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Old 12-21-2012, 05:16 PM #1
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Confused Is sex important? Opinions Please...

Just a question to my fellow PC members. How important is sex to you? Is it wrong if you are not having it?

Also, if you are in a relationship and you have a good time together does it require you to have sex?

I have issues with intimacy, I have been in relationships where I felt used for sex so it was never enjoyable. But now, being in my 30s, I cannot "make love". I feel sex is more enjoyable NOW when it is cheap and meaningless, therefore I can't be with my boyfriend because I truly love him. So, the two years we have been together, I have not have sex, I just take care of myself other ways on my own.

WHAT???!! I don't know what the heck happened there. It is a total contradiction I know.

I will plan on talking to my T about it on Monday.

Opinions?
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Old 12-21-2012, 06:04 PM #2
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Default Re: Is sex important? Opinions Please...

My husband and I have been together for eleven years and the importance of sex has changed. I felt compelled to have sex whenever he wanted for about the first five years, partly due to age and mostly due to insecurity. As our relationship has grown, so has our sex life. I no longer feel obligated, but we have still never gone more than a week without sex of some kind come hell or high water. I feel connected to him and I feel more secure when we have sex regularly, but I do not feel I need to provide sex out of obligation so much anymore thank goodness. Good question Platinum heart.
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Old 12-21-2012, 09:20 PM #3
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Default Re: Is sex important? Opinions Please...

I think if both people are healthy enough for sex then it should be a part of the relationship. It helps to keep the emotional intimacy in the relationship. Not just physical. I am the wife of a man that does not like to have sex so that is my perspective on it. I don't feel we have an emotional connection because of it.
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Old 12-22-2012, 01:26 AM #4
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Default Re: Is sex important? Opinions Please...

I find sex is very important for me. My husband and I have had a good sex life and I feel that it has been a powerful force that has brought us close together. Both of us have needs and desires and we have had an agreement that neither of us will deny the other unless there is a really compelling reason. There are times when I have not felt like having sex, but soon find that my desires change quickly when my passions are kindled.

Sex can be the most intimate communication between two human beings, especially when it is treated reverently and with a deep sense of love and commitment that God intended it to be
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Old 12-22-2012, 03:27 AM #5
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Default Re: Is sex important? Opinions Please...

Sex is very important to me, but my boyfriend and I haven't had it in about 12 years. It started with him losing interest (he says because of how he feels about his body, even though I told him it doesn't bother me), but then my sex drive diminished, and even though I want sex mentally and emotionally, I physically don't desire sex too much. Sex is also painful to me, and I've had several gynecologists give me several different answers, but nothing's helped.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 years, and while there are parts of our relationship that I don't feel we're connected, we do connect in other ways and we have a strong bond. I don't know if this answers your questions, but it's what I can tell you.
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Old 12-22-2012, 11:03 AM #6
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Default Re: Is sex important? Opinions Please...

i'm not in a relationship, and i've never had sex.

to me.. if i go through the remainder of my life without it- it's really no big loss to me
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Old 12-22-2012, 12:32 PM #7
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Default Re: Is sex important? Opinions Please...

A 20 second hug can increase oxytocin levels. This is a good thing. Touch goes a long way to sustaining a relationship. Sex has a lot of benefits that go beyond regular touch, but it is touch which is vital. If there is no touching at all, get a cat or dog or something. People tend to feel more free when touching animals and small children, and it is probably better not to have children around if there is no touch between the adults.
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Old 12-22-2012, 01:21 PM #8
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Default Re: Is sex important? Opinions Please...

I like it, but I don't need it. Sometimes I forget about it for weeks.
There are many ways to achieve an even temper, and sex with the right partner is one of them.
Often sex is used to express a wide range of feelings, and in many cases I think words would be more important and sustainable.
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Old 12-22-2012, 07:45 PM #9
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Default Re: Is sex important? Opinions Please...

My H and I have been married 18 years. I used to try to bring myself to have sex w/ him once a week. Now I just don't care to do it. Weeks can go by and the thought never crosses my mind. I feel like I owe it to my H, So I will be there in body but that is all. Sex is part of why people get married. Just not part of why I got married. I have intimacy issues and touch issues. I prefer no touch from people. I can pet the cat, the horse, the dog all day and it drives my H nuts. He wants to know if I love the cat more then him. The answer the cat always loves me. He always waits to see me and shows me he loves me when he does finially see me. He never yells at me, he never makes me cry, he never gets mad at me, and he always forgives. I do love my cat. I love my H to but we don't get along so well.

Sex is not everything. I try to please my H once a month, twice a month every now and again. He takes care of his needs pretty well. I take care of mine. I take care of his need w/ out sex sex sometimes. Seldom do I allow him to take care of my needs sexually. He has gotten used to almost no sex.
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Old 12-23-2012, 08:19 AM #10
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Default Re: Is sex important? Opinions Please...

I feel the same way about sex that I do about booze. I just don't get what the big deal is. Both sex and booze are fine, but if I can't have them, I don't think twice about it. I compare sex to other pleasant physical sensations like taking a hot shower and washing your hair. Nice, but nothing to rave about. I recognize that I have a naturally low sex drive, but sometimes it makes me feel so different from the rest of the world. Fortunately, hubby seems to have a pretty low drive as well.

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