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TalkingToGhosts
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Default Oct 05, 2019 at 02:59 PM
  #1
I don't quite understand what is going on with me at the moment. I've been stressed and anxious lately and the stronger those feelings get, the more I feel the urge to hurt myself. The weird thing is, it's a physical urge. I can actually feel my wrist "tingle", like an itch that you desperately need to scratch.
Yesterday something happened that pushed me over the edge. I scratched my arms open with a sharp object until I felt calmer. I repeated the same thing today.
Now I don't know what to do because I know that it's not right but it feels too damn good to not do it. It's the first time in weeks that I've felt sort of calm.
Distractions don't work because I find it difficult to not do something that actually makes me feel ok for once.
I don't know what to do.
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Smile Oct 05, 2019 at 07:59 PM
  #2
To me... the experiences you describe sound similar to what many, if not most, individuals who self harm experience (including yours truly)... not that that's of any help. Here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, that talk about self-harm, why people do it & how it is treated:

Cutting and Self-Injury

The Psychology of Cutting: The reasoning behind self-mutilation

A Brief Guide to Self-Harm and Unhealed Childhood Trauma | The Psychology of Self

How to Stop Punishing Yourself

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Default Oct 06, 2019 at 10:32 AM
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Default Oct 07, 2019 at 02:06 PM
  #4
I get that. I have that a lot too. I try to explain to my T that it is a physical thing as much as an emotional thing but I don't think she gets it. HUGS. Hope you feel better soon, Kit

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Default Oct 07, 2019 at 06:54 PM
  #5
I sort of struggle with understanding why self-harm is deemed a bad thing. I get it to a certain degree, like when people cause actual harm to their bodies by injuring muscles or causing too much blood loss or similar. I get why that's bad.
I swear I'm not glorifying hurting yourself but when I did it I felt like I could breathe normally for the first time in weeks. The noise in my head finally stopped. Overthinking and stressing myself out seems far more harmful to me than causing some superficial scarring on my skin.
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