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Purple Heart
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Default Jan 01, 2013 at 06:07 PM
  #1
I had new flashbacks over a month ago that I have never had before. They are disturbing to say the least. They are of a sexual nature involving my sister sexually abusing me. I have been doing a lot of inner child healing and discovered that when I was 14 I was sexually abused on a continual basis by my sister who was six years older at the time. I am male and it’s very disturbing to discover the things she did to me. She was the adult at the time and I was a child. I got a very strong message from her then that I am just as responsible for the ‘sexual encounters’. So in saying this she was trying to make me feel guilty if I tried to complain to my mother at the time.

Moreover, the nature of this abuse explains my adult sexual problems. I’ve connected the dots now. It explains why I’ve had so many problems with women in terms of enjoying sex and feeling good to be a man when with a woman. It just is very disturbing that this happened. I feel so sad for myself at this age as every other type of abuse was also done to me by the entire family also. I was in a hellish environment and had nowhere to turn since society had abandoned me.
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Default Jan 01, 2013 at 08:43 PM
  #2
I think that seeing a T may help. You need to discuss the ramifications of the abuse with a professional. Hopefully, the result will be the ability to enjoy sex more and feeling good about yourself.

It is worth a try. I wish you all the best.
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Default Jan 02, 2013 at 08:59 AM
  #3
Definiately seek T. I am in T for rape from 20+ years ago. It doesn't go away by itself. My T specializes in trauma's. She is helping me to get things out on the table, understand them, cope w/ them in terms of night mares and flashbacks along w/ panic attacks. She is helping me to we wire and stregthen my brain in certin areas so I can function better. The rape affects me sexually as well as emotionally. I do not want to be touched at all. No holding hands, no little kisses on the cheek, no nothing. It bothers my H very much because he sees no contact as no love. And not in a sexual way either.

T has not changed things as of yet it has given me a better understanding and a since of hope for the future.
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Default Jan 03, 2013 at 08:16 AM
  #4
thanks people but I do see a T and have for many years. I was told often we're revealed new trauma from our sub-conscious when our mind is strong enough to cope with it. I think that is the case with this. I am at an age and maturity that I was now ready to handle what happened to me at age 14! Thank you
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Default Jan 03, 2013 at 09:32 AM
  #5
well then your thread applies to the both of us. I have no answers to give. I get a new flash back, or a new dream or a new trigger from time to time. It leaves me shaken to the core. I have no idea how to handle it. It's like mud I guess, you just roll around in it get it all over you, live w/ it for awhile then you remember mud is good for your skin (folks do pay alot for mud facials), hop in the shower and wash it away.

We have to roll around in our issues for awhile, realize they are a good thing or atleast a path to a more clear future, then w/ T "wash them away". At least wash away the dirt. It will always leave a stain but T will at least remove the dirt.

Sorry for the strange analogy. That is the best way I can think to explain it.Hope that helps and I hope it helps simply to know you are not alone. Take care my friend.
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