Do I put my sexual fetish in my ad? Can someone review my ad?

Not many 19 year olds want to peg and be pegged. Not many 19 year olds have fetishes. I do.

I'm not at all innocent. I've always been the Princess by Day, Slut by Night. I've been watching porn since I was sixteen, masturbate at least once a day, I've been fingered, watched others have sex IRL, etc. and though I haven't been dating for a couple years, I am definitely not socially awkward and can hold up a conversation quite well. And I know that if I don't put this in my ad, I might as well stick to vanilla the rest of my life because that guy who wants to be pegged is going to be one in a million. And he probably isn't going to be lurking in a bookstore or a coffee shop. Age really doesn't matter.

Here's the "subtle" version:

My self-summary
I am a pansexual (they really need more orientations and genders) looking for a potential long-term relationship. Friendship and trust is invaluable, and I am in no hurry to rush into a relationship, but finding someone who shares the same wild, adventurous spirit as me is like finding a needle in a haystack—and I am searching for that needle to call my own.

About me:
" " " " ".... A relationship is more important to me than sex, but I would like to find someone as equally adventurous and open-minded as I am towards trying new things, and I do have a few kinks up my sleeve.

About you:
You are college age with your own transportation and a job or side job, especially if you live outside of Santa Rosa. You love the outdoors and love to go hiking and camping. You have an amazing sense of humor (huge turn on for me). You are confident with a good self-esteem. You are patient and in no rush to find someone. You can always think of fun things to do and love to go on adventures. Send me a message and I would like get to know more about you before sending an invite to meet.

Now with this ad, I have to go through a ****load of people I don't like and THEN see if he's in to pegging.

How do you find BDSM groups near your area? I tried fetlife but not much luck. I ended up deleting the account anyways.

I found my local community through Fetlife, I just searched the groups and my state and local groups popped up. You can just do a blanket google search with your state, and the words BDSM groups.

Compared to the second ad, it's less...I think less subtle than it is ambiguous. If I were reading it, I'm not sure I'd immediately equate a "wild, adventurous spirit" to "pegging." Granted, you do allude to it just fine, but I'm worried you might shock someone without the insider knowledge we all have.

I'll confess, I do like the change from under 30 to closer to your age, but that's more my overprotective side concerned for your safety than it is anything else. Go figure, being 19 with a 5 year old kid sister really wakes that up in you. Ultimately, if you're as comfortable with an older gentleman as you are someone your age, that's your preference.

Seeing how important this seems to be for you, it *may* be better to not beat around the bush about it and mention it outright (ie ad version 2). Cuts down a lot of what you're not looking for. As I would tell anyone else seeking more "vanilla" advice (not to call your request strange or anything like that, mind you), don't settle. If this is important to your happiness in a relationship, then I'd tell you by all means, get it. We, myself included, just want you to be safe and happy in doing so, you know?

Additionally Doc, I'm not sure I'd call you a slut by night by any means. I think that denotes a lot less of a moral sense than what I've seen you display. Perhaps adventurous fits better.

I wish I could help you more as far as support sites and the like, but it's outside my realm of experience. I'm only familiar with one such place, and I'm pretty sure it's not what you're looking for. I'm happy to help with revisions on your ad though as much as you need them, though you write well enough that I don't think I'm very much needed.

I mean, how else am I going to let people know what I'm into?

lol If you're asking me specifically how I think you should word your ad, I think the 2nd version is just fine. If it's a rhetorical question, given how important it is to you, I recommend being upfront and honest. Were it not previous knowledge (ie say for example you met someone randomly on the street tomorrow and you hit it off wonderfully), it's probably best to ease in to, like any talk about one's sexual preferences/needs/your noun here.

You'll do fine Doc. Just do be safe for us online, will you? I'm perhaps more paranoid than I should be about online dating due to my own recent...less than pleasant...experience with it, but still.

well I think better to choose from the cream of the crop than to sift from the bottom of the barrel. the last ad sounds more like a skipper i'd like to meet, and do anything for! it's subtly sexy and very intelligent, and I think that's really more along the lines of who you are. you hold your own very well here among a much older group, so hopefully this ad will appeal to a playful budding intellectual type where both your lives would be enriched. You have a lot to offer, you don't want to waste it, you want to invest in friendships and r/s that YOU value intrinsically. People you genuinely like. That's my best advice.