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Default Jul 06, 2019 at 04:53 PM
  #741
I just had my 4 year anniversary. SI free. It's possible.

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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Jul 06, 2019 at 05:29 PM
  #742
Congratulations seesaw!
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Default Jul 06, 2019 at 05:41 PM
  #743
Really depressed. Want to self harm.

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PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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Default Jul 06, 2019 at 06:12 PM
  #744


(((((((childofchaos831)))))))
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Default Jul 08, 2019 at 12:27 PM
  #745
Hugs ChildofChaos831

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Default Jul 14, 2019 at 09:38 AM
  #746
2 days.

I get so filled with bad feelings and anxiety that I feel I am going to explore, mostly as I am trying to go to sleep. I just want to release the badness but have fought off the urges for months. And I haven't sleep well for at least that long.

Then two nights ago I gave in. I'm telling my family the two swipes on my thigh is from the dog running me into a fence. But I have been able to sleep the entire night through for the past two nights, so somehow I feel like it worked. I feel like if I tell T then I would be doing so in a matter of fact manner, which would fail to show the pain beneath.
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Default Jul 14, 2019 at 09:46 AM
  #747
2 days. I saw the pdoc at PHP on Friday and he prescribed a prn for psychosis. It's really helping. Without constant hallucinations, I'm able to fight the urges better. I'm hoping to be able to go back to PHP tomorrow morning and report no SH.

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Default Jul 14, 2019 at 10:20 AM
  #748


Thanks for the update childofchaos831!

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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 09:36 AM
  #749
1 day. I lapsed yesterday. I should have gotten it stitched, but I didn’t want to go to the hospital. So I didn’t. Now it’s too late.

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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 10:05 AM
  #750
1 day. Tried going to the ER to prevent it but it didn't help. The voices got the better of me... Again...

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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 01:13 PM
  #751
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But great job getting over 50 days again!

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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 01:14 PM
  #752


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Default Jul 30, 2019 at 02:22 PM
  #753
10 days right now. I hope T isn't disappointed tonight because I was supposed to make it until the end of this month. =/

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Default Jul 30, 2019 at 08:31 PM
  #754
Ten days is good! 🙂
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Default Jul 31, 2019 at 10:58 AM
  #755
Thanks Bill. I'm not too triggered at the moment so 10 days is a good start. Hopefully I can get a lot more.

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Default Aug 13, 2019 at 12:15 PM
  #756
Zero. I only made it to 23 days. I've been very depressed lately.

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Default Aug 13, 2019 at 03:11 PM
  #757
😞

I’m really sorry that you have been depressed.

23 days sounds pretty positive in the face of a lot of depression.

What do you suppose is fueling the depression?

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Default Aug 13, 2019 at 03:14 PM
  #758
I don't know what is fueling the depression. Likely my medication needs to be changed. I'm not thrilled about that because I really don't want to add another medicine but I might have to. Either that or it's some spiritual warfare going on. There is nothing in my life that is happening that could be causing the depression. I'm working. Nothing has changed. So it's not environmental or lifestyle. Just keep feeling like crap. I didn't SH last week when I was feeling suicidal so that's something, but I just couldn't fight it this week. HUGS Kit

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Default Aug 20, 2019 at 11:52 AM
  #759
105! Today's a tough one in regards to urges though, but I'm sure I'll make it.
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Default Aug 20, 2019 at 12:57 PM
  #760
Congratulations spikes!

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