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SlumberKitty
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Default Nov 27, 2019 at 05:02 PM
  #1
Hi everyone, have any of you ever told your coworkers about your self harm? When I was young and first working my coworkers found out about it because I wasn't very good at hiding it back then and they tried to help and stuff but they weren't always so helpful.

And then later at another workplace I was doing stock outside and it was hot like over 100 degrees so I took my shirt off but had a tank top on and the boss came out and saw my scars and pretty much freaked out and then told all my coworkers. Sigh.


So I have never intentionally told a coworker about it. Now I'm older and I work in an office and I wear long sleeves all the time and no one really knows about it, although I think one coworker might at least suspect. I've been talking to one coworker about my depression and stuff but I've never told her about my self harm or anything like that. I don't know if I will.


I just wondered if anyone here had and if it turned out well or if it turned out bad? I'm always afraid of getting fired for it or something even though I do good work and get complimented on my work all the time. But I don't want to be seen as a "freak" or "mental case" so I don't bring it up. I'm afraid of giving TMI too. But sometimes I just want to be myself and not have to hide. IDK, thoughts or experiences anyone?


HUGS Kit

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Default Dec 01, 2019 at 02:53 AM
  #2
I haven't told anyone about self harm, but I did always regret it when I confided in people that I was feeling suicidal or told people about things that happen in my family. It's best to only tell your closest friends and people you are sure you can trust. People just behave differently when they know. Sometimes predatory types will see you as easy prey. Some just act like you're crazy but don't say it directly.

It is tough when you have to conceal scars. Can you maybe get some long sleeves that are thin light fabrics for hot days? Maybe look into treatments or creams that help fade scars faster? I think you do have the right to wear whatever you like and people have no business asking you about your scars unless they are good friends but I understand how awkward it is to have poeple notice. I remember when I was a kid, having a big cut across my nose because my older sister pushed me down a flight of stairs. For some reason, I was really embarassed about the cut and when people kept askong about it I kept lying and saying it was nothing and it didn't hurt. So I don't know exactly what to do in your situation.

Are the scars very deep and are you till getting new ones? I did manage to fade some old scars that were quite big by taking a lot of vitamins and beta carotene and with home dermabrasion kits.
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Default Dec 01, 2019 at 04:39 AM
  #3
I think telling your coworkers is a terrible idea. Office gossip can ruin things for you.

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Default Dec 02, 2019 at 10:26 AM
  #4
I tend to think similarly, that it's probably not the greatest idea to tell your coworkers. Think about the cost benefit analysis of this. I mean, if you tell that one coworker about it, you might feel some temporary relief, but on the potential negative end, if that information that you shared gets around to those who you don't want knowing about your self-harm, then that will make you feel worse, I would think.

So you have on the potential costs end, something much worse than the potential benefits. Obviously this is my opinion and I'm not telling you to do one thing or another, but I would think about it before telling anyone.
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Default Dec 02, 2019 at 03:22 PM
  #5
My friends knew, and were supportive. Unfortunately so did my managers [it happened in a dreadful meeting one day, I don't even remember why] and eventually they used it against me.
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Default Dec 02, 2019 at 04:00 PM
  #6
Yeah, I am trying to not tell my coworker about the SH even though I have told her about the depression. I didn't tell her about my recent SUI attempt either though. Best for her not to know I think. In the summer where I live it can get quite hot 110 degrees F. But I always say the air conditioning makes me cold in the office (which isn't exactly lying) so I usually have a cardigan on and I can push up the sleeves a little bit because the scars on my wrist are quite faded, whereas the further up my arm you go, the worse they get. I do have some lightweight gauze like blouses too that I wear sometimes in the summer. I'm glad it's winter now because I can wear sweaters and stuff and no one thinks twice about it. Sometimes I just get sick of hiding it though. But I don't exactly want to ruin my whole professional life either. HUGS all, Kit

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