[prof_x]

I've been entertaining the idea of relapsing more and more. I haven't cut since last May. Life's been pretty hectic rn though I have refrained for awhile.

I have alternatives when I want to cut but I need help targeting the need to relapse specifically. Anyone have tips on working thru self harm thoughts? I can stop myself from acting on it but the thoughts still remain... thanks

[DechanDawa]

Well, I think if you don't act on it you are doing really well because you are saying the thought is there but you are in control. That's how I took suicidal ideation (thoughts) off the table. For awhile - no thoughts - it was great. Then they came back. But I just don't entertain them. They are boring guests in my house so I am not going to feed them and entertain them, get it? You can do this, I am sure. As for coping techniques I guess that's personal and we all have to find our own best techniques.

[prof_x]

Congratulations on your own progress. That is true. One.of my favorite Buddhist proverbs goes a little bit like "Allow emotions and thoughts into your home but dont invite them for a cup of tea" I always try to remind myself of it when I'm down

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by prof_x

Congratulations on your own progress. That is true. One.of my favorite Buddhist proverbs goes a little bit like "Allow emotions and thoughts into your home but dont invite them for a cup of tea" I always try to remind myself of it when I'm down

Hmm. I have heard the opposite. I was told to yes, invite your demons for tea. But some people can't do this. Some people can't befriend negative emotions. As well, I think that is for very advanced practitioners. As for me I was just never strong enough to have tea parties with my demons!

I went on a Zen retreat and they taught that it all depends. Sometimes we are strong enough to allow our emotions to be there with us cuddling up on the sofa. Other times we are not so strong so they taught us to imagine having a strong iron wall around you to keep the thoughts out.

I often don't like the iron wall so instead I do a "bubble" where I can "see" the thoughts and and emotions but they can't come into my personal space.

Believe me, I know it is tough. It is especially tough once a thought gets in but I think once they know you are boss you can stay in charge. Vigilance! Vigilance! (That's how I quit smoking. I was just vigilant and determined to stay in charge. I had smoking thoughts for a year but finally they got bored and went away and they never came back. )