Why do I feel like I'm not allowed sex?

Oct 16, 2011 at 06:23 AM

I had a strange feeling since I have spoken to my boyfriend about sex. I feel like I'm not allowed to have sex. I'm too ugly or I don't have the "perfect" body. I wish I felt normal. I can't really explain the feeling. It feels like guilt too. I'm worried I might not even feel anything while I have it, IF I do have it. Has anyone had this feeling? :S

objtrbit · Oct 22, 2011 at 07:12 AM

Hi there happycheeks,

there are two things that I would suspect imediately, but how did the conversation with your boyfriend go? It left you feeling ____?
You said you've been feeling this ever since the talk?

I have these feelings too-sometimes I don't even feel like I'm human;

Take care,
-obj

Oct 22, 2011 at 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by objtrbit

Hi there happycheeks,

there are two things that I would suspect imediately, but how did the conversation with your boyfriend go? It left you feeling ____?
You said you've been feeling this ever since the talk?

I have these feelings too-sometimes I don't even feel like I'm human;

Take care,
-obj

Yeah I have felt like this since I spoke to him. One of the reasons I might be feeling like this is that he is far away and I feel jealous I can't have it because I'm far away from him. Another reason, I believe only good looking people can have it. But I guess everyone can have it. I don't feel human too. I say to people, I feel like an alien.

ivory_benz · Oct 22, 2011 at 07:44 PM

hun, you dont have to feel like an alien. feel like an angel.

Everyone can have sex of course but have you thought that theres a chance you might be feeling this way cause your asexual? just a thought.

Oct 22, 2011 at 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ivory_benz

hun, you dont have to feel like an alien. feel like an angel.

Everyone can have sex of course but have you thought that theres a chance you might be feeling this way cause your asexual? just a thought.

asexual is when you don't fancy both sexes? But I do love my boyfriend so that makes me straight.

. I'm kinda confused. Sorry

ivory_benz · Oct 22, 2011 at 09:29 PM

asexual is where you dont desire sex or an attraction to either sex.

dont be confused. keep loving your boyfriend and at the end of the day, Im sure, everything will just be okay.

objtrbit · Oct 24, 2011 at 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happycheeks

Yeah I have felt like this since I spoke to him. One of the reasons I might be feeling like this is that he is far away and I feel jealous I can't have it because I'm far away from him. Another reason, I believe only good looking people can have it. But I guess everyone can have it. I don't feel human too. I say to people, I feel like an alien.

Hi there;

I'll try and see if I can help you break this down any so you can understand yourself better-

What did your boyfriend say during your talk about sex? When he get's back, or when you two meet up again-do you feel that this person would be suportive, or did he say something that didn't help the way you already feel-your dislike of your body or the way you feel inhuman or like an alien?

I know for me, no one told me directly, but somewhere in my childhood I was made to feel inhuman. I'm wondering how your boyfriend handled the sex talk;

Take care,
-obj

Oct 24, 2011 at 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by objtrbit

Hi there;

I'll try and see if I can help you break this down any so you can understand yourself better-

What did your boyfriend say during your talk about sex? When he get's back, or when you two meet up again-do you feel that this person would be suportive, or did he say something that didn't help the way you already feel-your dislike of your body or the way you feel inhuman or like an alien?

I know for me, no one told me directly, but somewhere in my childhood I was made to feel inhuman. I'm wondering how your boyfriend handled the sex talk;

Take care,
-obj

We would talk about what we do to each other during sex. He is supportive and I think I am beautiful. It's my fault, I feel like this. It's like I'm feeling guilt or something

objtrbit · Oct 24, 2011 at 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happycheeks

We would talk about what we do to each other during sex. He is supportive and I think I am beautiful. It's my fault, I feel like this. It's like I'm feeling guilt or something

Somehow I doubt that it is truly your fault that you feel like this...I have to wonder; what is your association to sex? Have you ever had sex before, or ever had a bad sexual experience?

I know this stuff is confusing, hang in there yo;
Take care,
-obj

Oct 24, 2011 at 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by objtrbit

Somehow I doubt that it is truly your fault that you feel like this...I have to wonder; what is your association to sex? Have you ever had sex before, or ever had a bad sexual experience?

I know this stuff is confusing, hang in there yo;
Take care,
-obj

I haven't had it. I just feel bad over it.

eskielover · Oct 24, 2011 at 05:37 PM

Maybe you still hold onto the wonderful value that sex is for marriage. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way either & not get pressured into it before that point. Maybe if you get to the point that you have a boyfriend & you both know that you love each other to the point of marriage, then you will feel differently about sex.

Unfortunately too many feel that sex is just nothing more than a recreactional thing, but there are deep emotions that are tied to it & don't let anyone lie to you that it isn't. Those deep emotions are there to bring 2 people together closer in their marriage & for sharing those deep emotional parts of themselves together.....it's not just something to do for the fun of it & take away the true deeper meaning that belongs to what God created sex for.

Oct 25, 2011 at 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eskielover

Maybe you still hold onto the wonderful value that sex is for marriage. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way either & not get pressured into it before that point. Maybe if you get to the point that you have a boyfriend & you both know that you love each other to the point of marriage, then you will feel differently about sex.

Unfortunately too many feel that sex is just nothing more than a recreactional thing, but there are deep emotions that are tied to it & don't let anyone lie to you that it isn't. Those deep emotions are there to bring 2 people together closer in their marriage & for sharing those deep emotional parts of themselves together.....it's not just something to do for the fun of it & take away the true deeper meaning that belongs to what God created sex for.

You are right. I do believe that sex is for marriage and to bring a couple together. It grosses me out when someone else talks about having sex. So many people these days just abuse sex. It's for a special reason. Sex is much better when it's with someone I love. Is sex just for making babies? I heard from a christian, it could be.

.

Typo · Oct 25, 2011 at 07:58 AM

Sex means different things for different people. What matters is you feeling comfortable with your sexuality and your choices you make about sex. I waited until I felt comfortable with someone, felt safe, and felt cared about. I wasn't in love with my bf when we had sex, but I felt comfortable and cared about and I am happy my virginity went to him and nobody else. For me personally I didn't want to wait till marriage, but it's okay if that is your choice. Sex is more than just a physical act it's an emotional one too, something a lot of people forget. You need to be emotionally ready as well as comfortable. Whatever you choose will be what is best for you. If you are having issues talk to a T, I had to become very comfortable with myself and work through some past traumas before I was ok with sex and my sexuality. Wishing you the best happycheeks.

CantExplain · Nov 03, 2011 at 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I had a strange feeling since I have spoken to my boyfriend about sex. I feel like I'm not allowed to have sex. I'm too ugly or I don't have the "perfect" body. I wish I felt normal. I can't really explain the feeling. It feels like guilt too. I'm worried I might not even feel anything while I have it, IF I do have it. Has anyone had this feeling? :S

How do you feel about yourself otherwise? Could this be part of a more general lack of confidence?

Nov 04, 2011 at 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

How do you feel about yourself otherwise? Could this be part of a more general lack of confidence?

I do think I'm not good looking. As I watch you know, I think to myself only good looking women have sex. But my boyfriend told me I am beautiful and he would want to you know with me. He's not using me. We both agreed on this but the bad thing is that I don't feel great and good looking.

thefascinatedone · Nov 08, 2011 at 02:07 PM

Is there any particular reason why you feel bad/guilty about it or held yourself responsible?
You should know that it is not your fault in any way.

Nov 08, 2011 at 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thefascinatedone

Is there any particular reason why you feel bad/guilty about it or held yourself responsible?
You should know that it is not your fault in any way.

because I might not be not good looking to have sex

CantExplain · Nov 12, 2011 at 03:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I do think I'm not good looking. As I watch you know, I think to myself only good looking women have sex. But my boyfriend told me I am beautiful and he would want to you know with me. He's not using me. We both agreed on this but the bad thing is that I don't feel great and good looking.

1. Sex is for everyone, not just "good looking" people.

2. Why don't you believe your boyfriend when he says you are beautiful?

3. If he wants to make love to you, doesn't that prove you are beautiful?

Yoda · Nov 12, 2011 at 04:01 AM

Do you have a birth control method? Very important.

Nov 12, 2011 at 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

1. Sex is for everyone, not just "good looking" people.

2. Why don't you believe your boyfriend when he says you are beautiful?

3. If he wants to make love to you, doesn't that prove you are beautiful?

I do think I am pretty. If he says he wants make love to me it doesn't mean to prove I am beautiful. I am already beautiful.

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Anonymous33070 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 16, 2011 at 06:23 AM #1 I had a strange feeling since I have spoken to my boyfriend about sex. I feel like I'm not allowed to have sex. I'm too ugly or I don't have the "perfect" body. I wish I felt normal. I can't really explain the feeling. It feels like guilt too. I'm worried I might not even feel anything while I have it, IF I do have it. Has anyone had this feeling? :S
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objtrbit Member Member Since Aug 2010 Location: Florida Posts: 328 13 4 hugs given	Oct 22, 2011 at 07:12 AM #2 Hi there happycheeks, there are two things that I would suspect imediately, but how did the conversation with your boyfriend go? It left you feeling ____? You said you've been feeling this ever since the talk? I have these feelings too-sometimes I don't even feel like I'm human; Take care, -obj
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ivory_benz Junior Member Member Since Oct 2011 Location: Canada Posts: 14 12	Oct 22, 2011 at 07:44 PM #4 hun, you dont have to feel like an alien. feel like an angel. Everyone can have sex of course but have you thought that theres a chance you might be feeling this way cause your asexual? just a thought.
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ivory_benz Junior Member Member Since Oct 2011 Location: Canada Posts: 14 12	Oct 22, 2011 at 09:29 PM #6 asexual is where you dont desire sex or an attraction to either sex. dont be confused. keep loving your boyfriend and at the end of the day, Im sure, everything will just be okay.
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thefascinatedone Junior Member Member Since Nov 2011 Posts: 10 12	Nov 08, 2011 at 02:07 PM #16 Is there any particular reason why you feel bad/guilty about it or held yourself responsible? You should know that it is not your fault in any way.
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Yoda who reads this, anyway? Member Since Oct 2006 Location: Appalachia Posts: 9,968 17	Nov 12, 2011 at 04:01 AM #19 Do you have a birth control method? Very important. __________________ The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous
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