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Old 01-20-2013, 12:48 AM #21
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Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
Sorry, the phone. So you do not give yourslef to him against your will which is an excellent development but the reason for it had nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with the church's ideology. So the good outcome is purely coincidental. Someone - some church, T, someone needs to focus on YOU and become outraged that for five years you went through an unnecessary self-sacrifice of having intimate relations against your will. Sure women are sometimes tired and may occasionally engage in quick sex just for the sake of the guy while they'd rather be sleeping. You did something else, on a grand scale.
Actually, as a child of God, i realized how much God loves me. He doesn't want me hurting or used or disrespected that's one reason the no sex outside of marriage exists.
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Old 01-20-2013, 01:05 AM #22
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I am not real familar w/ judo- christian. I am of baptist faith. It is strongly encouraged that you do not have premarital sex. But the word we live doesn't make that easy. It is not a desired trait to partake in and pregnancy can be really hard having been taught better in the church. But the lord does forgive. And as christians we should love the sinner and not the sin. Unbelivably we are quite accepting of these kids of accidents.

I was raised in church and still gave into temptation and had premarital sex. The bible teaches all kinds of things that are difficult to do. for example Divorce is not looked down on as a good thing either.

As for the ability to have children, Sara from the bible was close to 90 I believe. She had a baby. Now a days we can't have babies at 90 but we can at 45. So you may well have a good opportunity later on in life to have children. Not all psy meds are forever. If having children once you are married is still a priority going off them for 9 mo sounds tough. But there is a widly misunderstood way that a womans body works. Often while she is pregnent her body no longer requires the meds until after the baby is born and as long as the baby is solely nursing. Immidiately after these things have stopped the need for the meds return and life goes on as it did before w/ the medication.

My sister in law was in a car accident and she suffered brain damage. She took prozac and I'm not real sure what else. She quit taking them as soon as she found out, the baby was fine. She nursed her little one for 4 months and went back on her meds. W/ out them while not pregnant she is very controlling, loud, abusive, angry and compulsive. With them you would never know she had to take them. Because of this accident she will never be able to go off of them except in the case of pregnancy. She has gone on to have another child.

No children is not the most horrible aspect of religion. A woman w/ no children of her own can teach sunday school, she can mentor other kids, she can be youth leader. Sure we are supposed to procreate, and some religions go a little far in procreation. Saying to only have sex w/ having children in mind. There are so many different beliefs.

It is also not uncommon for men to behave erratically when sex is w/held. Some men have a huge sex drive and get testy w/ out sex. But that is no excuse for abuse. If there is abuse involved then it is time to walk away. Giving into sex even though religion says not to, meaning if you have sex w/ this guy then you will be showing him that the church and religion do not mean that much to you. So you will have to choose. God does forgive, God does know we are human w/ human desires. We do slip, we do fail, and God allows mistakes, but he doesn't like habitual sin. And that is wrong to knowing do wrong and continue to do wrong. It is a hard call to make. Sin or sin not.
I meant Judeo-Christian as the umbrella of religions that follow the teachings of the Bible including Jewish and Christian religions. My bfriend and i are just friends now, but i don't spend an time with him really. I'm confident in my church. I'm only sad that somehow i made it sound creepy in this thread. I'm glad i didn't mention the denomination.
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Old 01-20-2013, 02:17 AM #23
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Oh no...please don't misunderstand. Speaking for myself, I'm very happy that you found a religion and a church that makes you happy. That can be a very powerful force in someone's life. I know it is in my own. We only sought to clarify any potential misunderstandings...that's not your fault. We only wanted to clarify. Unfortunately, in my time here, I have seen instances in which the church harms rather than helps, sad as that is. While the things you didn't didn't necessarily denote that was the case, it helps us help you to make sure that is not the case.
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Old 01-22-2013, 08:04 PM #24
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Default Re: Feel ruined

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Actually, as a child of God, i realized how much God loves me. He doesn't want me hurting or used or disrespected that's one reason the no sex outside of marriage exists.
You need to develop skills in partner selection. Some people are born with them and for others they are learnable skills. As a fact, most women who have sex outside of marriage do not hurt, feel used, or feel disrespected, and many of them feel quite wonderful, empowered, and happy, so the issue is not the status of the relationship but the selection of relationship partners. To believe that marriage will be the answer to the problem without working on skills development is magical thinking.

Unless...Imagine that the bf does marry you. Changes his mind and marries you. In church. Would you all of sudden, by miracle, want to have sex with him for your sake, not just his sake? If yes, then for you personally the issue IS the status of the relationship. If not, the issue remains with the partner selection.
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