Poor men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 08:22 PM

I feel so sorry for men, and the more I think about it, the more sorry I feel.

So I am screwed up, asexual, without libido, without orgasms, but I can still engage in sex. Even without lube (amazingly, but it is the case). And with lube especially - with lube, absolutely no problem, as lube substitutes so well for sexual desire. And I do not need a prescription to buy lube, and lube has no side effects whatsoever.

If you are a man and your penis does not function, you cannot engage in sex. You can give your woman (or man) pleasure, but you cannot engage in sexual acts. Medications? They do not necessarily work and they can have side effects.

Being at the mercy of an unyielding, flaccid, disobeying penis - oh no, thanks but no thanks, I much prefer being a woman, I have always enjoyed being a girl and then a woman but these days I am simply ecstatic about it. At least something has worked out really well for me.

gabmux · Dec 11, 2012 at 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I feel so sorry for men, and the more I think about it, the more sorry I feel.

So I am screwed up, asexual, without libido, without orgasms, but I can still engage in sex. Even without lube (amazingly, but it is the case). And with lube especially - with lube, absolutely no problem, as lube substitutes so well for sexual desire. And I do not need a prescription to buy lube, and lube has no side effects whatsoever.

If you are a man and your penis does not function, you cannot engage in sex. You can give your woman (or man) pleasure, but you cannot engage in sexual acts. Medications? They do not necessarily work and they can have side effects.

Being at the mercy of an unyielding, flaccid, disobeying penis - oh no, thanks but no thanks, I much prefer being a woman, I have always enjoyed being a girl and then a woman but these days I am simply ecstatic about it. At least something has worked out really well for me.

((("SMH")))

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 08:36 PM

Sorry, despite being online a lot, I am really, really bad at acronyms. I can tell you meant something nice, but what?

lynn P. · Dec 11, 2012 at 08:47 PM

Since many threads are about your sex life, I don't think you can be termed Asexual. Asexuality is an orientation - generally they don't want or think about sex, although some will do some acts for various reasons. Just because you're having a brief hiatus with sex doesn't mean you're Asexual. A person with Asexuality wouldn't be bothered about not having sex or their ability to perform.

Quote:

An asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community; each asexual person experiences things like relationships, attraction, and arousal somewhat differently. Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people. Asexuality is distinct from celibacy or sexual abstinence, which are behaviours, while asexuality is generally considered to be a sexual orientation. Some asexuals do participate in sex, for a variety of reasons.

http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index...tle=Asexuality

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 08:52 PM

OK, so I am just without orgasms, completely without lubrication, and without arousal/drive. I think it is bad enough. But thanks for the clarification on terminology.

Harley47 · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:03 PM

Lynn is correct. Were you asexual, your sexual problems would essentially be a nonfactor, as you wouldn't really have any desire or intention of having those problems being...well, put into a position in which they'd impede you, so to speak.

That being said, your libido seems to be the problem here, not your orientation. So I don't think you're asexual...I think whatever's causing this has REALLY done a number on you, though I can only hazard guesses as to what. I'm still wary of the topamax and stress.

As for "poor us," speaking for myself, I do not envy your gender. I don't mean this immaturely or unintentionally offensive to any of our female posters, but between pregnancy, childbirth, menstruation (which scares me personally...I hate the sight of blood

)...even sexually, your first time is going to hurt due to the presence of the hymen (which, again, scares me). Firmly, I think women have the harder lot biologically speaking.

LiteraryLark · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:07 PM

SMH=Shake my head

I agree with lynn and Harley, I'd much prefer to be a man and it is not your orientation, it's your sex drive that's making you uncomfortable.

I'd say keep taking the topamax and perhaps after a few months it will get better. Also, menopause is coming up for you so perhaps age has something to do with it, though this has been happening directly after taking topamax.

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harley47

As for "poor us," speaking for myself, I do not envy your gender. I don't mean this immaturely or unintentionally offensive to any of our female posters, but between pregnancy, childbirth, menstruation (which scares me personally...I hate the sight of blood

)...even sexually, your first time is going to hurt due to the presence of the hymen (which, again, scares me). Firmly, I think women have the harder lot biologically speaking.

I have to agree with you, excepting myself. My periods have never been particularly painful or copious, my labors have always been fast (painful, but fast - done in a few hours from beginning to end, via natural birth), on Mirena IUD I have no menstruation whatsoever, I have never had PMS, I have never had a hymen to the best of my knowledge - in short, I have been spared. During my pregnancies, I felt great. I did not have postpartum depressions. I breastfed with ease, for 8 years total. I enjoyed childbirth, and especially the last one which was completely med-free at home. So I can say that I have enjoyed all aspects of being a woman.

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:15 PM

I actually liked the smell of menstrual blood. I like having the no-mess life on Mirena IUD, but at the same time miss that sweetest smell of menstrual blood. So even that part, the blood, was loads of pleasure.

So all in all, I have loved every physical component of femininity. But especially the fact that I do NOT have a penis to worry about

. That one is just a gem.

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:16 PM

Oh, and multiple orgasms. I mean, multiple orgasms totally tip the scale in my favor. Show me a man who can do 50 orgasms in one hour, please.

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:22 PM

And, another thing... shaving. For men without beards. I think this must be just horrendous. For me, self-care is a problem (I am bipolar and problems with self-care are a typical bipolar trait - one of the longest, most viewed threads among Bipolar Success Stories is about taking a shower - what a victory!) and boy would I hate needing to shave my face daily - yikes! I do not think I could handle that. I have spent 5 grand on not needing to ever shave my legs and underarms - perhaps the same solution is available for men's faces, IDK. But at any rate, life is hard enough without daily shaving, for sure. So the lot of males without beards is hard, in my opinion.

Harley47 · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:31 PM

Shaving varies...I can go up to two weeks and grow minor stubble (which is fine with me...I'm still used to keeping myself in JROTC regulation. I hate having my hair as long as it is now), whereas a buddy of mine looks like a grizzly bear after 24 hours. So not that big of a deal.

And I'm not sure I could justify taking the possibility of multiples for everything I mentioned...like I said, blood freaks me right out. Odd...I can handle extreme amounts in games and movies (I'm a horror flick fan, and regularly play Gears of War and other gory Xbox games), but someone gets a paper cut IRL? Nope. Done. Having to deal with that fear in such an intimate area...no thank you.

And again, no offense intended for the ladies, of course. Just explaining my position.

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrSkipper

I'd say keep taking the topamax and perhaps after a few months it will get better. Also, menopause is coming up for you so perhaps age has something to do with it, though this has been happening directly after taking topamax.

No, it is not age - all my maternal relatives had late fertility including my maternal cousin's giving birth for the first time at 44 without fertility drugs and my mother's abortions after age 40, AND my mother had real trouble stopping her ovaries when they needed to be stopped due to breast cancer after she was well over 50. So I have a long way to go.

Someone who is on Topamax also told me that it would get better after a few months. It is just so hard for me to believe because I know that:

- on Risperdal, it never got better
- on Geodon, for years, it did not get better until the dose was halved.

So I find it hard to be hopeful and optimistic.

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harley47

And I'm not sure I could justify taking the possibility of multiples for everything I mentioned...like I said, blood freaks me right out. Odd...I can handle extreme amounts in games and movies (I'm a horror flick fan, and regularly play Gears of War and other gory Xbox games), but someone gets a paper cut IRL? Nope. Done. Having to deal with that fear in such an intimate area...no thank you.

And again, no offense intended for the ladies, of course. Just explaining my position.

I am exactly the opposite. I can handle real blood and at some point even began (but did not complete) training as a nurse assistant which included blood draws, no problem, but I hate gory scenes in movies. So, 180 degrees from you.

LiteraryLark · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:38 PM

Not all meds are the same, and no two persons who takes it react the same.

It's not uncommon for meds to take a while to kick in or reduce their symptoms. I'd stick it out for a while and not be scared off from it so easily. (Now it's making me nervous to bring it up to the doc.)

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrSkipper

Not all meds are the same, and no two persons who takes it react the same.

It's not uncommon for meds to take a while to kick in or reduce their symptoms. I'd stick it out for a while and not be scared off from it so easily. (Now it's making me nervous to bring it up to the doc.)

Look, 2% chance of grief - you still have a 98% chance of being OK, so worry not.

Moose on the Bipolar Board started Topamax shortly after me and she reports having orgasms. So it is just me being particularly unlucky. Hopefully you will be like Moose, not like me.

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 10:06 PM

Harley, I would choose twins over ED. Triplets would be a feeding challenge (I have two breasts only), but twins, I think, are far better than ED. I tandem-nursed my daughters who are 2 years apart, so I can say that I "almost" had twins - I nursed two children at once, and it was quite lovely. I actually miss it.

And the whole thing about functionality: female orgasms are not functional - females can procreate without orgasms, while males cannot. For some reason I feel much safer knowing that my procreative mechanism does not depend on something as finicky as orgasms. I think our "business model" is sturdier and more robust, so to speak.

hamster-bamster · Dec 11, 2012 at 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Since many threads are about your sex life, I don't think you can be termed Asexual. Asexuality is an orientation - generally they don't want or think about sex, although some will do some acts for various reasons. Just because you're having a brief hiatus with sex doesn't mean you're Asexual. A person with Asexuality wouldn't be bothered about not having sex or their ability to perform.

http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index...tle=Asexuality

You are right, Lynn: a man started talking to me in the elevator (asking why I work late and what I do etc.) and I found him attractive and got curious about him, so I think fundamentally I am OK (not asexual) and the problems I am having are temporary and a result of the stress/Topamax combo. There is light at the end of the tunnel for me. And, I am glad I confirmed online that Topamax can do it to a person because I was blaming Geodon completely without reason, and Geodon is a great medication that keeps me entirely psychosis-free. Between occasional migraines and psychosis, I will take migraines.

unaluna · Dec 12, 2012 at 12:22 AM

Not to mention women have like billions more nerve endings "down there" than men do. OTOH we also have female genital mutilation. OTOOH, there is (male) circumcision, now more or less outlawed in San Francisco.

hamster-bamster · Dec 12, 2012 at 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

Not to mention women have like billions more nerve endings "down there" than men do.

Yessss, the count is clearly in women's favor. I do not know if it is implicated in multiple orgasms or not, but at any rate I would rather very infrequently go through brief pain of childbirth but have regular multiple orgasms. And women who do not want to go through the pain of childbirth can opt out of it thanks to modern medical technology, whereas I have never heard of men opting in multiple orgasms.

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hamster-bamster Account Suspended Member Since Sep 2011 Location: Northern California Posts: 14,805 (SuperPoster!) 12 3,729 hugs given	Dec 11, 2012 at 08:36 PM #3 Sorry, despite being online a lot, I am really, really bad at acronyms. I can tell you meant something nice, but what?
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hamster-bamster Account Suspended Member Since Sep 2011 Location: Northern California Posts: 14,805 (SuperPoster!) 12 3,729 hugs given	Dec 11, 2012 at 08:52 PM #5 OK, so I am just without orgasms, completely without lubrication, and without arousal/drive. I think it is bad enough. But thanks for the clarification on terminology.
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hamster-bamster Account Suspended Member Since Sep 2011 Location: Northern California Posts: 14,805 (SuperPoster!) 12 3,729 hugs given	Dec 11, 2012 at 09:16 PM #10 Oh, and multiple orgasms. I mean, multiple orgasms totally tip the scale in my favor. Show me a man who can do 50 orgasms in one hour, please.
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LiteraryLark Crowned "The Good Witch" Member Since Jun 2009 Location: Wonderland Posts: 11,535 (SuperPoster!) 14 1,318 hugs given	Dec 11, 2012 at 09:38 PM #15 Not all meds are the same, and no two persons who takes it react the same. It's not uncommon for meds to take a while to kick in or reduce their symptoms. I'd stick it out for a while and not be scared off from it so easily. (Now it's making me nervous to bring it up to the doc.)
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,861 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.3k hugs given	Dec 12, 2012 at 12:22 AM #19 Not to mention women have like billions more nerve endings "down there" than men do. OTOH we also have female genital mutilation. OTOOH, there is (male) circumcision, now more or less outlawed in San Francisco.
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