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Member Since May 2019
Location: Greensboro NC
Posts: 52
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#1
I'm having a lot of sex with strangers I meet online. I am now spending all of my free time talking to or having sex with men. It's gotten worse consistently over the last couple months. I've even slept with two men in the same day twice. I suffered a bruised cervix during my last encounter and almost had sex later that day. The only thing that stopped me was excruciating pain. It's been three days and I'm still in horrible pain.....yet I can't take another day without sex. I'm supposed to see my weekender later today. I don't know if I can stop myself. I have an appointment with a gynecologist tomarrow. WHAT the hell have I become....... and how the hell do I become myself again.
I've recently left a 20 year abusive marriage. I'm hoping this is the cause and that there is hope for me.😭 |
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littlebro, Luke42, Lydiamarilyn
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Luke42, Skeezyks
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#2
I'm sorry you are struggling with this. Here are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help. The first article provides links to a number of additional articles on the subject:
Symptoms of Sexual Addiction How are Female Sex Addicts Different from Males? __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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FearandLoathing40, giddykitty
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#3
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bizi, FearandLoathing40
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FearandLoathing40
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Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Planet Earth
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#4
Quote:
That being said, what makes you think the 20 year abusive relationship is the cause to your hypersexuality? If you want to share of course, answering the question might involve disclosing personal details. So i'd understand not wanting to. |
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FearandLoathing40, I love my husband
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Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: at home
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#5
I want sex all the time too. I love it I love everything about it. I want it all day everyday. When I can't have it with someone I just well just me if that makes sense.
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bizi, FearandLoathing40
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FearandLoathing40
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Elder
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#6
I am a female sex addict. I was never having sex every day, due to having family curve my time. It has been tough in early recovery. But I went to a 12 step meeting and found people that were laughing at and smiling. And still able to survive. And eventually have sex again.
I have not seen that but I have been celibate for 1 year and almost a month. It does get a little easier but the desire may still be there. |
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bizi
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FearandLoathing40
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Greensboro NC
Posts: 52
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#7
Quote:
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bizi
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Greensboro NC
Posts: 52
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#8
Today makes 7 days without sex!! I have still been sexting pretty much non-stop, and making dates, but not showing for them. One day I was in my car and actually turned around and went home. I go to the clinic this afternoon to get checked out for STDs. I have deleted certain people which was super smart, but has given me extreme anxiety. I feel relatively stable. Trying to gear up for the weekend, I will need to be strong. I already have several dates made ☹️
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bizi
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Greensboro NC
Posts: 52
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#9
Thank you so much for the articles. I read them and even followed links from them to other articles. There seem to be many possible reasons for my behavior. I'm taking it one day at a time like any other addiction and making progress. Thanks again for your advice and educational articles!
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Elder
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#10
Another thing I have learned, is taking care of my own physical, and emotional health, ie self care. Self care really does make a difference. Not only to help protect yourself, but to help address the underlying reasons for your behavior. Like you said take it one day at a time and learn to relax instead of being anxious. Anxiety is expected as you detox from the behavior. It does get a little easier.
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FearandLoathing40
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Greensboro NC
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#11
I made it 17 days...... I've been with 3 guys in week 😭
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Elder
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#12
You had a lapse. Don't make it into a full relapse! Tell yourself that you can be in recovery! Soberity takes time. I had many lapses but this time feels different.
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FearandLoathing40
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FearandLoathing40
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#13
perhaps it is not the action of sex, but the thoughts associated to the action that needs more examination. here are my thoughts on this topic. studies have indicated psychedelic drugs have a property about them that aids in smoking cessation. nicitine addiction is similar to being in a state of seeking sexual arousal as i imagine you know. both activities, smoking and having sex, can be enjoyable if done in moderation, but have very real health risks attached. sometimes when your mind is opened up, like on a psychedelic or meditative state you can change your outlook.
you could also try to work out at the gym. just pick healthy sex partners. don't become ill. |
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FearandLoathing40
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Greensboro NC
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#14
It's been 14 days since my last encounter. I'm trying to be positive, but I fear the only thing that has stopped me is a long menstrual cycle. I have been staying awake for hours at night sexting and continue to schedule hookups. I cancel when I realize my period hasn't stopped in the morning. The last three people that I slept with were people I've been with before. My plan is to keep 3 fwb and not involve any new partners. I don't know how good of a plan that is, but the anticipation about being ready is overwhelming and it feels good to be prepared.?
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
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#15
At the end you added a question mark. That to me is significant. Does it mean that you are questioning what you are doing?
Have you tried to seek out non-sexual relationships? For some when we give up sex with many people, we find life. An abundance of better days. That's what I have found and I haven't been with anyone in 13 months. If you have questions you can pm me or write here. I have no issues with answering questions. |
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FearandLoathing40
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FearandLoathing40
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Greensboro NC
Posts: 52
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#16
I wish I could hate sex. I've had sex every other day. I really feel like it's an addiction. I'm consumed with it. I want constant attention. I was texting 8 guys at the same time today....
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Member
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#17
I'm in a phase where all I want is sex too. The thing I find is I'm looking it a lot.
__________________ I'm the biggest loser in the world. |
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FearandLoathing40
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FearandLoathing40
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Greensboro NC
Posts: 52
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#18
It's back with a vengeance
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Member
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: USA
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#19
Hi. This is an issue I deal with periodically. My sense is that I might be bipolar. I got into some big trouble a few years ago with this. I had a really bad depression and then following that I had just an insane sex drive. I skipped out work a bunch of days just to masturbate. I had a same-sex affair with a female friend and then I hooked up with a bunch of guys from Tinder, sometimes without condoms. I went on a six month sexual rampage. My husband kicked me out during this time frame and we nearly got divorced. I was lucky I was able to work it out with him when I came to my senses again. I wrecked a friendship and created a lot of awkwardness with some common friends. It took a long time for my husband to trust me again, but I think we are now at a point where he does. I can't ever cheat on him again though. He won't put it with it ever again. I've been taking an antidepressant that seems to help with depression for the most part, but occasionally I feel that mega high sex drive and it really concerns me. My biggest fear is that I'll get totally out of control like that again and completely wreck my life. I've been working on being more social. I feel like staying connected to other people keeps me in reality. I notice if I'm socially isolated I lose objectivity and that eventually leads to me doing dumb, impulsive stuff like I did before. I'm not so comfortable talking about my hypersexuality issues with my friends though. I'm afraid I'll make them feel uncomfortable or I'll do something inappropriate.
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FearandLoathing40
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FearandLoathing40
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Greensboro NC
Posts: 52
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#20
I can relate to isolating making it worse. I actually leave my phone in the car when I go in the house to keep off for awhile. Until I'm about to burst and go get it
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