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Old 01-24-2013, 09:27 PM #1
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Default Sex drives gone...

My husband and I had a great sex life until I got pregnant. I had awful morning sickness until 8 months and never wanted sex. I had an emergency csection. I got an IUd a few months later.. And the dr okayd me for sex again, but I don't know why I just have no interest anymore. This is strange to me because I had issues with hyper sexuality for many many years. Lately I just can't get in the mood and even if I try it hurts way too much. We have sex maybe once a month. We try foreplay, and using lube... But I just don't want it... But I want to want it!

Anyone have any ideas in how to boost my sexdrive?
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Old 01-26-2013, 12:22 AM #2
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Default Re: Sex drives gone...

What is the name of your IUD?
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Old 01-27-2013, 12:17 AM #3
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Default Re: Sex drives gone...

I got paragaurd... So it's non hormone based, but definitely caused much heavier periods.
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Old 01-27-2013, 03:11 PM #4
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Default Re: Sex drives gone...

I want to want it too. I think it mostly is from my meds. What has helped me the most is actually my husband putting lube on himself and I rub a little **** desensitizations cream around my opening and just inside. It's really hard to get past the pain I have from sex, but if you negate the pain, I can at least enjoy bonding with him, even if I get basically no pleasure from the actual sex. I tend to get more of an after high when we take a shower together afterwards (our ritual, since I enjoy the attention afterwards and he enjoys the sex before).
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Old 01-27-2013, 03:13 PM #5
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Default Re: Sex drives gone...

I did not know that it would censor that. Sorry... umm let's try butt cream, meant mostly for homosexual endeavors. You can buy it at Spencer's or probably other adult toy stores.
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Old 01-27-2013, 08:37 PM #6
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Default Re: Sex drives gone...

As far as I know when women have kids their body can pretty much not care about sex any more since as far as it's concerned sex is only for reproduction. Birth control pills and other types of medication are also well known for killing a woman's sex drive. (ironic huh?)

Being tired will also have dramatic effects so I doubt you can just force it at that time.

Talking to your doctor about it is probably a good idea. I am very doubtful that it comes back on it's own and you guys may have to get proactive about it. But it is possible to get it back.
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Old 01-27-2013, 11:08 PM #7
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Default Re: Sex drives gone...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bipolar mom View Post
I got paragaurd... So it's non hormone based, but definitely caused much heavier periods.
exactly. Switch to MIRENA and your periods will be from light to non existent. Plus, a little protection against cancer, of endometri I believe. But the main point, why tolerate heavy periods?
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Old 01-27-2013, 11:18 PM #8
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Default Re: Sex drives gone...

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoCake View Post
As far as I know when women have kids their body can pretty much not care about sex any more since as far as it's concerned sex is only for reproduction. Birth control pills and other types of medication are also well known for killing a woman's sex drive. (ironic huh?)

Being tired will also have dramatic effects so I doubt you can just force it at that time.

Talking to your doctor about it is probably a good idea. I am very doubtful that it comes back on it's own and you guys may have to get proactive about it. But it is possible to get it back.
It varies very very widely and there are absolutely no rules in this domain. I had my third chilc at home with midwives who ok'd intercourse within a few days after a normal vaginal delivery (the usual six week waiting period is, as far as I can see, arbitrary and conservative) and I liked sex a lot. While producing a ton of milk for a huge toddler girl and her baby sister born nine pounds. It is impossible to reproduce while making so much milk but my body liked sex. In fact I believe that one of the countless benefits of midwifery care is early return to sex, because nothing else energizes the new mother better and makes her feel up and about and healthy.

But after cesarean one must wait.
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