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SlumberKitty
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Default Jan 08, 2020 at 02:10 PM
  #1
Hi Everyone, what I am struggling with right now is ambivalence. I've struggled with this for a while actually. I want to want to stop self harming. But I'm not sure I can say I want to stop self harming. I know there's lots of good reasons to stop self harming. But it's always been my "go to" y'know, that one thing I can count on. Pastor T is kind of pushing me in this topic. Saying our goals aren't aligned. How do you deal with the ambivalence? How do you get past it? Of course I want to be free from Self harm. I want to live my life without it. But....there's always that but. How do I get past that to fully committing to recovery? Pastor T seemed at a loss. IDK what to do. I'm going to discuss with regular T and see what she has to say. I'm struggling to not feel like a failure in therapy with Pastor T. All the things he kept asking me, I was like IDK. He was like, what if you had a friend that was an alcoholic? What would you say to them? IDK. I'm not in that position. I'm pretty non-judgy. If a person needs a drink then y'know, just try to be safe, don't drive that kind of thing. That wasn't the right answer. I know what he is trying to do. He is trying to get me to see self harm as an addiction like drinking or drugs or something like that. Which in some ways it is, but I think in other ways it might be different? I just can't seem to get past this ambivalence. Any advice would be great. HUGS all, Kit

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Default Jan 09, 2020 at 01:21 PM
  #2
HI Kit, sorry you are struggling but it sounds like you have reached a point where you want a new habit that gives you the relief you get from self harming. I think anything we do is a habit when we repeat it over and over again. It is best to start in small ways.

For instance when I am starting to want to do things I know will hurt me, I do a 5 minute exercise like this YouTube

If that does not work I do urge surfing. What is that? It is explained here YouTube

There are some alternate responses to avoid self harming here

like these mentioned Self-Harm: The Myths & the Facts | Embracing Balance
Quote:
Here are some alternatives for you. Instead of hurting yourself, give these a try:

Write your feelings down and then tear them up. Feelings come and go and you don’t need to keep re-reading something that is upsetting or triggering.
Move around. Exercising or dancing releases endorphins in your brain that make you happy.
Run ice cubes down your arms or legs
Freeze an orange and then hold it in your fingertips for a brief time
Draw a picture of yourself and mark it where you want to hurt yourself.
Scream and yell out your frustrations
Throw some pillows around; punch them if you have to.
Color or paint, make it as pretty or ugly as you want.
Make something, anything.
Fill a mason jar with colored water and glitter; shake it when you’re stressed.
Ask for help, it’s a hard thing to do but also one of the bravest and strongest.

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SlumberKitty
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Default Jan 09, 2020 at 02:39 PM
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Thanks @CANDC

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