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MuddyBoots
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MuddyBoots Bricks through the window and I think it's time I go
 
Member Since: Sep 2020
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Default Oct 01, 2020 at 08:24 AM
  #1
Today would've been one week without self harming, except it's not because last night I kept hearing a male child telling me to hurt myself. At first I tried to ignore it, but when I was going to bed I couldn't so I cut.
The ****** part is that's it's somewhere that on Tuesday when I get my injection the nurse will see it and ask a lot of questions and email the rest of my treatment team. My pdoc is already frustrated with me for being drunk during our last phone appointment(s) and my t is also frustrated because I have gained no headway since I started seeing her a year and a half ago, maybe even slid backwards.
I'm still having hallucinations today, but they're not telling me to do anything right now so I guess that's good.
I just wish I could go a day without screwing up.
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SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
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Default Oct 01, 2020 at 12:29 PM
  #2
Command Hallucinations suck. I was having Audios last night but it was just like two people mumbling or chanting or something so it was just distracting and sort of irritating. I don't get command hallucinations too often but they are really hard to ignore. You did try to ignore it so that is good. You can feel proud of yourself for that. I'm sorry it's going to cause some friction on your team but it is what it is, right? You're not screwing up. You're just trying to survive the best way you can and to heal the best way you can. HUGS Kit

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