Fem feelings, Please help

I have been a closet M to F crossdresser for most my life (only really close female friends know, I am married wife knows, someone supports to a degree, kids, 3 of them have no idea). I get these really strong feminine feelings sometimes they want to totally take over the way I feel. I work in a profession that I can not just do what I feel or want. I wear panties full time. From time to time I wear pantyhose to help supress the feelings but that doesn't help anymore. I feel I am bi sexual and I have thought extensively about Gender reassignment surgery and although breasts would be nice that would be as far as I would go. I have talked to my wife about the feelings and she is unsure what to do to help. I have talked with her about me shaving my body (would really like to) she is apposed to the idea. I would like to find something I can do to help at work and in daily lilfe to help me feel more "fem" without coming out to all and ruining my "life". Can someone please help me.

Hi, again! I see you did find the right place to post. Let's see if anyone has any ideas. Hang on--it might take awhile to get a response.

You will need to find a way to be yourself, and that is being fem as you say. Have you talked to your wife about acting more fem, before you try something else like surgery?
that way she can get more comfortable with it.

Maybe you could find and talk with people who have already made the kinds of changes you are contemplating. Live it vicariously. Find out what it is like to put in breast implants and have sex with men. See of it is what you thought it would be, without having to do it yourself.

A long time ago I read about a woman who wanted to lose weight. She loved deserts. When she saw something that looked good she decided she would have a dream about all the sweet foods she was choosing not to eat. I applied the same idea to drinking. When I gave up alcohol, I had dreams about vodka and whiskey and rum and tequila. Maybe you could dream about things you want to try. Believing you can choose things to dream about is most of the actual technique. You decide what to dream about as you get ready to go to sleep, and then let it go. What you think about in the last five minutes before you drift off has the biggest impact on your dreams.

If you want to get rid of body hair, don't shave it, wax it. Way better results.

Hello Griffey: Okay (I'll bet other PC'ers are getting tired of me writing this.) I'm in my mid 60's & have been MtF transsexual my whole life; or at least farther back than I can remember because my earliest memories involve me already being heavily into it. For a good share of my life, the term transsexual hadn't even been coined. (I have quite a few posts in the Transgender Forum that tell more about me, if you're interested.)

I never transitioned & have led a more-or-less normal male life, including being married. Things I do to help feminize myself include: I do shave my body (& it probably would be better to have it waxed... but I don't have the $$$ or the desire to do that.) I use scented lotions, my hair is fairly long (down to the bottoms of my ears.) I have it cut at a salon. I don't have pierced ears, although I wish I did. I sometimes use clear nail hardener. I buy men's clothing that has as feminine a bent as possible i.e. pastel colors, floral print shirts, etc. I have a small collection of jewelry; mostly pendants, rings, bracelets. & pins. Most of this is either men's jewelry or unisex. That's mostly what I can think of right now.

I'm not on hormones or anything like that & SRS is out of the question for me. I don't use make-up. Most of the women I know who are my age don't use much, if any, either. I try to look at what women my age are doing & do similarly, but without beginning to look overtly trans, if that makes sense. (I wear men's underwear.)

I don't know if any of that's helpful at all. It's pretty basic stuff. Thanks for your post. Feel free to Personal Message me if you want to correspond privately about anything.

Just curious: What exactly are "feminine thoughts"?

Your problem isn't your sex, that's simply biological and not something that says much about us at all. Your problem lies in the gender roles and societal expectations. You shouldn't have to switch sex to be who you are, that a man wanted to wear skirts or whatever shouldn't be frowned upon, because sex should to us be just that - sex, something biological that only means something in terms of reproduction, and not gender. The problem is that gender and sex are often mixed up, to the extent where people claim that this or that is a manly act/emotion or a womanly act/emotion etc. It just limits us all for being who we want to be.

Hello again, Griffey: I wanted to add an additional comment with regard to the idea of shaving your body. I shave my entire body with the exception of the hair on my head (not including my beard, which I of course shave) & my eyebrows. Otherwise, I'm... shall we say... naked! I'll leave it to you to envision what that all entails... I'm fortunate in that I'm not a particularly hairy person anyway, although I certainly have... had... my share. What I wanted to mention was: if you could get your wife to allow you to try it, or if you would decide to just do it, you might give it a try. I have to say that it is a BIG job. I wouldn't have realized how much time I would have to spend on it if I hadn't done it. Since I'm not employed, I have the time available. And, now, it's become almost a compulsion. I couldn't go back I don't believe. But, since you are still employed, if you did it once or twice, you might well decide it wasn't worth all of the time it would take to keep it up. But, at least then, you'd know.

Instead of breast implants have you tried the silicone breastforms on the TG sites?