Can lack of sex drive me crazy?

I am 20 and a virgin. I have been craving sex since I was 10. I have been nonstop thinking about it all these years. I just feel I need it. As I have progressed in life, I have just become more and more sexually frustrated, and am frankly just sick of masturbating. I masturbate about three times a day, and it only leaves me feeling empty and hollow each and every time. I've been through two years of college now and still nothing. The thought that I might never have sex scares me and just makes me feel gloomy. The urges that plague me are so intense, and I find myself touching my penis just out of impulse. The bad part is, I have no way of satisfying these overwhelming urges and desires. I have never had a girlfriend, and don't see that happening any time soon. I really want a meaningful relationship, but I also want sex. I just don't know how much longer I can handle these unsatisfied urges before I snap.

You don't give us any idea why you have not had sex; with the limited info you provided all I can suggest is online sights that promote match making for sexual relationships with no strings attached. Just be careful of the situations you place yourself in. Semi public locations are going to be more safe than meeting someone at a house. By semi public I mean a hotel.

Actually, I suggest that you bring up this important issue with a therapist or your personal doctor as soon as you can. I'm not sure that having sex with a person will be sufficient even. Frankly, after masturbating very frequently for a long time, it's possible you might be premature in your orgasm. And most women don't want to be used as objects to just satisfy someone else. It might be that you're heading toward sexual addiction without some professional aid, IMHO. Can you distract yourself? Are you involved in porno? If so, then stop that! (I've always heard about cold showers, but someone else will have to speak about whether they work!)

I know there are those "just sex" sites, but if you want a decent relationship later in, then I'm not sure that's the approach to take. My personal ethics make me cringe at the very idea.

Not to make light of your high sex drive, but I dare say a fair number of us here are now having the opposite problem, with these medications we have to take that cut down on drive and/or make it difficult to get going.....

I’m almost in the same boat as you verbatim: I’m 19 ½, second year in college, never had a real meaningful relationship, been thinking about sex since elementary, masturbate at least once a day out of sheer boredom, and I’ve been watching porn since I was 16. The only difference is that the urges aren’t nearly as strong, but they are always there. I’m always fantasizing about sex, and I’ve noticed that with porn that over the years I have been going further hardcore as to what I watch and fantasize about, but I don’t think it has or will ruin sex for me.

I’ve really thought about why I cannot find a partner and it’s because I want it to be meaningful. I have met an extraordinarily beautiful woman that I had the hots for and she got drunk and wanted to have sex with me and I said no. I wanted my first time to be sober and true feelings of love. What I want from sex is love. I don’t want sex just to have sex. I want lots of it, but I want it to be with someone I am in love with. I am someone who constantly craves physical touch, and I am always touching myself and other people and still sleep with stuffed animals because I need the physical contact.

Ask yourself what do you want out of sex? I think about having wild and crazy sex and wonder how much I can do IRL compared to porn (I know it’s not the same), but really, it’s because I want to be so madly in love that I want to explore that person and make that person happy. So for me, I want sex to mean love and I am waiting until I am in love before having sex. I know it’s so frustrating to not be able to find that one person, but trust me, the wait is worth it and I wouldn’t want to waste my first time on someone who is drunk (or me being drunk and not remembering what it was like!)

As for the other people wondering what is wrong with you for having such a high sex drive…NOTHING! Not everyone who is on medications has low sex drives, but that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you because you have a normal sex drive. Guys tend to have higher sex drives than women, but I think there is something more going on with you than just wanting to get it over with. I think you are waiting for a reason, and that is a very good, normal thing.

And for pleasuring yourself? Experiment! I've used toys and there are alot of toys out there for men too. I know they have toys designed to have the same feel as the inside of a vagina or mouth and dildos work on guys too and personally I think that feels best, but idk how guys secretly feel about that type of submission. When I get bored with myself I just take myself to the next level...although I do come down from that and feel even lonelier...but at least we are not alone. Best of luck.

Trigger: This is a hilarious scene from Austin Powers and I have the song on my ipod and I listen to it sometimes to make light of how lonely I feel.

So I wanted to share this video because I don't want you to be too hard on yourself or be ashamed of your sex drive...just let your sexy freak flag fly

The song is "I Touch Myself" by The Divinyls and the clip is Mike Myers dancing for Dr. Evil's sexy robot women:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNkQVoE1rC8

DrSkipper, I have found your description of how you sleep with stuffed animals very touching, no pun intended.

...should I be offended or should I take that as a compliment?

rolan, I agree that you're really wanting something special, which was another reason why I don't think you should just go out and find the first willing woman. Our society seems to emphasize sex so much these days, which doesn't help. TV show after TV show makes such a big deal about it.
A 20-year-old virgin is not anything bad. And not abnormal or wrong. I think it's something to be proud of in this day and age.

Mind you, as an old married lady , I can't say I haven't found sex special. I am glad that I waited--and my husband did, too. It meant a great deal to me to have a man who had waited, and we could learn together.

I know that men think more about sex than women. But there are other aspects to life, too. I just don't want you to get on the slippery slope of having to find more and more new sexual things to satisfy you. Having a great sex life in marriage is what I think is the most satisfying. You get to know the person well and can practice what gives pleasure--and it's done out of a sense of love and sharing. Not just two bodies rubbing against each other.

Again, I encourage you to talk to a professional about it. I don't think you're particularly abnormal at the moment, but I am concerned about your future happiness. I can tell that you are miserable now, and you need an expert to offer you help and advice, IMHO. I speak as the mother of males about your age and therefore from the heart. Call me old-fashioned if you will, but I do know what I am talking about.

Also, if need be, a professional can help you with any issues about meeting women who are decent and establishing a healthy relationship with them. In the meantime, don't worry about being a virgin. Lots of young men tend to brag about things they really haven't done, anyway. If it bothers you, then you can just not let on about your "status."

Hugging a pillow can help, I think!

lol I think it was a compliment Doc. I would agree. I find your desire to wait for love admirable. I wish more women felt the same way about it.

But to answer the question, no, I don't think it would literally drive you crazy, but frustration is natural. You need to understand that quick sex isn't going to come with a meaningful relationship (usually...I speak for myself and what I know. I would be put off if my partner suggested we be intimate too soon), and that it needs to be an investment in time before both of you are willing to commit to that. Likewise, something along the lines of a "quick sex" site strikes me as dangerous, and I would imagine you would regret it down the line.

My advice? Try, hard as it is, not to worry about it. You are only 20. That is still very young. Try to focus more on meeting the right person, and the "other" parts of it tend to fall in line.

Regards,
Harley

neither, I said what I said without any pretenses or double meanings.

Thank you all for the good advice. It sucks because I want to get into a real relationship, but also have this fear that I will ALWAYS be thinking of other girls I now can't have because I am in this relationship. Like my biggest fear is feeling STUCK in a relationship. I want to feel like YES this relationship ROCKS! This is why the idea of me jumping into a relationship is hard for me. Like if I meet a girl I connect with, and I really love spending time with her and find her attractive, totally. relationship. And I don't want to have the "maybe I'm not ready for a relationship..." mentality. I'm 20. I should be ready.

I just had my heart broken by someone who lives in Russia and probably doesn't speak English. I'm not trying to go out and find someone, but I ALWAYS fall for the wrong people. It sucks.