Porn was the norm, now that its gone our sex life is awful

Lily2 · Apr 25, 2012 at 08:05 AM

For about 10 years adult movies served as foreplay, arousing both of us. About 6 months ago our arguing became very hurtful....my husband told me i was old, lost my looks and called me a variety of fat names. Knowing there was some truth to his words, i became very self-conscious & my self esteem took a nosedive. About a month ago i decided no more videos. Now instead of becoming aroused, i would become sad & know that my husband desired these other women & i was just there & handy but not DESIRED. Now we lay next to each other like strangers who arent sexually interested in each other. It hurts my feelings. I dont know how to fix it.
~im still pretty, & shapely, just 20-30 lbs extra

Scotty204 · Apr 25, 2012 at 09:07 AM

I've heard similar stories over the years and one thing I hear often is how porn ruined relationships. You may need to see a therapist to try and repair the damage caused here

Helpmegetbetter · Apr 26, 2012 at 11:04 PM

Hmm, I think part of the problem lies with your husband desiring the people in the video themselves. When I have asked others about their habits when it comes to porn, they usually state that while watching, they still keep an image of their current boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife (unless they are single). Instead of imagining being with the person on the film, they are using the porn to help with the mental images of being with their partner.

Try speaking with a therapist about this. He should not be treating you as such but this may be signs of more issues in the relationship than what is apparent.
Have you tried sitting down and just talking with him about the whole matter? It might also be some stresses going on in his work or something that may be distressing him and making him lash out a bit. If so, what did he say and how did you interpret what he said?

I'm sorry you're having to go through this, I hope you find the help you need and are able to work through this.

CantExplain · Apr 28, 2012 at 11:29 PM

((Lily))

It sounds like you are punishing your husband but in doing that you are punishing yourself.

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Scotty204 Member Member Since Feb 2012 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 403 12	Apr 25, 2012 at 09:07 AM #2 I've heard similar stories over the years and one thing I hear often is how porn ruined relationships. You may need to see a therapist to try and repair the damage caused here __________________ Life is short so enjoy it!
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CantExplain Big Poppa Member Since Oct 2011 Location: New Zealand Posts: 19,616 (SuperPoster!) 12 19.7k hugs given	Apr 28, 2012 at 11:29 PM #4 ((Lily)) It sounds like you are punishing your husband but in doing that you are punishing yourself. __________________ Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
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