It has been ___ days since I SIed -- Part V!

childofchaos831 · Jun 04, 2017 at 11:00 AM

One day, but the urges are strong today... not sure if I can fight it. Might try just taking a nap later, idk.

AmandaBroken · Jun 04, 2017 at 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

One day, but the urges are strong today... not sure if I can fight it. Might try just taking a nap later, idk.

I understand how tough this is. Do you want to talk it through with me? We can do a private chat or send me a PM.

I find distraction the best way to fight urges. Have you tried any distractions? Like, go for a walk, maybe a run. Sit in the sun, ride a bike, listen to music, watch TV, call a friend...

I'm here if you need me...

Amanda

AmandaBroken · Jun 04, 2017 at 02:00 PM

91 Days...

4428247 · Jun 04, 2017 at 02:38 PM

7 days, no urges yet today

AmandaBroken · Jun 04, 2017 at 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4428247

7 days, no urges yet today

Great Job... I believe you can do this... High Fives...

If you start to hit a bump feel free to contact me.

We can do a private chat or you can PM me...

childofchaos831 · Jun 04, 2017 at 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmandaBroken

I understand how tough this is. Do you want to talk it through with me? We can do a private chat or send me a PM.

I find distraction the best way to fight urges. Have you tried any distractions? Like, go for a walk, maybe a run. Sit in the sun, ride a bike, listen to music, watch TV, call a friend...

I'm here if you need me...

Amanda

I've been stuck with my mom all day so far. Just got home. Really really want to SH right now. Took a couple benadryl, and gonna lie down and try to nap. Hopefully sleeping will help the urges pass and I'll wake up feeling a little better.

Fizzyo · Jun 04, 2017 at 03:22 PM

(((((((((Childofchaos)))))))))

Fizzyo · Jun 04, 2017 at 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4428247

7 days, no urges yet today

Well done, long may it last. Best wishes as you continue the good work.

AmandaBroken · Jun 04, 2017 at 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

I've been stuck with my mom all day so far. Just got home. Really really want to SH right now. Took a couple benadryl, and gonna lie down and try to nap. Hopefully sleeping will help the urges pass and I'll wake up feeling a little better.

That's good... I'll be here if you need me...

junkDNA · Jun 04, 2017 at 03:30 PM

Thanks for support guys. They are beginning to fade. They were not bad at all.. So they should be gone soon. Just did really superficial stuff to please the voices (hallucinations) and their commands

PsychNitrous · Jun 05, 2017 at 05:56 AM

0 again. It's really obvious, but no one sees. As much as it shames me, I wish someone would see them. But I don't know what they could do if they did. I wish I could do worse.

Jun 05, 2017 at 10:00 AM

5 days
Before that about a year.
Every time I think I have finally gotten control I loose it.

AmandaBroken · Jun 05, 2017 at 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Imalooney

5 days
Before that about a year.
Every time I think I have finally gotten control I lose it.

Great job... High fives...

Instead of saying I have gone without cutting for 5 days try saying in the last year I have only cut once. From that perspective, you are doing much better...

I am here if you ever need to talk...

Amanda

AmandaBroken · Jun 05, 2017 at 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PsychNitrous

0 again. It's really obvious, but no one sees. As much as it shames me, I wish someone would see them. But I don't know what they could do if they did. I wish I could do worse.

I understand those feeling. But I want to say I see them. Because when I see my scars I see all the people who ever cut. I know the struggle. I know the highs and lows, I know the success and the failure, hang in there you can beat this.

If you ever need to talk feel free to contact me...

AmandaBroken · Jun 05, 2017 at 12:18 PM

92 Days without Self-Harm...

Jun 05, 2017 at 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmandaBroken

Great job... High fives...

Instead of saying I have gone without cutting for 5 days try saying in the last year I have only cut once. From that perspective, you are doing much better...

I am here if you ever need to talk...

Amanda

It does put it into a different perspective.
I just feel ashamed for mutilating my body and so weak for letting emotions get me so unraveled.
All these years of counseling and learning coping skills have not been helpful. Or at least I haven't made them be helpful.

Thank you Amanda

Looney

PsychNitrous · Jun 05, 2017 at 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmandaBroken

I understand those feeling. But I want to say I see them. Because when I see my scars I see all the people who ever cut. I know the struggle. I know the highs and lows, I know the success and the failure, hang in there you can beat this.

If you ever need to talk feel free to contact me...

Thanks. I just don't know what I can do anymore. I think I'm doing all I can to fix my problems, but I want to be doing more. I feel like the only advice anyone can give me that I haven't already heard is to talk to someone, but I can't afford it. There really isn't anything the people around me can do besides listen, and they do. I just feel like I deserve to hurt.

AmandaBroken · Jun 05, 2017 at 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PsychNitrous

Thanks. I just don't know what I can do anymore. I think I'm doing all I can to fix my problems, but I want to be doing more. I feel like the only advice anyone can give me that I haven't already heard is to talk to someone, but I can't afford it. There really isn't anything the people around me can do besides listen, and they do. I just feel like I deserve to hurt.

This may be an absurdly ridiculous thing to say

You can talk to me. We can do a "Private Chat" or a "PM".

If you can tell me where you live I can check and see if there are any free programs available where you live. At lease what country yo live in...

I have an appointment to go to but I will be back later...

Amanda

Fizzyo · Jun 05, 2017 at 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PsychNitrous

I just feel like I deserve to hurt.

((((((((PsychNitrous))))))))

That is a very painful feeling to have, whether or not you know in your head that it's not true, it's how you feel and that is so hard to cope with.

You're coming here and I respect you for that. I really feel for you.

4428247 · Jun 05, 2017 at 09:55 PM

8 days clean

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It has been ___ days since I SIed -- Part V!

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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jun 04, 2017 at 11:00 AM #421 One day, but the urges are strong today... not sure if I can fight it. Might try just taking a nap later, idk. __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

AmandaBroken Account Suspended Member Since Mar 2017 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 10,250 (SuperPoster!) 7 26.2k hugs given	Jun 04, 2017 at 02:00 PM #423 91 Days...

4428247 Member Member Since May 2017 Location: Fort Dix Posts: 274 6 59 hugs given	Jun 04, 2017 at 02:38 PM #424 7 days, no urges yet today __________________ ---- I am not throwing away my shot Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Self-Harm, ADHD-Inattentive, Dermatillomania

Fizzyo Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2015 Location: UK Posts: 3,282 9 3,980 hugs given	Jun 04, 2017 at 03:22 PM #427 (((((((((Childofchaos))))))))) __________________ We're people first, anything else is secondary.

junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Jun 04, 2017 at 03:30 PM #430 Thanks for support guys. They are beginning to fade. They were not bad at all.. So they should be gone soon. Just did really superficial stuff to please the voices (hallucinations) and their commands __________________

PsychNitrous Poohbah Member Since Feb 2016 Location: At Home Posts: 1,398 8 106 hugs given	Jun 05, 2017 at 05:56 AM #431 0 again. It's really obvious, but no one sees. As much as it shames me, I wish someone would see them. But I don't know what they could do if they did. I wish I could do worse.

Anonymous37965 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 05, 2017 at 10:00 AM #432 5 days Before that about a year. Every time I think I have finally gotten control I loose it.

AmandaBroken Account Suspended Member Since Mar 2017 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 10,250 (SuperPoster!) 7 26.2k hugs given	Jun 05, 2017 at 12:18 PM #435 92 Days without Self-Harm...

4428247 Member Member Since May 2017 Location: Fort Dix Posts: 274 6 59 hugs given	Jun 05, 2017 at 09:55 PM #440 8 days clean __________________ ---- I am not throwing away my shot Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Self-Harm, ADHD-Inattentive, Dermatillomania