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Vicrenee
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Default Jan 14, 2013 at 09:41 PM
  #1
I recently found pictures of my 15 year old step daughter along with other acts I found out she is doing. We talked and she said she was pressured to do them, but she may still be doing them. How do I trust her?
Also, my views of her have changed some for the better and some worse. I can't trust her and monitor her. But I can't get the images out of my head and what she has done. I look at her sexually at times because of what she has done and other times I get mad due to what she has done. Do I tell her how this affects me. She is a very attractive girl and never had theses thoughts of her but with the sex acts and pictures I am having dreams of them and not sure what to do. I don't want her to continue this behavior and should I suggest her act them out at home with me. I don't want the boy to use this against her for more and or tell others. We have a good relationship. Very confused.
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Default Jan 15, 2013 at 10:25 PM
  #2
I hope you're a troll, because you're a sick man to want to seduce your daughter into doing things with you.
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Default Jan 15, 2013 at 10:31 PM
  #3
uhh.. I'll say, if your really worried about her, get her mother/step mother/a female person to talk to her... pplease take no action yourself, and if you are having sexual thoughts about her you need to address this quickly. I suggest distancing yourself from her.
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Harley47
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Default Jan 15, 2013 at 10:40 PM
  #4
Do not, under any circumstance suggest that she act these things out with you. That is a horrific violation of your role as her stepfather, and the simple suggestion has the possibility of ruining your relationship with her and scarring her for life. If you feel as though you might be "at risk" for her, I would beg that you do whatever it takes to prevent yourself from putting her at risk.

The best thing to do as far as her being active would be to discourage her from this, and remind her of the risk she poses to herself in the form of pregnancy, STD's, and, in her case, the possibility of the dissemination of the pictures. Give her the parental "talk." Nothing more.

My best to you both,
Harley

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The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte
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Default Jan 16, 2013 at 01:50 PM
  #5
Harley is right on.

DrSkip, no matter how much you disagree with what someone says on here, please, no attacking people. Vicrenee shared. And thank goodness for that because he/she got good advice. EVERYONE must feel welcome to share their feeling here.
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Default Jan 16, 2013 at 02:54 PM
  #6
You having sexual thoughts towards her isn't that weird. Just make sure you don't act on them and if you're concerned you will then best for you to distance yourself from her.
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Default Jan 17, 2013 at 04:17 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycanthrope View Post
You having sexual thoughts towards her isn't that weird. Just make sure you don't act on them and if you're concerned you will then best for you to distance yourself from her.
I agree - only acts matter. Your thoughts are yours to have.

OP, you write "I recently found pictures of my 15 year old step daughter along with other acts I found out she is doing. We talked and she said she was pressured to do them, but she may still be doing them. How do I trust her? "

She does not owe you reports on her sexual activity. If you advised her on the risks of pregnancy and STD's, you did your job. She might have said the thing about being pressured to do those acts in order to please you. Or she could have been afraid of you. Who knows? From your short message, without knowing the context of your relationship, it is impossible to say with confidence whether she was truthful.

But the most important thing is that you do not own her, that she is at the age at which young women used to get married in days long gone so her interest in sex is normal and you cannot control it. You can just advise/educate her in a reasonable, non-overbearing, manner, and hope for the best.
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Default Jan 17, 2013 at 09:41 PM
  #8
By the way, she is not "acting out" sexually. She is just "acting" sexually. But again, the most important thing is for you not to act out at this juncture.
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