private parts

I don't like that part of me down there. Sometimes I think it is the root of all evil and it would be better if I didn't have a hole there. I figure the only good things that come from it are babies and the ability to make love to someone.

I don't consider down there are part of me. I think it's a flaw and the worst part of me. The thought of touching myself sickens me and fingers there are a turn off, along with giviing and receiving oral. The only way for me to be ok with either is to go numb so I don't think or feel anything and it can be done and over with as quickly as possible. Nothing bothers me if I don't think about it.

I don't like looking at penises either. I don't understand how people can rave about orgasms or oral. I enjoy sex without orgasms. I don't like the idea of losing control. I tend to feel empty after having an orgasm so I never hope for it to happen.

Is any of this bad or make me abnormal? I think this is just how I am. As a little kid, I never liked people touching me or anyone giving me hugs. I'm ok for the most part now with stuff like that. When I first learned about oral, it sounded disgusting and didn't make sense to me why anyone would do it. I never planned on sex or marriage but I always knew I wanted kids. I was prepared to adopt, get a surrogate or use a sperm donor and IVF. Whenever I'd think about myself in the future, I would see myself with kids but they never ask where their father is and I never wonder why my husband hasn't come home for dinner.

I've found someone I'm comfortable with and knows how I am. My "issues" with genitals depress him. Is it really a big deal that I feel this way about things?

Most men feel quite insecure about their penis. And your bf knowing that your not a of fan of his genitals and that you don't wish for him to give you an orgasm might be very hard for him to understand. Especially as in todays society sex and pleasing your partner in bed is all magazins and tv talk about, it's perceived to be normal for a woman to crave orgasms etc. Your bf may feel that it's him that isn't sexually attractive to you. Maybe some couples counseling would help you both