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#241
Day 1 again and I don't deserve to be kind to myself.
I'm a turd. |
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Bill3, Daeva
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Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
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#242
(((((whispershadow)))))
You are not a turd. This time was four days? How long have you been going generally lately? |
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: Underworld
Posts: 1,343
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#243
2 years, 7 months, and 27 days.
I mean I'd congratulate myself but I just can't |
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Bill3
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Bill3
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: Underworld
Posts: 1,343
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#244
Quote:
That's a lie. Your mind is enabling you to do it again, don't let your brain tell you you deserve it, that it's punishment. you control you mind, don't let it control you. one of my professors used to say 'your thoughts control your emotions' you are the boss. dont let any one, even yourself, tell you differently. |
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Legendary
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Location: USA
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#246
Thanks! And what would you say roughly your average has been?
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
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#247
Daeva your work is very longstanding and admirable. Well done!
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#248
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Bill3
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Location: USA
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#249
Okay so four days was much longer than you have been able to do recently. It was not your longest ever, but it was good when seen in recent context. That’s good! You can keep working on it and aim for gradual overall improvement, no doubt with ups and downs. You can do it!
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: Underworld
Posts: 1,343
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#250
Bill is right whisper, you beat it with four days when it was begging you to do it once a day. You were the boss then.
One thing that always helped me stay "sober" so to speak with cutting, was when I got the urge I'd tell myself, 'Okay this is painful, it feels like it's going to overwhelm me, but I know it won't I'll survive because I have before, even before I began cutting. So since I know I'll survive why not just wait an hour to cut? What's the harm, if I want to do it then I can. It's my choice, my safety net is there." So I waited an hour, then if I still wanted to cut I'd go, "well I did an hour, let's see if I can do another." and so on and so forth until eventually I didn't want to do it then. It's difficult, I won't lie, but you can do it. I cut cause I wanted the release from overwhelming feelings, so if you hurt yourself to feel pain I don't know if this would help as much. Bill: Thanks. Even if I feel like ****, at least someone understands how hard it's been. It's so easy for my therapist--who wasn't even my therapist when I was cutting (I've gone through 3 since her)--to tell me 'oh thats great' like she doesn't get it. My first T gets it. the last time I saw her was one year ago and she positively beamed at me when I told her. It's nice. I havent had that feeling in a while, I guess pride is what it is, so thank you. |
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Bill3
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Bill3
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Member Since Oct 2017
Location: France
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#251
__________________ Avatar by Hyanna Natsu- |
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Bill3
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Bill3
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
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#252
1 day. Was IP but still managed to harm. Trich stuff and some other minor SH.
__________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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Bill3
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Bill3
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#253
I'm really struggling not to cut today. The number three has been after me since yesterday and it tells me it will only leave me alone if I cut.
I've managed 7 days so far. |
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Bill3
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Bill3
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Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
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#254
Good job reaching seven days whispershadow!
What is the significance of the number three to you? Hang in there! Know that you are doing excellent work regardless of daily ups and downs. |
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Anonymous32891
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#255
Quote:
Three has done bad things to me in my life,
Possible trigger:
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Bill3
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Bill3
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#256
Annnnnnnd this piece of scum is back to day zero
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Bill3
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
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#257
(((((whispershadow)))))
You are not a piece of scum. Seven days is a valuable, positive step. You can start another good run. |
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Anonymous32891
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Member
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Roselle
Posts: 231
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#259
relapsed after 2 years. i just got tired of getting third degree for doing something correct and doing something wrong. feels like no matter what i do its not good enough. i just wanted to cry and this was the only way
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Anonymous32891, Bill3
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Location: USA
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#260
(((((spiritpanda))))))
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Anonymous32891
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