at 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fizzyo

((((((((88Butterfly88))))))))

You did well, you can start again. Be kind to yourself

Thank you.

everyone.

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It has been ___ days since I SIed -- Part V!

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Carmina Poohbah Member Since Sep 2017 Location: A Growlery in the UK Posts: 1,158 6 129 hugs given	Sep 28, 2017 at 03:50 PM #842 0 (+7 characters)

spiritpanda Member Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Roselle Posts: 231 7	Sep 29, 2017 at 09:39 PM #843 i think 4 months. no urges but, i've been feeling incredible lonely. i see everyone else and that envy inside me starts burning. started carrying my scalpel heads in my wallet again which isnt good might even hit my breaking point again which hasnt happened in years

Bill3 Legendary Member Since Mar 2009 Location: USA Posts: 10,924 15 24.1k hugs given	Sep 30, 2017 at 11:29 AM #844 Hang in there spiritpanda!☺

88Butterfly88 Moderator Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015 Location: New Jersey Posts: 54,206 (SuperPoster!) 8 10.5k hugs given	Oct 01, 2017 at 10:10 AM #845 I was having a really good run, I was doing so well I wasn't even posting here. But I si'ed today.

4428247 Member Member Since May 2017 Location: Fort Dix Posts: 274 6 59 hugs given	Oct 02, 2017 at 12:30 AM #846 I was doing sorta okay with my run but I broke it today. I got extremely angry and didn't know how else to release the tension __________________ ---- I am not throwing away my shot Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Self-Harm, ADHD-Inattentive, Dermatillomania

Fizzyo Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2015 Location: UK Posts: 3,282 9 3,980 hugs given	Oct 02, 2017 at 04:14 PM #848 4428247 __________________ We're people first, anything else is secondary.

PsychNitrous Poohbah Member Since Feb 2016 Location: At Home Posts: 1,398 8 106 hugs given	Oct 02, 2017 at 10:00 PM #849 Back to 0 already. Things keep digging at me, like I have no defense anymore. There's got to be something I can do about it, but I don't know what. I need help.

childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Oct 03, 2017 at 09:37 AM #850 21 days, a whole 3 weeks! Surgery is Thursday, 2 more days... I hope I can keep up not SHing after it... __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

Bill3 Legendary Member Since Mar 2009 Location: USA Posts: 10,924 15 24.1k hugs given	Oct 03, 2017 at 09:58 AM #851 Congratulations childofchaos831 and I hope that your surgery goes well!

Anonymous50909 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 03, 2017 at 12:18 PM #852 Back to one. Was feeling disconnected. There was some stresss last week that I didn't process. A bit better now.

lilclassicbeauty Member Member Since Sep 2017 Posts: 35 6	Oct 03, 2017 at 08:59 PM #854 Back to square one :-(

Anonymous50909 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 03, 2017 at 09:12 PM #855 I'm sure this is common but my upcoming meeting with a disgusting person I hate, and my internship, makes me want to SI, badly. I'm not sure I'll be able to get through the multi day event for my internship I'm planning, and the next couple of weeks, without intensive SI.

Bill3 Legendary Member Since Mar 2009 Location: USA Posts: 10,924 15 24.1k hugs given	Oct 03, 2017 at 09:16 PM #856 It sounds like the eliciting of powerful negative feelings gives rise to the urge to SI. I gather that right now there seems to be no other way to manage or process these intense, negative feelings.