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Junior Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Chicago
Posts: 23
8 20 hugs
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#1
i have a question and answer honestly...
do you ever get too old for self harm? personally for me you don't "grow out of it" you start and rarely stop...at least in my case __________________ love everyone even if they suck (that means they need it the most) |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, StripedTapir
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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#2
I don't believe you do.
me... I've been on and off since I was 9 and I'm in my 30's now |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
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#3
Quote:
I truly wanted to just walk out of that office .. but back then, I was a person that would just sit there like a punching bag no matter how much or who flung the abuse at me. The counselor even had the nerve to laugh at me - bc I was 35. Told me I was just doing it for attention. I will tell you the truth. I did it bc I was hurting so bad inside there was no way to get it out. I did it the way I did - bc nobody would listen when I would say what was wrong. They would laugh or tell me I was lying or that it wasn't that bad, etc .. so.. I made sure they had to view it n read it, if they would not listen. So it served a dual purpose for me. It was cathartic. It was a means of expression (not attention) so people understood. I have not done it for close to 10yrs now - but the past couple weeks, the urges are strong again. What keeps me away is I remember how it stopped working unless I dug a bit deeper - and how I also had a sense of shame about doing it and how proud I am of being clean of it. __________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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SlumberKitty
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dphoto
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#4
So far I haven't gotten too old for it...and I'm in my 30's. Some people seem to think it's a teenage thing. But that hasn't been my experience.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 28
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#5
I actually didn't start SHing until a few years ago and I'm in my 30s....
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, SlumberKitty
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
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#6
I think anyone who says you're "too old" for it is insensitive and doesn't understand how it works. I do think it may be more common in younger people simply because they haven't yet learned other coping mechanisms. But it's a matter of when you get help and if that help is effective, not age.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
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#7
Quote:
So .. convincing myself I truly needed to stop in those moments I was in my deepest emotional pain - was like trying to convince myself why it is better amputate vs continue try to heal an infected limb that is not responding to any treatment thus far. I simply held on to the "good" parts of it - and tried to push away the bad. I eventually had to decide which emotional pain was worse. The one causing me to SH or the shame I inflict upon myself when I SH. I decided the shame was worse and made a plan to help ... took several tries .. eventually I got to where I am now. I do not believe the urges will ever completely go away. There will be long stretches I go without any urges. Then something happens - and they are back. Now I know how to handle them. When I started SH - all I knew was the pain I was in and the isolation I felt. I also believe that's why many teens turn to it.. I don't think it's something done out of ignorance, but just out of desparation for immediate release of emotional pain. __________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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SlumberKitty
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