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anthony81
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Posts: 137
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#1
Hi group!
I admit I've been watching really raunchy adult films since I was a teenager and well into adulthood. Do you think this negatively affects potential success in real-world relationships and dating? For example... I see the couples in the adult films doing certain 'dirty' positions that seem to feel really good for them. And just watching them is sooo arousing to me that I want to be in the scene so badly. But... when trying to convince a girl in real life to do that they are always like ewww thats nasty and gross. (you know what type of sex Im referring to) So why does it feel so good in porn but in real life a girl doesnt like it? Do I risk scaring a girl away if I ask her to act out a scene with me? Isnt sex just as pleasurable for the girl as for us? So why are they so against sex if it is a source of great pleasure for both? Like in some of those scenes it looks like the girl is in pure ecstasy. So naturally I assume that a real girl would feel the same in bed, and not find it painful or taboo. |
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anthony81
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#2
Further.. I noticed with many partners in the past when it DOES finally get to the bedroom.. I don't seem to have the same level of arousal that I do when watching adult films.
Why is this? There was one girl in particular I knew really liked me but the magic was just not happening in the bedroom. No matter what we tried the erection could not last long and I could tell she was disappointed. Of course that relationship ended pretty quickly after that So why would a guy be able to get a Huge erection whenever watching porn but then with an actual girl he has shortcomings? Is it insecurity? And by the way it is only certain types of adult films... that usually involve the "rear" if you know what I mean. Other films do nothing for me. Then I try to act out that type of scene with an actual GF but it doesnt seem to work out in real life. |
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Yoda
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#3
For me to have 'deviant' sex requires a lot of trust in my partner. That takes time and getting to know my partner well.
__________________ The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
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whyme17
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#4
Quote:
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Yoda
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#5
__________________ The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
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anthony81
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#6
Well those girls in the porn scenes make it look so easy and pleasurable.. like they are having the best time of their life in that position! And I think its the taboo aspect of it that makes it even more enticing.
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Grand Poohbah
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#7
Movies, even adult films, are acting. Think about it...actors in other movies can make things look enjoyable, even fun and exciting...If you are not aroused in real life as you are by adult films, then you are likely showing some signs of addiction to it...
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lynn P.
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#8
I agree with regretful - these porn stars are "actors" and they're paid to look like its the greatest experience of their life. Videos are also filmed in segments because not many men can go a marathon like that. This is a big problem - men thinking this is what real women want. To be blatantly honest - rear sex is totally different for a man to receive it, than for a woman. A man's prostate gland is stimulated in rear sex but nothing for a woman.
Did you know there's a chance a man can become impotent from watching too much porn. This is what happens - as the person watches porn, they often look for more and more enticing videos with a greater level of sex. Regular sex isn't that appealing anymore and when it comes down to performing they're not aroused. Its rare you're going to find a wild one who'll be like the women in the videos - they're acting. Porn videos are made primarily for men and aren't really what a woman wants. They all end the same and this bugs the hell out of me - no woman wants to have her face and hair soaked in bodily fluids. There's also a big difference between 'making love' and having sex. Get some good books on what a woman really wants and forget about those videos. __________________ This is our little cutie Bella *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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anthony81, OneEmptyHeart, regretful
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Harley47
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#9
Lynn and regretful said it best. Even in highly extreme videos (hardcore BDSM, for example) where it seems logically impossible for a woman to enjoy what is happening, the actors and actresses are paid (how much I do not know) to give the illusion of enjoyment. I've heard, though I can't substantiate it, that some actresses are even given drugs before "performances" in order to better facilitate their "acting," or even to get through the scene.
I'd tell you you're probably in the majority of men in watching them (myself included, unfortunately, though I'm trying to cut that off), but I personally would think it unreasonable to expect most women to be okay with doing 99% of what you'd see online. A lot of it is objectifying and (IMO) frankly wrong. In regards to what you're talking about, I don't think most women are going to find it enjoyable, and if done without proper preparation, you can risk perforation of the colon, which is a serious, serious medical condition that can lead to sepsis and, if untreated, death. To be fair, you'd have to ignore a LOT of common sense in that particular scenario to manage that, but it's a possibility. The way it's typically handled in those videos is risky. I will say in fairness that I am a young man with virtually no sexual experience, and I'm speaking from conjecture and what I've heard. I just wouldn't expect "porn sex" as "norm sex." Hope I was of some help. __________________ The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte Last edited by Harley47; Aug 14, 2012 at 07:19 PM.. Reason: lol Wrong username. Not Q&A section :p |
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anthony81, lynn P.
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Member
anthony81
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#10
Thanks Harley and others for your input.
Yeah its like wow those scenes seem to violate the laws of physics sometimes as well as anatomy. I think they also use enemas and substances to keep the girls loose for the scene. I am amazed how those girls are able to normally go to the restroom again every again after getting thrust so deeply and repetitively. I always wonder where the heck do they find so many girls for doing that??! But nevertheless when a guy gets absorbed into that its a hard addiction to get rid of. Again I think its the girl's position of vulnerability that turns some guys on. So here we are trying to cure this addiction hopefully and be able to talk to normal girls and have normal sexual relations that are realistic |
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Harley47
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#11
Yeah, it's a heck of a habit to kick. I had successfully when I was dating, but when my ex...lol well, became my ex, it was easy to fall back in to. I blame the emotional duress and sudden lack of what I at one point considered a serious commitment, although in retrospect...lol silly me.
The stream of actresses isn't too hard to obtain. It's (relatively) easy to do , it pays fairly well I believe, and it doesn't require a particular skill set, for the most part. Some of the actresses aren't interested in making careers out of it, and are using it as a stepping stone, such as while paying for education or to otherwise make ends meet. I actually saw on the news a married couple that turned to producing amateur videos via webcam to pay the bills (though I would think it'd be a little different between a married couple). Either way, it's not a pretty position to be in. I try to remember that whoever she is, she is SOMEBODY'S daughter, someone's little girl. It's a sobering way to view it, and myself, being an older brother to a five year old sister, can't imagine what it'd be like to know that was what my daughter (or God please forbid my sister) doing. Swiftly kills the appeal. __________________ The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
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lynn P.
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#12
Every person is into different things, and porn is not real life, it can be fun to watch and enjoy with your partner. Most women aren't into **** because it takes some pain to get to the pleasure, also the partner needs to know what they are doing to be safe and not hurt their partner. I am into things that most people aren't but that doesnt mean everyone is in what I am into. The women in those movies are actresses, they know how to make it look like they are having pleasure even if they aren't. What you should focus on is enjoying exploring with your partner and getting to know what each other likes and doesn't like and what is a hard limit for both of you. Real sex is much different than from porn. Porn is a fantasy
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Harley47, lynn P.
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