Please. I really need help. I'm feeling really sad.

Hey. First, sorry for the big text, I really need help. When I was a younger (11/12) I was really curious and I had just discovered what sex meant and I started searching for it. I watched for one or two weeks all kind of sex: straight, gay, lesbian, hentai, women and men pictures, erotic tales, etc. I naturally passed this phase and since then I just watch straight ****, or lesbian.I lived my life normally. My sexuality never bothered me. The problem started some months ago when my father told me he thinks i'm gay. And then it's like a confusion in my mind. I'm a boy and I'm 16. After this I started making some tests whith myself. I started watching lesbian **** and this really excites me. Another things happened too, once my friend ( girl) sat on my lap and i got excited. The same happens when i think about having sex with my teacher (woman), or when a girl touches my legs. I try to imagine myself with men, all the ways I can imagine but I never get horny and when I do the same with girls I do get horny.
I visited gay sites too, again and i can't stand looking that, i keep asking myself " is this my future??" sometimes i even want to cry but i never got/get horny seeing guys naked in the lockers and in the videos. But sometimes I think I want to watch gay ****, maybe to keep proving myself I'm not gay.. And the same thing happens : i open, keep looking and it doesn't get hard and when i try ************ watching those things I can't keep for more then seconds and i run to close the internet window and then i feel dirty because the images don't leave my mind. So, what's happening to me? This is messing with my life, i can't sleep well, when i go to school i keep thinking i'm attracted to everybody and I'm tired of this, sometimes i even cry when thinking about having sex with men and living with men, because I never thought this way before. I just want to live the same way I was living. I love to hug girls, i get embarrassed when I'm close to beautiful girls and I'm really shy, I have always been fat and suffered from bullying and I notice a lot other boys (how they dress, how they look like and their behavior) I have never been the kind of boy that calls girl's attention. I don't want to be gay ( I have nothing against, I have gay friends), and I cant even ********** anymore because I don't get horny, i never imagined having sex with men, and when I try to force it, it's weird because always appears a girl in my thoughts, but now i keep thinking about having sex with everybody. And I don't get excited. So it's this, i hope you can help me because my mind is a mess. And it's really serious, I won't be able to continue taking my life this way, and if I'm gay I would prefer to die, because for me it's sad to think that I'll never have a girlfriend, never call her pretty, and never get married. I think I will suffer with men. Please, I'm really desperate. I see some boys in my school and I really want to be them since they seem to be secure about their sexuality, I can't stand being myself anymore. I watched guys with big dicks ******* girls, does it make me gay? I really notice other guys bodies and everything gets mixed in my head.
When my father told me that, he destroyed me and I feel blamed and dirty because I watched gay **** once in my life. I never felt this way before he told me that. But i want your help to forget all these things. Can you help me?

I can't even see any men that I start thinking I'm gay and I'm attracted to them. Do you think these thoughts will leave me sometime? AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GO TROUGH THESE THINGS? I'm feeling depressed. And it's worse when I want to sleep because it seems that everything comes to haunt me. I never had gay dreams before, and after my dad told me that I had one, not envolving myself, but I didn't wake up horny. And I never had dreams kissing boys. When I'm happy and I remember the gay images I get sad, like if I were marked forever. Please, I really need help, maybe to develop and increase my security. People always called me gay because I have never been the kind of guy who is womanizer (I never kissed anyone), who likes to play soccer and all these things, it seems that this "gay thing" always followed me and my dad have already insinuated other times before during all my childhood. If I get horny with girls why am I feeling gay? Please, help me, I just want to be happy again and live in peace, and want to have a girlfriend.

Thanks, sorry for the big text.

Being gay is something you either are or aren't, IMO. It's not something you choose to do, nor is it something you can "test" for. I would tell you if women are sexually arousing to you and men aren't, you likely are heterosexual.

The porn thing is simply a matter of you discovering it and...sowing your wild oats, I would say. It's not definitive of you.

You are what you are. Who needs a label? If girls do it for you great, if not, great. I know this sounds corny but it is true, you be you. Concentrate on what you want.

Do you want to be with girls? Think about this, you have two choices a room full of nude women and a room full of nude men, the men or woman in each room must do what you tell them to, which room would you chose? Forget about everything other than the nude women or men in the room. What is your choice? If you choose the women, you are not gay.

Just because you have not had the best luck with women, does not mean you are gay. Your sexuality is between you and who ever you choose to share it with. I do not know how I will handle my boys sexual orientation. I like to think that I will love and accept them for what ever they choose. You should also tell your dad that he has caused problems for you with his comment and ask him not to do it again.

I would love to have 4 girls at one time, just because I have never been that lucky does not change the fact that given the chance I would. Given the chance to be with a girl, would you? Be proud of who you are, you are who you are for a reason.