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Default Dec 15, 2017 at 06:56 AM
  #1
yes, well, okay I don't know what V meant so I just put W

continuing from the last thread

0

and I actually looked forward to it too

I'm at the stage where I look forward to it blah

that's how much I rely on it
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Default Dec 15, 2017 at 10:12 AM
  #2
Yay, new thread!

I like part W, shattered sanity! The V was actually the Roman numeral for 5, I'm guessing. So this thread would bed 6, or VI (vi). I like the W better tho!

I SHed yesterday, and needed medical attention yet again. The severity seemed to be getting worse. The docs definitely seem to be getting mire concerned.

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Default Dec 15, 2017 at 11:05 AM
  #3
I really like the W!

Roman numerals - 1=I, 5=V, 10=X, M=1000 (I don't know the ones for 50, 100, 500)
You generally start with the highest and add on, so I, II, III = 1, 2, 3. V=5 and 6 would be VI (5+1) (starting with the highest). 4 is a bit of a special case - it was originally written as IIII, but because they don't like to repeat the same number more than 4 times, nowadays they generally write it as IV (so first a 1 and then a 5, meaning 1 less than 5).

I'm 13 months, 5 days. I've had almost nightly (and sometimes daily) urges lately. The thing stopping me is that my preferred method requires me to sit at my desk for at least long enough to light a candle and heat something, and I'm generally too scared to do that when I have urges at night. I'm not generally too scared to take a knife from my drawer but cutting in bed without getting blood on the sheets is difficult (and bloody sheets would mean my parents knew what had happened).
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Default Dec 16, 2017 at 10:32 AM
  #4
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Originally Posted by childofchaos831 View Post
Yay, new thread!

I like part W, shattered sanity! The V was actually the Roman numeral for 5, I'm guessing. So this thread would bed 6, or VI (vi). I like the W better tho!

I SHed yesterday, and needed medical attention yet again. The severity seemed to be getting worse. The docs definitely seem to be getting mire concerned.


I like this thread too

even more because i've been waiting for ages to continue a thread.. a check- in, or something like that

it's like 1 thing off my bucket list- I have continued an important thread on psychcentral forums.

(yes, that is written down)
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Default Dec 16, 2017 at 10:34 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by Breadfish View Post
I really like the W!

Roman numerals - 1=I, 5=V, 10=X, M=1000 (I don't know the ones for 50, 100, 500)
You generally start with the highest and add on, so I, II, III = 1, 2, 3. V=5 and 6 would be VI (5+1) (starting with the highest). 4 is a bit of a special case - it was originally written as IIII, but because they don't like to repeat the same number more than 4 times, nowadays they generally write it as IV (so first a 1 and then a 5, meaning 1 less than 5).

I'm 13 months, 5 days. I've had almost nightly (and sometimes daily) urges lately. The thing stopping me is that my preferred method requires me to sit at my desk for at least long enough to light a candle and heat something, and I'm generally too scared to do that when I have urges at night. I'm not generally too scared to take a knife from my drawer but cutting in bed without getting blood on the sheets is difficult (and bloody sheets would mean my parents knew what had happened).


thanks bredfish

math... not my strong point

what was 1 +1 again
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Default Dec 16, 2017 at 10:47 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by shattered sanity View Post
I like this thread too

even more because i've been waiting for ages to continue a thread.. a check- in, or something like that

it's like 1 thing off my bucket list- I have continued an important thread on psychcentral forums.

(yes, that is written down)
I know, it's a cool feeling, right?

And I think you just started a new SI-days-thread tradition: the Letter counting instead of the Roman Numeral counting!
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Default Dec 16, 2017 at 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Breadfish View Post
I know, it's a cool feeling, right?

And I think you just started a new SI-days-thread tradition: the Letter counting instead of the Roman Numeral counting!


hahhaa!

well their are 26 letters, it will keep us going for a good while

and of course, we could then use letters from other countries (greek for example)

imagine the omega thread. lol
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Default Dec 17, 2017 at 07:58 AM
  #8
0

punnished myself for having a pannic attack this morning
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Default Dec 19, 2017 at 09:19 PM
  #9
13 days.....

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It has been ___ days since I SIed -- Part W!!
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Default Dec 20, 2017 at 01:56 AM
  #10
Okay, so only 5 days by the end of today, but that is really great right now. When I sh, I only need to see blood so I make a lot of shallow cuts. I had been doing this every few hours every day up until 5 days ago and I got myself to stop after scaring the s.t out of myself because I thought I got one of those tendons or veins in my foot. I'm doing amazingly well considering I got two college rejection letters in that time span

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Default Dec 21, 2017 at 04:21 PM
  #11
I’m a few hours short of 30 days...not 100% convinced I’ll make it though.

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Default Dec 21, 2017 at 05:03 PM
  #12
Hang in there!!!!!



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Default Dec 21, 2017 at 09:45 PM
  #13
303 days today! (10 months)
(I love the "part W" thing!)

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Default Dec 23, 2017 at 08:09 PM
  #14
I had a dream - more like a nightmare - and my dream actually ended with the thought/decision "And now I'm going to self injure." I had decided to in my dream because of what happened in the dream.

So I woke about 10 minutes ago wanting to self injure really badly. Still want to. Parts of the dream were basically emotional abuse and PTSD-ridiculing through my mother and sister, and that is something that can happen and does happen in real life. (Well my sister doesn't do it - she's not deliberately insensitive, and not usually accidentally insensitive either - but my mother does, sometimes. Such as when I'm triggered by something she can't connect with what happened, she's real accusing and I have to defend myself. Just because it doesn't make sense to YOU that I'm triggered by asparagus doesn't mean I'm not triggered by it! (Yep, this is actually an example from real life. Asparagus reminds me of Stuff.)

Trying to temper the urge with "pdoc said to quit my new meds (been on them since Friday) if I got worse a lot, and that we might quit them on Wednesday if I got worse a little".
Don't want to quit the meds before I've given them the potential to actually help.

As for what to do now..
- PRN , but I'm very tired already and I took benzo sleep meds this evening. Not sure if I want to add another benzo.
- Lock bedroom door (physical barrier between me and mother, and also sister). Sounds like a real good idea only I don't feel like getting in a fight with my mother over it in the morning.
- Play the piano for a while to calm down. I think I'm too tired and woozy for that though.
- Call the clinic and talk to a nurse. Might help I think. Only drawside is that my call-or-come-as-needed contract with them ended om the 23rd (if I remember correctly) and my pdoc gave me a new one but that starts on the 26th.
Or maybe I'm not remembering correctly and current ends on the 26th also. Also, they aren't really difficult about it in my opinion - they know me, I have only made use of the contract less than 5 times myself (mother also called a couple of times when she was worried. For example when she suspected I was manic.).
- Call a helpline. Might help.
- Write out the dream in more detail so I can if I want discuss it with pdoc or T.
- Work on the story I'm writing. Main character is recovering from PTSD and I could write he has a nightmare. Then I'll either have him calm and reassure himself, or I'll have his housemate comfort/help him. It would make me feel reassured, comforted, safe, because he (my character) is.
- Try to sleep.

Think I'm going to lock the door and write about the dream. Then maybe call the clinic or helpline or take a PRN.
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Default Dec 23, 2017 at 08:26 PM
  #15
Hope things get easier breadfish.

I made it to a month for the first time in about 2 years... its a christmas miracle....

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Last edited by whisperingskye; Dec 23, 2017 at 09:30 PM..
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Default Dec 23, 2017 at 09:09 PM
  #16
Congratulations whisperingskye!
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Default Dec 24, 2017 at 02:57 PM
  #17
it's been 3 days
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Default Dec 25, 2017 at 09:43 AM
  #18
4 days now
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Default Dec 25, 2017 at 10:50 AM
  #19
5 days... Seems the only reason is because family in town and a trip to the ER would be difficult if it was bad enough to need it. Bit also, my pdoc put me back on naltrexone which helped in the past with self harm urges and that could be helping also.

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Default Dec 25, 2017 at 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Breadfish View Post
- Work on the story I'm writing. Main character is recovering from PTSD and I could write he has a nightmare. Then I'll either have him calm and reassure himself, or I'll have his housemate comfort/help him. It would make me feel reassured, comforted, safe, because he (my character) is.
Just wanted to say I write stories like this too, and if it's not too presumptuous, I also find it very helpful to imagine the help I need. Hope you are feeling a bit better today . Best wishes.









I think it's around two weeks for me.
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