how to bring up self harm with counsellor

smallbluefish · Jun 11, 2018 at 12:33 AM

[content note: mention of self harm, dissociation, and shame]

I think I self-harmed for the first time today (not sure if it's self harm because I was dissociating and didn't consciously think of doing it). I feel like I should bring it up with my counsellor, who I'll see later this week.

my counsellor's really understanding, but at the same time I feel really nervous and a tiny bit ashamed about it. idk what I'm afraid of--maybe I'm worried he'll be mad after all the work we've done so far? I was doing really well compared to when I first started seeing him too. don't really know how to bring this up...

Skeezyks · Jun 12, 2018 at 08:50 PM

Yes it's important to talk with your counselor about this, at least in my opinion. I think the best way to bring it up is just to say it. I know it's difficult.

But assuming your T is experienced, he will have heard it all before. And he'll know how to handle it.

ForestWasp · Jun 13, 2018 at 01:16 AM

I would deffinetly say yes bring this up with him. I mention to my therapist even when I SH only a few times. She handles it professionally and just wants to make sure that I dont need medical help to get them taken care of. Its something that he needs to know because it relates to the way that your feeling emotionally. Just like Skeezyks said hes heard it all before.

Scooter9 · Jun 15, 2018 at 05:33 PM

I know how you feel, I was ashamed to bring up my SH episode. I finally said during the session, "something happened this week that I think you should know about..." It took a while longer to finally say it but I did it. My therapist was not upset or sad, he was supportive and concerned. Looking back on it now, years later, I'm glad I brought it up.

smallbluefish · Jun 16, 2018 at 01:12 AM

thanks all for sharing your stories and encouragement so far. I really appreciate it <3 I'm seeing my counsellor tomorrow and still deliberating whether I should bring it up. it doesn't help that this is the first time it's happened and it won't happen again (at least I don't believe it will)! but your words are helpful and even if I don't bring it up tomorrow I'm going to try and bring it up eventually.

possum220 · Jun 16, 2018 at 10:31 PM

Bring it up. You may find it helpful to write it down and give it to him in order to open up the conversation. If you were dissociated at the time a part of you was initiating the action. No point in seeing a counselor if you aren't honest about the issues you are struggling with.

smallbluefish · Jun 19, 2018 at 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by possum220

Bring it up. You may find it helpful to write it down and give it to him in order to open up the conversation. If you were dissociated at the time a part of you was initiating the action. No point in seeing a counselor if you aren't honest about the issues you are struggling with.

hugs--that's a good point about a part of me initiating the action while dissociating, and makes me realize part of why it's hard to bring up is because I had trouble even accepting that it happened at all! thanks

Feathers143 · Jun 19, 2018 at 09:09 AM

Hugs! You say your counselor is really understanding, so I imagine he'll be really supportive and help you understand what happened. I would encourage you to talk about this at your next appointment. If you find it hard to speak the words I like the idea presented that you can write it down so he will initiate the topic. I don't think he'll be mad, I think he will be relieved you trust him enough to talk to him about this, and you'll be helping both of you to better help you.

possum220 · Jun 21, 2018 at 08:36 PM

Hope thing went well when you saw your therapist.

smallbluefish · Jun 23, 2018 at 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by possum220

Hope thing went well when you saw your therapist.

thanks for checking in

I did end up bringing it up, and although we didn't get deep into it (I brought it up in the second half of session), I do feel a little less worried about the whole thing and it's nice to know it's not a "secret."

Jun 23, 2018 at 05:00 AM

I'm glad you brought it up, smallbluefish

you are brave

smallbluefish · Jun 23, 2018 at 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whispershadow

I'm glad you brought it up, smallbluefish

you are brave

Feathers143 · Jun 26, 2018 at 05:57 PM

Hugs! Thanks for updating us!

smallbluefish · Jun 26, 2018 at 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feathers143

Hugs! Thanks for updating us!

thanks for checking in <3

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possum220 Legendary Member Since Jan 2009 Location: Uppa Gumtree West Posts: 19,397 (SuperPoster!) 15 7,983 hugs given	Jun 16, 2018 at 10:31 PM #6 Bring it up. You may find it helpful to write it down and give it to him in order to open up the conversation. If you were dissociated at the time a part of you was initiating the action. No point in seeing a counselor if you aren't honest about the issues you are struggling with.
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possum220 Legendary Member Since Jan 2009 Location: Uppa Gumtree West Posts: 19,397 (SuperPoster!) 15 7,983 hugs given	Jun 21, 2018 at 08:36 PM #9 Hope thing went well when you saw your therapist.
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Anonymous32891 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 23, 2018 at 05:00 AM #11 I'm glad you brought it up, smallbluefish you are brave
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Feathers143 Junior Member Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Ohio Posts: 10 5 7 hugs given	Jun 26, 2018 at 05:57 PM #13 Hugs! Thanks for updating us!
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