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Old 02-18-2019, 10:19 PM   #1
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Default Accidental Disclosure

I started going to therapy again a couple weeks ago to deal with some compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma; did not intend to get into my past. We started talking about me going back to university to do my masters (in counselling psychology) and all of a sudden I'm telling her about how the first time round doing my social work degree was a horrible time for me, and then tell her about how I used to cut myself.

I was not expecting our therapy session to go this way.

I generally don't have an issue with my past, I haven't cut in at least 12 years (recovery IS possible). But this bothered me. The whole disclosure.

She asked me if I still thought about cutting, and I do, all the time. I'm super confused about the whole thing. Caught between feeling judged, put in a box, and wishing she'd reacted more, instead of normalizing my feelings and telling me that others have had similar experiences.

Luckily I have two weeks between sessions to process, but wow, this whole thing came out of left field for me.

Anyone have experience disclosing self injury waaaaay down the road? Or disclosing at an unexpected time?
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Old 02-19-2019, 10:44 AM   #2
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Default Re: Accidental Disclosure

The first T I had when I was little, I didn't tell her until maybe six months in. And that was just because I showed up with short sleeves on one day and she brought it up. It hadn't occurred to me to bring it up because it wasn't abnormal for me. It was just something I did. Now I disclose first session every time. It just helps to get it out there. But I'm still struggling with SH. I'm lucky if I make it 50 days at a time without it. I don't know what it's like to disclose after a long time of not doing it, because I don't have that experience. Its good you have some time to think about it. Maybe say, you know, I hadn't meant to disclose that at this time. See what comes of it. I understand about wanting T's to react more instead of normalizing it. It's a balance thing for me. I want some reaction without over-reaction. It's a tightrope walk really. Congrats on the 12 years. You are an inspiration. HUGS Kit
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Old 03-04-2019, 05:00 AM   #3
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Default Re: Accidental Disclosure

Yes, I've disclosed years after cutting, and it always gets a reaction. Not always the one I hope for, which is that people will just ignore it and move on...I can't really hide it. I mean I have scars all over my body, and they're fat ones, on a fat body. So, I get shame for cutting, shame for fat, and just about anything else that's easy to judge on appearance or first disclosure. lol. I kind of ignore it now...I just roll my eyes and feel sorry for them that they lack the experience or humanity to treat people like us with care and sensitivity. One issue I have with therapists, is that they are qualified to a certain academic and practical standard, but who knows if this person has ever been face to face with a serious cutter before. Who knows if they say all that normalization of feelings stuff, because THEY were the ones who were caught off guard, and they really have NO idea how to handle us. I'm selective who I tell my cutting history to, but again, I can't hide it, so I get questions all the time from random people as well as professionals in treatment. I just say my truth, and leave it with them. If they freak out it's their problem, not mine.
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