I am attracted to a girl - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 01-04-2013, 12:18 AM #1
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Confused I am attracted to a girl

Doc John I hope you can help me out and guide me what i should do!
As a child i have been attracted to women.I tried to let go and not think about it but i just cant help it.
As a kid my best friend kissed on my lips just for fun and after that we use to kiss each other all the time...we were just doing it for fun so she said. We had a fight about something and after that we stopped though we are still best friends but we pretend as nothing of that sort happened. My problem started after that. I feel very attracted to someone. She is in her forties and unmarried and i am 18. For past four years i have been feeling gay about her. She gives all sorts of attention and would hug me randomly, where ever i am sitting she would pass by me intentionally and eye me.
But these past six months I was depressed and tired of waiting for a proper relationship with her. I started hating myself for what i have become and my choice. I started seeing a psychiatrist but my parents as they dont know the problem didnt let me continue the weekly sessions. About 2 months ago when i saw her..I am angry and frustrated and as she was passing by me i said i hated her to my friend...she heard what i said and after that she started ignoring me. For more than two months i didnt see her. Meanwhile i was desperately waiting where i usually sit to see her. I was ever more missed. We met thrice she tried to joke but i was pissed and didnt know what to say to her!! I dont Know how to stop thinking about her! How to stop being gay! There are very nice guys who like me and have asked me out but i denied. I dont know what to do! I have cut my myself and was about a week ago kill myself!
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Old 01-05-2013, 09:07 PM #2
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Default Re: I am attracted to a girl

Well for starters no more cutting ok. Could this 40 year old woman have a mother type draw to you. Some times mom's can see when things are not so great for others and someone is in need of a friend.

Do you know this woman's sexual preference by any chance?
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Old 01-06-2013, 01:07 AM #3
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Default Re: I am attracted to a girl

You ask how to stop being gay. Most scientists would say that's not possible. I don't think it's possible, nor do I think there's anything wrong with being gay. It can lead to problems in relationships where being gay is not accepted, but the real problem is when you can't accept yourself. There's a social group forum for LGBTQ here at PC you might join, plus there are plenty on the Internet you might also want to check out.
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Old 01-06-2013, 01:18 PM #4
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Default Re: I am attracted to a girl

I agree w/ Maven, Gay is not an issue. There is nothing wrong with being Gay. Mistaking a 40 year's olds liking of the same sex person and 20 years younger, concerns me. What is here prefrence. Even if she to is gay as well, I have concerns about someone 20 years older having a serious "relationship" w/ someone who is considerably younger.
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Old 01-08-2013, 07:58 PM #5
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Default Re: I am attracted to a girl

I agree with the others. There is nothing wrong with being gay. I'm a straight guy, but I could care less if someone is gay. I know that some guys are fearful of gay guys in the locker room with them, but again, I could care less.

Being gay is not a choice. No one would make a choice to be something that would cause them so much turmoil. Love is love, whether it is felt for someone of the opposite sex, or the same sex. I can understand why being attracted to the same sex would cause emotional turmoil. Our society is not always nice to people who are gay. But you know what? Your sexual preference is your business, no one elses.

If the woman you are attracted to does not have a romantic interest in you, you really can't make her. No more than a straight woman can make a guy attracted to them if the mutual chemistry is not there. There will be others. Its always hard to have feelings for someone who is not interested in that sort of relationship with you. There is probably a woman out there that has feelings for you and you aren't interested.

Please don't feel ashamed of yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Did you know that in some Indian tribes, gay people were considered to have special powers? We live in a society that says you grow up, get married and have 2.5 children. (how they come to that number is beyond me). You are the same person inside whether you are straight or gay. If you are a kind, compassionate person that treats others with respect, that is what matters. Not your sexual orientation. One day you will find someone and have a mutual attraction. Probably when you least expect it. Don't torture yourself with self loathing. You can't be replaced on this earth, so stop the cutting and certainly don't feel like you need to kill yourself.

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