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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: Quad Cities, USA
Posts: 6
11 |
Jul 31, 2012 at 01:47 PM
#1
I started having sex when I was 14. It was my first time and with my husband to be who is still my husband some 47 years later. We used pornography, fantasies, and even others throughout our sex life. My husband started to feel bad about this some 5 years ago and thus stopped any extra-curricular activity in the sexual arena. I find that I cannot have an orgasm any longer, nor do I feel inclined to have sex with him anymore unless we can use the things we used to use. I do not want to have sex with anyone else. Consequently, we have gone 2 years without having sex together. When we do have sex, I will usually get him off and go to sleep frustrated. He masturbates and seems to prefer that anyway. I will masturbate but will have to use pornography or fantasies in order to orgasm. We started out wrong and now I cannot seem to just want him as we have always had something or someone else with us in the sexual equation. Needless to say, I am frustrated.
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Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 346
12 66 hugs
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Aug 01, 2012 at 12:22 AM
#2
Hi Heart111
Maybe it may be a good idea for both of you to see together a sex therapist to help resolve your sexual difficulties together. Communication is the key as well as guidance/help from the therapist so you can both enjoy from having sex with each other without necessarily the need for pornography. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 1,957
12 411 hugs
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Aug 01, 2012 at 03:50 AM
#3
I agree with Purple Heart. Communication is absolutely vital in situations like this.
Have you asked him why the sudden shift occurred, or told him how you feel? Does he understand your frustration? Strange as it may sound to you, he may not be aware there is an issue. If he's content and you haven't given him reason to think anything is wrong, he's going to assume all is well (not to put this on you though, not at all  ).
__________________ The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
(SuperPoster!)
17 550 hugs
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Aug 01, 2012 at 10:23 AM
#4
Yes, habits can do that. I would first see my doctor, make sure my thyroid, etc. are firing on most cylinders, then I would find a 1970's book or two by a female, there were two or three women whose names I can't remember (maybe Jane Thomas and her book, Ways Women Orgasm), that taught women how to orgasm and I'd experiment, sort of start over?
__________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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