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Member
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Poland
Posts: 81
12 |
May 03, 2012 at 12:05 PM
#1
I've been sexually abused and harrased and recently I met this guy. He's very considerate, he doesn't take anything for granted and really asked me for permission for this and that. I didn't tell him anything, though I mentioned not being a virgin and I actually behave like one, you know, ashamed, reluctant, anxious. It's so bloody stressful, especially that I turned out to be submissive. I let him hold my hands above my head and crush my wrists and do some squeezing. I do have bruises but it was all consentual. My feelings are all over the place. He would hate me if he knew. He would think he reminded me of the abusers. I feel bad for letting him
 spank me cos my parents abused me physically. So I don't really deserve a nice guy.
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Member
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 257
12 1,105 hugs
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May 03, 2012 at 01:03 PM
#2
#1 I just noticed in your sig that it says no hugs or q's about therapy. And I did both on another one of your posts. So I apologize for that.
#2 I can relate, unfortunatly. I was raped, but stayed with the guy and let him do it again. Whats worse is that I had concentual sex with him twice as well, and was submissive too. My t says I was in survival mode. Maybe once it went sexual, you transitioned into surival mode too? #3 This does not mean that you don't deserve a nice guy. #4 If you care about this guy, you need to tell him what happened. At the very least tell him how this encounter made you feel. #5 I'm so sorry all this has happened to you. tc |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 1,957
12 411 hugs
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May 04, 2012 at 06:23 PM
#3
Bathony, I can nearly guarantee you that if this guy is as considerate as you say he is, this will not alter his perception of you one bit. He would certainly not hate you if he knew. At worst, I would suspect that he ask (perhaps not literally ask, but seek your approval at least) a little more than he seems to currently do now with these types of things.
If you're comfortable doing what you do with him, then that's that. If not, be it due to it reminding you of what you went through or anything like that whatsoever, then you have every right in the world to alter your activities with him, and if he cares, he'll understand. I don't think he's going to be angry at you, and I don't think he's going to think you let him remind you of the abusers...and even if he did, I certainly don't think you let him do it on purpose. I rather feel like I'm rambling in the above paragraph...if I need to clarify anything, please ask. As for you, I would tell you everyone, man or woman, deserves a good partner, and deserves to be happy. __________________ The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
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