Asexuality has destroyed my life

I am a 29 year old male who does not experience sexual attraction in the usual way. I form emotional attachments to females (that is to say, that I am hetero-romantic) but do not experience the drive to persue sexual relationships as normal people would. There is simply nothing about men or women that turns me on. Though I enjoy masturbation, I do not think about sex, only love.
I desperately want to experience a normal sexual urge because I so want to be able to love someone properly and give them sexual pleasure as well as myself. People have often said that if I were to explain my problem to the woman in question, they may understand and a sexual compromise could be reached but I can guarentee from past experience that nobody understands my problem if explained to them. A relationship is impossible.
Others have said that perhaps an asexual relationship is the answer but asexuals are so rare that that is not going to happen and in any event, that is not good enough for me as I seek the desire for sex as the satisfactory communicator of love.
I have been to counsellors time without number and none of them have had the slightest idea what I am talking about, as I fear no one here will either. It recently dawned on me that there is, in fact, no solution to my situation. The only thing I can do is try to cope with it, which means that my life is never going to improve to a level which makes me happy. Without a cure, I am finished. Does anybody know what I mean?

Have you ever heard of or joined the Asexual Visibility and Education Network? Yes, Asexuals are rare, but even though AVEN is not a dating website, it is essentially a lot of eggs in one basket and many people have found relationships, got married etc from meeting on AVEN. With regards to your statement: "and in any event, that is not good enough for me as I seek the desire for sex as the satisfactory communicator of love", an asexual relationship does not have to be sexless and you might find that an asexual partner is willing to experiment or go slow with you if you wanted that part of a relationship, without the added pressure of a sexual need.

There are a handful of asexuals on these boards, myself included, so you are not alone there. Right now it sounds like you are pretty depressed and it's the depression talking, which I don't blame you for. You never know what might happen in the future. Things could work out in some way, or you could find peace with yourself. Hang in there.

My god Salvador, that is an utter disaster. I don't know what you can do but I can say that I have met some asexuals online who appeared to be very happy so there is reason to think that there is hope. I think you may have two options:

1. Solve the asexuality by getting rid of whatever is causing you to lose your arousal around women. It's possible that you have very intense anxiety, perhaps which is impeding your sex drive???

2. Change how you think or feel about love.

Have you ever considered placing a personal ad? I suspect there are some women out there who may also be asexual or have intimacy issues who would be interested in entering into a relationship with you. Since personal ads are anonymous, you could be as specific as you need to be about what you're looking for.

Hi Salvador,
I'm sorry to hear you are so down about all this. Lots of hugs!
I consider myself asexual too, and at times I feel like it has 'destroyed my life'. I really want to find a (male) partner for myself (female), but it feels like all the men I meet want sex very badly . . . I can assure you, that for some very woman you will be exactly what she wants!
You talk about a cure . . . I think you know there isn't one. I also know that's a really annoying response, because I've wanted to "cure" other problems and I really hated it when people said that to me. Sometimes it's possible to cope with a problem so well, though, that you feel cured.
There are lots of ways to "have sex" outside of coitus - even though my culture (and I presume yours) tell us that is the pinnacle of intimacy and relationships. Maybe one day, you'll find a method of sexual relationships that work the best for you, if you decide that's what you want.
I don't know but I wish you all the best.

Like the others who have responded I'm in the same boat. I'm in my mid-twenties and have never had much (if any) interest in intimacy. It doesn't bother me, but it does seem to bother other people (they think it's not normal)...why don't you have a boyfriend... why haven't you done this and why haven't you done that. Meh I say. If something ever eventuates it'll eventuate. I'm sure you'll eventually sort things out, no worries or rush