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MyBrainisAmess
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Exclamation Mar 12, 2020 at 05:30 PM
  #1
I have had a diaper fetish for as long as i can remember and I hate it so bad that it lead to depression and suicidal thoughts when I was around 17-18. I have been trying to get rid of it but I can't, I seriously need help, I don't know how my mind works anymore, I've hated this so much that I recently did not think about anything diaper fetish related for about a MONTH, and after a month it just came into my head slowly and slowly bringing me back to this stupid fetish I would gladly give up my life for if it becomes a problem, I don't even wear diapers I just have these stupid thoughts of girls in diapers and weird things like that, and when it has a full hold on me, I start mas***bating to it then when im done I realize what I'm doing and feel so much regret, literally a MONTH WASTED. I hate this, I wanna stop, I don't want this, Please help, I don't know what I should do, Counselling didnt help, I use herbal medications that enhances my logical thinking which was the main reason why I was successful at not thinking about it for a month and also used pills that would make my p**is less sensitive. I don't know what more I can do. I have been trying to give this up for about 4 years, I'm 20 now. If it's a good time to fix myself, it's now or never. Thankyou for reading.. and please reply.. I need all the feedback possible.
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Yaowen
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Default Mar 13, 2020 at 12:08 PM
  #2
Hi MyBrainisAmess,

As someone with fetishes myself, I can really, really identify with the ordeal you are struggling against. I think it is only people who are going through the same or similar things that can understand how distressing these things can be.

Please do not think that I am saying that my situation is the same as yours. I would not want to trespass on the absolute uniqueness of your experience in any way.

I hope you will realize that you are a million times more than this fetish even though it consumes so much of your time and energy. In your life you have done millions of strong, wise and good things. Millions. It is the totality of your life that defines you and not just one part.

Embarrassing fetishes are not the worst thing in the world. There have been a couple of men in the last 100 years who have caused the deaths of tens of millions of people through forced genocide. Think of Stalin, Hitler and others. You have NOT caused the deaths of tens of millions of people or millions of people or hundreds of thousands of people or thousands of people or hundreds of people and so on.

So you are far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away from being a bad person.

Sometimes depression or an anxiety disorder can cause fetishes or contribute to them. There are medical treatments that sometimes help.

I realize that you are all alone with your fetish but you are not all alone in having unwelcome fetishes. Millions of people from around the world struggle with these. I am one of these too.

You say that counselling has not helped you. Perhaps you have not found a good, kind, understanding and helpful counselor and one that can treat you with wisdom and compassion. Sometimes it can help to try to find a different counselor.

I am not trying to tell you what to do or what you should do. Believe me. I am not a physician or medical professional or any kind and so no one can or should rely on anything I write here.

Dealing with an unwelcome and distressing fetish is very difficult and so I think you are very heroic and I admire you. It takes greatness of character to deal with a fetish. I think you are a person of substance and stature.

Since my English is not very good, I hope I have not said anything that has made you feel worse. If so, I hope you will forgive me. I know from sad personal experience how very distressing and demoralizing it can be to be consumed by a fetish, so my heart goes out to you!

I hope you will get many responses to your post and better ones than mine.

I want to thank for sharing your situation. It helps me and will help so many people from around the world struggling against unwelcome fetishes, thoughts and feelings. So I am very grateful to you.

I wish you only good things! -- Yaowen
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Smile Mar 13, 2020 at 04:21 PM
  #3
Hello MyBrainisAmess: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central. The OCD forum, here on PC, may also be one that will be of interest to you. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/ocd-a...chotillomania/

I'm not a mental health professional. However, in reading your post, it occurs to me your struggle may have more to do with what is referred to as Pure OCD than it does with sexual addiction. So here are links to 6 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subjects of OCD & Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy. I'm also including a link to an article by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. on the subject of masturbation:

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) | Psych Central

Pure Obsessional OCD

ERP Therapy: A Good Choice for Treating OCD

Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy for OCD

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/fearl...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/fearl...rder-part-2-2/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/is-mas...n-bad-for-you/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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Default Mar 13, 2020 at 04:44 PM
  #4
Hi MyBrainisAmess,

Welcome to psych. I really do not know much about this kind of thing as I've never had something like that happen to me.

Although when I don't get something I want for so long (e.g sexytime) I lose my mind. I obsess over it to a severely unhealthy degree. It ruins my relationships and makes me resentful and so on.

The crazy thing is, when it actually happens, it is nowhere near up to what my expectations were. In fact it can be downright dull and boring at times.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is... maybe it isn't all your mind is making it out to be. Maybe you think that's what you want because it's almost unachievable. Like a forbidden fruit, as such.

I also am in no way an expert, but I hope you manage to find comfort in PsychCentral, as these guys have helped me through some tough times in the past.

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