Scared of my peace of mind - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 11-26-2018, 01:05 PM #1
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Default Scared of my peace of mind

I've been married 2 1/2 years and I've always believed in keeping things fresh, of course. I never want my husband to want or need for anything, or to ever be able to say how it used to be. Near the beginning of our relationship, about 4, 5 years ago, I had my heart on my sleeve, I was sensitive about a lot of things... Nowadays, I feel I've been dealing better with who i am and what i want sexually. Yeah, i have bouts of depression, but at 24 (I'm 24 now) I've found true love and adequacy in myself. Lately I have had an incredible peace of mind, almost scarey. Its not much I care about, and im way past having my feelings hurt or being sensitive or jealous. I've found peace in my own satisfactory. Because of this, I've been slowly wanting to explore 1 thing at a time, nothing too major (i don't think). But I know my appetite and im scared of always wanting more. I dont want to get lost in the thrill and excited of it all and end up with regrets. Or what if its my husband who gets caught up and wants more of something and I want to stop...?
I, MYSELF am saying, its ok to experiment with this and that, but no further that. SHE, this other side of me, wants go beyond that. I'm scared and frustrated because I know what I want, but i also know what i need, and it may not be this.

Im probably not even making since right now...
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Old 11-29-2018, 12:44 PM #2
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I'm sorry you have yet to receive any replies to this post. I don't know that there is much of anything I can offer with regard to it. However, since no one else has replied, I decided I would. Certainly the incredible peace of mind you talk about is something to be treasured. (At least I would think so.) Hold onto it for as long as possible! Beyond that, I think your sexuality-related concerns essentially boil down to communications. Having the ability to be open & honest in a relationship is important. (You probably didn't need me to tell you that.) And, the more you & your hubby can talk about the things you're trying, the greater the likelihood it will all turn out well.

Here are links to 6 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of communication within relationships, the first by DocJohn:

9 Steps to Better Communication Today

Marriage Communication: How Does It Work?

Communication Pitfalls & Pointers for Couples; Psych Central

Attention Couples: Becoming a Skilled Listener and Effective Speaker

Improving Communication in Relationships

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-ways...dium=popular17

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Old 11-29-2018, 01:23 PM #3
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Default Re: Scared of my peace of mind

((((Menotshe)))) I'm sorry you're struggling. I think it's ok to try out new things though. Just keep yourself in check, and maybe ask your husband if he can help you with this? I'm sure he'll be glad to help you. Be proud of yourself and of how things are going, it sounds like you've made a lot of progress.
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Old 11-29-2018, 06:52 PM #4
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Default Re: Scared of my peace of mind

Thanks everybody!!! . You're all so much help. I Suck (with a capital S if you didn't notice) at venting and voicing my problems face to face. Probably why i choose to go on forums instead. No one, not even those i hold closest to me knows what i go through, and that makes me feel very alone. But i just couldn't imagine saying these things to them. I know they wouldn't judge me, but i can't see them understanding. I know I'll have to do it one day.
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:21 AM #5
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Default Re: Scared of my peace of mind

What kinds of things does SHE want? Do you think they're too kinky for your husband to understand or enjoy as well?

It's hard to be with somebody who doesn't have the same libido as us but we make it work because they're good in so many other ways, right? Maybe you can have an open and honest discussion about this with him. You might be pleasantly surprised at his response
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