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Ironicman
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Default Jul 19, 2012 at 08:52 PM
  #1
Hello, I'm new to these forums, but I desperately need advice, I am in a weird scenario and I don't know what to do.

Some Information on myself first:
I'm a Male
18 y/o
virgin

about 2 months ago I began dating this girl and I haven't dated anyone for over a year before that. She is not a virgin. recently we became quite serious, and almost inseparable at times. I really like her a lot and would like to lose my virginity to her. but she spent 2 months teasing me up to the point of coitus and then backing out. then today after an hour of foreplay for which (I had a stable erection for the majority of) she finally told me to get a condom. In the process of finding a condom I lost my erection and was unable to get it back up.

Although she was not upset with me and even very accepting of the fact that I got nervous I still felt very inadequate. after a while of cuddling we began fooling around again and i was able to get it up partially, but not for long before it was limp again. I don't know what to think, and this is really bugging me so any advice is greatly appreciated.

P.S. If it means anything I haven't masturbated since about a two weeks before I met her. and recently I don't feel the sexual drive to masturbate and I no longer wake up with erections in the morning very often.

I just keep wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I have been trying to convince her to take the next step with me for a couple weeks now, and then she finally does and I can't do it.
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bamapsych
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Default Jul 20, 2012 at 10:00 AM
  #2
Have one available and ready to put on before you fool around or cuddle or anything. When both of you are ready to have sex during the foreplay, then hurry and put the condom on. since you are probably inexperienced with this, you both may need to continue the stimulation process while you are putting it on correctly. My ex used to take so much time putting one on and then I'd loose my urge. So we would each stimulate ourselves while he put the condom on so that we would both stay ready to have sex
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Ironicman
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Default Jul 20, 2012 at 11:09 AM
  #3
I thought that might be the issue, but it happened again yesterday, this time i hurried as fast as I could to put one on while i still had it up and even tried to stimulate myself for a bit, but by the time it was on I could had lost my urge and couldn't regain my urge either.
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bamapsych
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Default Jul 20, 2012 at 11:57 AM
  #4
Maybe its an anxiety issue. Do u get nervous in anticipation that its about to happen? Losing your virginity is a big deal. I was always too nervous and then one day it "just happened." dont try to force yourself into having sex, but let it happen naturally.
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Harley47
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Default Jul 21, 2012 at 01:30 AM
  #5
It sounds a lot like you're nervous, which is an easy way to lose "the mood." The more persistent your anxiety about it is (meaning you're nervous even out of sexual situations), the more reduced your sex drive is going to be, I would suspect.

Just relax. Let it happen as it happens. Nothing at all is "wrong" with you. You're just nervous, is all. Losing your virginity is often viewed as a major milestone. Anxiety is natural.

Once you become more comfortable with this girl, I think your problem should cease.

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The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte
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Ironicman
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Default Jul 21, 2012 at 11:40 AM
  #6
yes I believe it is because I am nervous, but I feel very comfortable with her. and every time it happens i feel a little more anxiety. I don't know how to quell this anxiety. I have trouble "just relaxing" when the time comes
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Big Mama
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Default Jul 21, 2012 at 07:34 PM
  #7
As a married person this happens to us girls to. Sometime the build up is just to darn long (not that anyone is complaining) but when the real moment arises nothing seems to work. That goes for girls and guys. Foreplay is important but don't over do it. The lead up can kill the effectiveness of the "parts" if you know what I mean. Fore play, have some fun, it's time, keep it simple. It's worth a try.

Certinly sounds like nerves as well. Talk to your lady about it. Being a vergin is not so bad you know. Your lady has an advantage over you it may seem but she can also mold YOU into what she wants more easily then someone who's been around the block a few times. Definiately talk to her. Find alternitives to finish the job though. Toys tounges what ever. It's no fun to go home stressed.
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unaluna
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Default Jul 21, 2012 at 08:35 PM
  #8
buy yourself a box of condoms and practice putting them on when you're by yourself, so that when the time comes with her, you're not mr butterfingers?
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Default Jul 21, 2012 at 08:45 PM
  #9
execellent idea. The concept is simple. They are quite tricky.
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