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Old 03-24-2020, 12:45 PM   #31
SlumberKitty
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Default Re: Lent II

Today is rough.
Possible trigger:
I don't even know why. Sigh. I was doing a little better with the urges but now they are back and smack dab in my face. My arms are crawling with hurt. I was hoping the increase in the AD and the AP would help this, and I think it has, just today is a hard day and I want to hurt myself. I don't know but I think some of it might be COVID 19 and all the uncertainty over that. Whether or not I will be able to sustain employment during this time. Right now we fall under critical manufacturing so we are allowed to stay open but it depends on our customers and our suppliers if it is viable for us to be able to stay open. Our hours are likely going to be cut even if we do.


I had a good session with my regular therapist on Saturday and I had a good Skype session with my Pastor Therapist last night. Both of them had good things to say about me and my progress. Maybe this is the other shoe dropping. Had to go to Church on Sunday via live stream, although I did get to view the service in my PJ's so that was kind of fun. And I had to join the dreaded Facebook in order to go to Sunday School class because it was held on Facebook Live Stream. I'm sad about the services on Holy week. I'm thinking of doing communion at home on Good Friday. I haven't figured out what to do for Holy Thursday or Holy Saturday. Basically 16 more days of Lent. If/when I make it that far I will be at 75 days which is pretty cool. Easter will be 78 days. I'm trying to think of how good that will feel to try to negate the feelings of wanting to hurt myself.


HUGS all, Kit
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Old 03-24-2020, 03:27 PM   #32
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Argh, I got triggered and now it is way worse. I'm still wanting to hurt myself but I know I can't right now. I made a commitment to God. I need to be busy at work or find something to do so I can get my mind off things for a while. It's just hard.
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Old 03-24-2020, 05:00 PM   #33
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HUGS

((((((((Kit))))))))))
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Old 03-25-2020, 10:32 AM   #34
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You got this! Sending warm hugs what kinds of things are you doing to distract yourself?
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Old 03-25-2020, 11:03 AM   #35
SlumberKitty
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Thanks @spikes I'm doing lots of different things to distract myself. Lots of religious things like
Possible trigger:
. I'm talking to my group of ladies who are my support. I recently joined a social media site so I am uploading lots of pictures and stuff there. Reading. Writing. Drawing. Trying to be more open as a person. Letting people in more. Improving my social connections. I joined a support group and went two times before Covid 19 hit. Thanks for the hugs! HUGS to you Kit
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Old 03-25-2020, 11:07 AM   #36
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You are doing lots of constructive, excellent things!



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