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Old 12-22-2009, 04:23 PM #11
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Default Re: Welcome to Sexual Addictions forum

I am a 40 y.o. married, male, sex addict and also suffer from severe anxiety. I see and have seen a female therapist for a couple years now. As a man and a sex addict it is very easy to be triggered or want to act out, I am also an exhibitionist.
Here is what I am having trouble with. Recently I saw my therapist panties when she got into her chair for session, she often sits curled up in it and always wears dresses and skirts. This is about the 5th time I have seen them or up her dress in recent months. 3 weeks ago she leaned forward and I could see one of her nipples as her blouse and bra came forward. I told her as I have told her in the past when I can see her panties. She said I must be mistaken. I assure you I am not. As an addict who finds her attractive I look for these things. I know when I see them. Well last week I accidently took a whole Viagra before our session with all my morning anxiety and depression meds. I just wasnt thinking and I am new to having them. During session I became aroused and told her such because we were having a frank discussion about sex and the trouble I have had climaxing. (The reason I have Viagra is because the SSRI drugs reduced my ability to ejaculate at all and I was told this would help). I noticed several times that she was glancing over at my clearly visible arousal in my shorts. This just made me worse as an exhibitionist (and yes she knows I am, I have always been very open and honest). I actively began to move my erection with my arm as I tried to hide it but just again made it worse. Finally after about 15 minutes I suggested that maybe I should masturbate as I had not climaxed but had sex several times over the previous couple weeks and was very frustrated combined with the working Viagra and still changing cycle of meds I take. She suggested I cover my self with a pillow and go to the restroom to try. I didnt want to risk that so I asked if I could in her office, she agreed that would be safer and got up to leave. As she was leaving I was so aroused and into it I pulled my erection from my shorts and began before she left the office. She stopped at the door to get something, turned back and took a long look at my genitalia in my hand and then left. I did not climax because I thought she was angry or was going to fire me as a client for my behavior. She returned about 5 minutes later and knocked, asked if I was ok. I said there was no success and she came in and we finished the session. I sincerely apologized for my behavior and she said it was ok. Never once did she get mad, seem upset or scared. Is it just me or do I see several red flags in her bahavior? I ask, did she possibly enjoy this or want to be a part of it? As a sex therapist she is aware I would be attempting to see up her dress or down her shirt? Is she VERY understanding having known me for so long and let it slide? Should she have ended session and sent me away or even called the police for my behavior. As far as I am concerned she allowed me to act out. Is it possible she is actually a sex addict as well and also an exhibitionist and has been in a sense taking advantage of me all this time and now is starting to act out herself towards me? We often will have a hug after a session before I leave or she will pat me on the back. I have read that is also a no-no. I have a feeling I know the answer but should I seek out a new therapist? I am getting to the point to where I am addicted to coming to see her and I think she knows it.
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Old 01-17-2010, 02:45 AM #12
Margie Saez Margie Saez is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Sexual Addictions forum

I date a guy who is a sex addict. He drives me insane asking me to do his one specific male friend while he watches and makes out with me and masturbates. He wants me to go to sex clubs and let men have sex with me while he watches and makes out with me. He sleeps around and says its ok cause he does not love me nor is in a relationship committed to me. He masturbates all the time he says and he says sexual things to friends and family i have found out. He was the high school ***** of his time. Why do i sympathize and stay with him?
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Old 04-09-2010, 09:15 AM #13
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Default Hi Anne

Welcome. I'm new too.
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Old 07-24-2010, 01:54 PM #14
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Default Re: Welcome to Sexual Addictions forum

Quote:
Originally Posted by DocJohn View Post
Sexual addiction has come out of the closet, so to speak, in recent years and now appears to be recognized as a legitimate problem some people face. In recognition of this, we've created this forum to offer a supportive place for people who grapple with sexual addiction.

Please note that if you're easily triggered or are a minor, this forum may not be for you as much of the material discussed here will be possibly triggering or of a sexual nature.

DocJohn
can any body chat with about my sex ADDITION
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Old 11-13-2010, 01:24 PM #15
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Default Re: Welcome to Sexual Addictions forum

Quote:
Originally Posted by ttlee View Post
i need help
what is the probelem?
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Old 12-13-2010, 01:25 PM #16
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Default Re: Welcome to Sexual Addictions forum

Quote:
Originally Posted by mikechaplin View Post
can any body chat with about my sex ADDITION

http://slaaonline.org/irc/cgi/


That is an awesome Sex and love addicts chatroom.
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Old 05-21-2011, 08:46 AM #17
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Help Re: Welcome to Sexual Addictions forum

to Docjohn

What would you think of the hypothesis of an sexual disorder in the Mr DSK behaving?
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Old 05-22-2011, 08:30 AM #18
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Default Re: Welcome to Sexual Addictions forum

I think I'm married to a sex addict. My husband picked up photography several years ago. Two years ago I discovered entirely by accident that he was doing nude private photo shoots. I asked he stopped. About a year later he sneaked off to a nudist resort for a photo shoot and then announced it to me in front of my sister (to hurt me). We split for a week and he came back promising nothing like this would ever happen again. I thought our trust was completely rebuilt when I discovered last week that he has maintained private nude photo shoots. Now he says he'll quit the private shoots all together in order to keep our marriage. Not only do I not believe him, I also don't believe it's my place to change him. I think people should be who they are. If that's who he is then it's up to me to decide if I want to live with it. We've been married for 15 years. I'm 10 years older than him and am going to be 50 years old next month. My hormones have gone nutso and my body is rejecting my previously younger, thinner, and more fit self. All of this is heading towards divorce and I'm not sure what I really want out of this anymore. I can't live with someone I don't trust and I will not spend the rest of my life checking up on him. I'm confused and don't know what to do ((
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Old 05-22-2011, 10:32 AM #19
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Default Re: Welcome to Sexual Addictions forum

I have often thought about this area.

I do wonder if it may be some form of just a desire for control. I can't help but think that it may very well be very similar to other things that people do to combat stress or feel some form of control

I think that when a drug taken prohibits one to climax, well that is really hard. I would suggest trying to find another drug that does not interupt in this process.

I have a feeling that some of the exibition is also a form of desire for control of some kind. Most bad behaviors are a desire for attention and some sort of control.

As far as the first question and your confusion about the therapist, well she does specialize in this area and part of that is being able to let the client express all the issues they have trouble with. I think that you are getting confused by her interactions with you. It is your perception problem, not hers. She is there to address your perception issues and concerns. No different than another therapist who allows a patient to express tears, anger, confusion and remorse. Those are all psychological emotions that are the signals given off from whatever a patient is struggling with.

A therapist cannot help you until you show all of you, not physically, but psychologically and emotionally in every expression and thought pattern.
I am sure that she has heard even seen others that express the same issues as you. She is used to it, it is something she hears and sees all the time. Her ignoring you is not because she wants to participate in it with you, she has to know all of your thoughts and struggles with it. So she can help you with it.

As far as the other questions are concerned about being involved with a person who has sexual issues. Please realize this is not a normal behavior and there are clear reasons for it. Yes your feelings of another person not really changing or getting a real handle on it are correct. When someone has a psychological issue and you notice it, well they will just have it somewhere else, not around you.

What that person really needs is a therapist that can help them understand why they do it or feel a need to do it. There is always a reason.

People handle stress in many different ways. It is a lack of control in some way. Trying to find some kind of control. And it can go all the way back to their early years or even some sort of perception issue within their brain function. It is best handled by a professional period.

For the person who does have an issue with this, the first place you can start is learning to admit it and then get help to address it. It may not be as bad as you think. It may be something that you can very well over come and be a happier person.

I do not have an issue with this but I have met people in my life that do have issues. I have also taken medications that interfere with being able to find that end realease. So, I stopped the medication.

Get help with your issue, and if you are with someone, then either ask them to get help with it or stop your relationship with them altogether.
You have to think about your own mental health.
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Old 06-01-2011, 12:07 PM #20
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Default Re: Welcome to Sexual Addictions forum

You consider sex disgusting, filthy and dirty? In my case I believe sex is amazing and great, it can be use for good purposes and connection and creation, but, in my case I use it to destroy myself and diminishes my quality of life and creates distress...

Arie

Quote:
Originally Posted by lonelyperson92 View Post
I need help, please look at the newest thread.

I want to get rid of this addiction because for me, it's disgusting, filthy and dirty.

Please help me.
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