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emmaleemochizuki
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Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 179
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#1
I have been struggling with self harm since I was 11/12 years old.
I have scars all over my arms and legs but most of them are healed, and they have turned white. However my mum was always so against me wearing short sleeves and shorts during the summer because it will mean that I will show my scars. She blamed it on me that I was negative influence on my younger cousin, who they think is showing early signs of self harming, and they have found knives in her room. She said I affected her as she saw my self harming scars and as a teenager she is copying me. But how is that my fault? I spend long years hiding my scars, and made sure I covered it as I was ashamed of them, it's only the last summer when I finally decided it was enough and I didn't want to hide anymore, it was a big step for me, and how is that my fault if someone else is struggling? She's made me feel so guilty now, and like I did the wrong thing. |
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96reppirtyad
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Crone
Nammu
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,981
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#2
It is not your fault. You are not responsible for other people's self harm.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
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Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#3
I agree with Nammu. It's not your fault. Your younger cousin has her own stuff she's dealing with. Her self harming isn't about you and you aren't to blame for her actions. HUGS kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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New Member
Idontfeelenough
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Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: Alabama
Posts: 5
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#4
As an self harmer I can honestly sit here and say that your scars are not something to be ashamed about. They tell a story of your fight. They are battle scars.
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Junior Member
96reppirtyad
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Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: the desert, U.S.
Posts: 12
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#5
I’ve been told many a time that the one thing that is 100% never, ever your fault is someone else’s reaction. We may do things in a way to try and prevent a negative response but in the end, it’s the other person who we can’t control and who will make decisions on their own terms. (sorry if this is lengthy and incoherent but TL;DR: other people’s reactions are not your responsibility nor your fault.) It can be extremely triggering if someone points them out (i’ve had it happen too, as probably all of us here have) especially if they don’t understand or are rude. Bottom line, wear short sleeved shirts and shorts. Other people can have their opinions and judgements but those opinions and judgements are not worth getting heatstroke!
__________________ are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? |
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