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hamster-bamster
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#21
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hamster-bamster
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#22
We already did a lot of unprotected french kissing. What do other people do with kissing?
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hamster-bamster
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#23
It is worse than we supposed.
GP: I would ask him to get tested. We don't test males for HPV. Asymptomatic male carriers can't be determined through our current testing abilities. Genital warts are confirmed clinically. When you perform oral sex, a condom will protect you. If he performs oral sex, a dental dam will protect him. If he has a history of cold sores, he should avoid performing oral sex on you to avoid transmitting the oral herpes virus into a genital herpes outbreak. |
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Big Mama
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#24
Yikes. Don't take away my oral sex. That is not good news. I am married and have been for 18 years so we should be safe. Watch out for cold sores. Think good my H doesn't get those. You have to be a carrier of the herpies virus to have cold sores I believe.
How do you have protected french kissing. I don't picture kissing w/ condoms on our tongues. That just makes me smile. Silly. But really how do you do that asfely. |
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hamster-bamster
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#25
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I am left to hope that having been married to a medical professional in the past, the guy knows about health. |
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hamster-bamster
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#26
This is from a very reputable source, on kissing and HIV (basically safe):
http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/hiv-kissing But what about other STD's? |
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hamster-bamster
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#27
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#28
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Lynn, I applaud you for NOT being willing to enter into a relationship with a cheater. I would not be either. |
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lynn P.
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hamster-bamster
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#29
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#30
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I have no issue with you choosing to have multiple partners. My issue comes when, in that relationship, there is a partner (the one in asia) that does NOT agree with multiple partners. I have far too much respect for people to intentionally be the cause of someone else's hurt. I cannot make the choice to be the cause of someone else's pain. You apparently have no problem with that. To each their own... |
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hamster-bamster
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#31
Well, the older child in Asia is 9 and the guy was still married to the midwife when the woman in Asia (who knows the midwife very well) chose to conceive. The midwife and the guy divorced when the older child in Asia was about 2 years old (and the midwife then had a daughter with another man who in the past had a relationship with the woman in Asia). So the woman in Asia does not like his having many partners but she goes along. Usually, when people are so intent on being exclusive, they do not choose to conceive when the father is still married to someone else, right?
And amidst all that for me to all of a sudden care about what the woman in Asia feels seems utterly ridiculous. |
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#32
I don't think Lynn nor Nicole are trying to attack or criticize you Hamster. If you'll recall, I had the same reservation on one of your earlier topics (I can't recall which...I think it might've been "a really long and weird but true story"). You explained your position to me there. I still wasn't entirely sure what to make of it, but I went about my advice to you.
I don't think they're attacking you any more than I was. I think it's only a desire to understand your position and to confer the risks involved, as my reservations were. No need to go on the defense. __________________ The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
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lynn P.
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#33
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I have nothing against people who want to engage in Polygamy or Poly-Amorous relationships, as long as all parties are consenting and fine with multiple sex partners. If any partner (woman) feels cheated on, then its not fair. My point here was..... asking if this is a man who takes advantage of any partner and to say there's a risk (STD's) if he has multiple partners. Asking for an HIV test would be a good idea. Polygamy and Poly-Amorous relationships work only if, all are consenting and at peace with the multiple partner concept. When a person has sex - they're having sex with all the past partners and vice a versa. __________________ This is our little cutie Bella *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) Last edited by lynn P.; Nov 14, 2012 at 10:37 AM.. |
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hamster-bamster
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#34
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hamster-bamster
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#35
I do not think the woman in Asia has expectations of monogamy, because, as I said, she conceived - I am not sure of the appropriate preposition here - with/by/from a married man. She might want monogamy, but she clearly does not have that expectation.
I will definitely ask him to get a full battery of tests. |
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hamster-bamster
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#36
So I think I have a good idea here. I will get tested myself, give him a printout and ask to reciprocate. I am not looking forward to spending the money (I do not have health insurance) but I think that it is the most polite course of action. I will call Planned Parenthood and my GP and the midwife's clinic to compare their fees.
Sounds reasonable? |
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bighands
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#37
Multiple sex partners... Different continents... Frequent traveling... Really?
I think you are far too assuming. Like someone else already said, when you have sex with someone, you have sex with everyone they have ever had sex with. You don't know all of these people entangled in this web personally but you trust that they are only going to have sex with other clean individuals? Even if you did know everyone, who's to say that one of them isn't going to add yet another person to the web and then transmit something to you via the chain before you find out. Add to all of that the fact that Asian countries can be notorious in the sex trade and I come to the conclusion that you are playing Russian Roulette. In this complicated, multiple relationship, testing is not only costly. It's silly unless you're going to ask him to get retested prior to each time you have sex with him. Considering he and the woman in Asia could be doing ANYTHING with ANYONE between your trysts with this man testing this month is worthless after he travels and has contact somewhere else. My recommendation to you would be to forget testing but use condoms and any other physical barrier necessary to stay safe. Like I tell my kids, if communicating about sex and prevention methods is too uncomfortable, then you aren't ready to be doing the things for which these methods are necessary. |
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lynn P.
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hamster-bamster
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#38
His partner in Asia is a system administrator retraining to become a psychologist, in her 40s. How is sex trade relevant?
I do see the point in not testing, though. So I will save money on that... and buy dental dams instead. They should be much cheaper. Is sex through dental dams pleasant? |
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#39
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hamster-bamster
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#40
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