advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
bluejay79
Newly Joined
bluejay79 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2019
Location: New York
Posts: 1
3 yr Member
Default Nov 25, 2019 at 05:22 PM
  #1
Hello,

My boyfriend recently admitted to a porn addiction. This came out after I saw his YouTube search history, in which I saw he was watching videos of young girls (some pre-pubescent) in bathing suits, or doing gymnastics, etc. I confronted him, he admitted to masturbating to these videos and having a porn addiction.

I'm spiraling right now, as porn addiction is one thing, but masturbating to videos of pre-pubescent girls seems to be a completely separate issue. He insists he hasn't watched anything that would be considered 'child pornography' (these videos on their own wouldn't be considered pornography).

He also insists that he doesn't have any urges around children, but he is clearly sexually aroused if he was masturbating to these videos. We are currently in couples counseling and each in individual therapy. But I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't talk to my family or friends about this. Am I crazy to stay with this man who has masturbated and fantasized about young girls? He has said he has stopped looking at porn, videos of young girls and other materials to masturbate to. He's attending sexual compulsives anonymous meetings. He's doing all the right things, but my gut tells me this is not OK.
bluejay79 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Skeezyks

advertisement
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Nov 25, 2019 at 07:27 PM
  #2
Hello bluejay: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. The Relationships forum, here on PC, may also be of interest to you. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

And then here are links to 8 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that provide information for partners of sex addicts:

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Navigating a Relationship with a Sex Addict

When You Are the Partner of a Sex Addict, Part 1

When You Are the Partner of a Sex Addict, Part 2

FAQs for Partners of Sex Addicts

https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping...sex-addiction/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-stag...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex-a...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-12...s-in-recovery/

Here are links to 3 articles that may be of interest to your bf as well as you:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex/2...church-part-1/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex/2...church-part-2/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex/2...church-part-3/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 25, 2019 at 10:35 PM
  #3
I would not tolerate the pre-pubescent masturbation. That is not normal and it may be an addiction or not but its illegal and sick. I forget the statistics but some child porn viewers escalate the obsession into the real world- as in viewing children in the real world and sometimes grooming them. Was he using your internet connection? If he was then his tracks are on your isp.

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
FluffyPuppy
Member
 
FluffyPuppy's Avatar
FluffyPuppy I'm a lover, Not a fighter.
 
Member Since: Nov 2019
Location: Michigan
Posts: 34
3 yr Member
41 hugs
given
Default Nov 26, 2019 at 04:04 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluejay79 View Post
Hello,

My boyfriend recently admitted to a porn addiction. This came out after I saw his YouTube search history, in which I saw he was watching videos of young girls (some pre-pubescent) in bathing suits, or doing gymnastics, etc. I confronted him, he admitted to masturbating to these videos and having a porn addiction.

I'm spiraling right now, as porn addiction is one thing, but masturbating to videos of pre-pubescent girls seems to be a completely separate issue. He insists he hasn't watched anything that would be considered 'child pornography' (these videos on their own wouldn't be considered pornography).

He also insists that he doesn't have any urges around children, but he is clearly sexually aroused if he was masturbating to these videos. We are currently in couples counseling and each in individual therapy. But I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't talk to my family or friends about this. Am I crazy to stay with this man who has masturbated and fantasized about young girls? He has said he has stopped looking at porn, videos of young girls and other materials to masturbate to. He's attending sexual compulsives anonymous meetings. He's doing all the right things, but my gut tells me this is not OK.
The awful thing about porn addiction is that overtime you seek out harder and harder content. If he's getting off to anything with someone under legal age that's extremely troublesome and can eventually get him label a sex offender.

See if you can install the software covenant eyes on his pc and phones, it sends partners frequent screenshots of screen activity and it will show any pornographic links he visits. I recently started a 30 day trial and will probably continue to use it.

I don't have a porn addiction but I do relapse watching sometimes when I'm lonely. Also, check out organizations like fight the new drug.

covenanteyes .com
fightthenewdrug .org
FluffyPuppy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:57 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.