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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2011
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#1
I was wondering this question is more for the ladies out there, but men of course can chime in as well...... have any of you ever faked it ( having an orgasm ) ????? Just to please your mate..... I myself have faked it many times , just so my partner would be happy..... As much as I am very intune with my body, I find it very hard to tell my partner what it would take to get me to full orgasm.... ( I have to have a lot of outside stimulation..... Any thoughts or suggestions....
Last edited by mommyof2girls; May 20, 2012 at 04:06 AM.. |
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#2
A thought... it really shouldn't be that hard for a man to tell when you're faking it but then he may not really care that you're faking it
A suggestion... tell him what you like One more suggestion... if you only want female input, post in the women's section. I have another thought too but I think I'll keep it to myself. |
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mommyof2girls
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Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: Land of Stumps and Dismay
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#3
I really think that people should communicate in a relationship. If he's not getting you off and he doesn't know it, he can't change it. You don't necessarily have to tell him outright that he's not doing the job because you are right, that'll probably hurt his feelings, but perhaps you can encourage him to 'do new things' with you that you know you'll like more, or if the pair of you are still active in the solo department you could tell him that you discovered something you liked and you'd enjoy sharing that with him. Slowly you could train him to do things that are more likely to excite you.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA
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#4
Never been in the position (sigh...no pun intended ) to have to fake it. Even if I had been, I'm a guy, so...I don't know I've ever heard of a man faking. :/
I do agree with George though, particularly the bit about communication. lol I do confess a healthy curiosity as to how he wouldn't know you were faking it as well. __________________ The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2012
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#5
My partner has admitted on a different forum that she faked it the first night we had sex. I was being nosey, looking at what she'd been saying as I was feeling slightly insecure at the time. Before then I'd always held that as one of the best nights, sexually, I'd ever had. It really hurt my confidence and still plays on my mind now. Does she ever have real orgasms? Are they all fake? I know I shouldn't have read it in the first place, but knowing has really hurt me.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 1,957
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#6
^ I wouldn't worry much about it Rob. It WAS your first night together. Speaking purely on the physical aspect, you couldn't have known what she liked and didn't without either talking about it extensively or practice, at least as I understand things. I'm sure she values the emotional aspect of your first night together just as much as you do.
__________________ The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2012
Location: Midwest
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#7
Yes, what Harley47 said. I am a woman. I know she values you and the emotional closeness of that night more than an orgasm. She was so happy and felt so loved that she did not care to ruin the moment by saying she didn't come. And sometimes women get so highly aroused that they CAN'T come. Please don't feel bad. Most women fake it at some point or points, and it doesn't really mean anything to us except that we want our partner to feel as happy as we feel.
__________________ My life resembles something that has not occurred. I am a birdcage without any bird. E.E. Cummings |
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Member
Member Since Nov 2012
Location: Uk
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#8
I disagree, I have never faked it. I don't see the point in doing so. Sex can be enjoyable without the big O, although I am generally lucky enough to achieve one or sometimes more. Communication is the key, and being totally at ease with each other.
There shouldn't be any need to fake it, and if it doesn't happen, why not just enjoy the ride ? ( pun intended ! ) |
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hamster-bamster, kindachaotic
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Pirate Goddess
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
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#9
I have faked it, usually because I wasn't in the mood but wanted to make my boyfriend happy, or I just wanted to get it over with. However, I learned that by doing that, he isn't getting the info he needs to please me, so he continues to think what he does is the right thing. One time, he was rubbing me hard and fast with his fingers, and it was chafing me, yet I held my tongue! I didn't want to hurt his feelings. You've got to communicate and tell him what you like.
I personally do need that orgasm. I like getting aroused, but I want the payoff. I've never been so highly aroused that I couldn't come. I've lost the mood before, but not gotten over-aroused. I've never heard of such a thing. __________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights Last edited by Maven; Dec 09, 2012 at 03:36 AM.. Reason: I've got chocolate. Nyah, nyah, nyah!!! |
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Account Suspended
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
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#10
No, I have never faked it. I hate to disappoint my partners, but I have to honestly say that I cannot come, period. I see no point in faking.
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: Virginia
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#11
I don't fake it. There is no use. It is like rewarding the wrong kind of behavior. You are only reinforcing the wrong thing. I have had the feeling of almost "O" get to that point and fade. When you have a good thing going for Christ sake DON 'T CHANGE it. Unless you are told to. For me personally if the feeling fades you can forget it but it is long gone.
Since the meds killed my sex drive, Oral and "O"'s have taken on a whole new meaning and I didn't want to hurt my H's feeling but he deserved to know that nothing he tried was going to make it happen. But sometimes it is all about the ride not the final destination. Enjoy the ride cause if you can't cum it's all your gonna get. It ain't so bad. But some times safely skipping the meds is SOOOOO worth it . |
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smiling musical soul
Member Since Mar 2010
Location: Indy
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#12
I thoroughly enjoy sex but can almost never fully relax enough with a partner to My hubby has accomplished this twice in 5 years. Because I enjoy sex so much he has no clue that I don't get off every time. I would never hurt his feelings and tell him the truth because he would see it as a failure on his part.
Incidentally he went through a phase of faking it until I called him out on it. For about the first two years we were together we'd have sex 4-10 times per day. Unfortunately I broke my toy and he can no longer perform at that pace But he'd try to fake it and when I got him to talk to me about it he said "Woman it just isn't possible for me to cum every time we do it or I'd be shooting dust!" I had never really thought about that but I guess they only produce so much and.... We had a good laugh about it but he's the only guy I've known that's ever faked it. |
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Pirate Goddess
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
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#13
As sex experts will tell you, it is possible for men to fake it, and they often do if they're tired and just want to get it over with. I'd wager more men don't fake it, but yes, some do.
__________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights |
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who reads this, anyway?
Member Since Oct 2006
Location: Appalachia
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#14
I was often multi-orgasmic with my BF but there were times when I was tired and knew I had to be up for work in a short time and yes, I sometimes did fake it because it was important to him to satisfy me. He didn't understand that sometimes sex is still good even without the big O and I didn't want to make a big deal of it.
__________________ The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: Virginia
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#15
OMG your toy died. That is horrible. When my friend dies I have to go out and find a new friend. I've made some new and interesting friends.
Shootin blanks bad idea, so is spraying dust. My poor H his has most likely turned to dust for lack of use. Not a priority for me. It ain't really dust. On the plus side if you don't give it out real often you don't have to fake because it don't take long, (not for my H anyway) |
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Raindropvampire
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Indianapolis, IN
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#16
I think the key to good sex is honesty and openess (+ love/lust/sexual desire). And also figuring out what you find enjoyable. My wife likes to use a vibrating egg to stimulate her clit as we are having sex. She usually has 2to or 3the big orgasms that way. I would know if she was faking because her vaginal muscles contract and sometimes she squirts. She also makes this sound I can't describe when everything done there is super sensitive.
I would try and find out what works for you. Exploring eachothers sexualty can be a very amazing experience. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2012
Posts: 585
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#17
Nope, don't ever fake it...DOn't need the egg either, though sounds like fun...
Well, maybe a couple of times years years ago, but the pill totally takes away my abilities...very good birth control. |
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#18
I certainly do pretend that I am having more fun than I am actually having, some of the time, anyway.
I also make sure that i make sounds when she is doing something really well so that she continues with that It's just non-verbal encouragement. |
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Upwards and Onwards!
Member Since Mar 2010
Location: Kent, UK
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#19
I have faked it, but only a handful of times. Usually to not hurt his feelings, but to get him to stop. This will be because I just can't get fully aroused, or because the friction is physically hurting me.
I don't fake it any more - I tell me partner that I just am not going to be able to orgasm this time, and he understands __________________ "I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2013
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#20
I've faked it a million times in the past in an effort to spare feelings, but I cannot get away with faking it for my spouse, and luckily I don't have to.
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