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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 09:27 PM
  #41
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Originally Posted by GirlOfManyFaces View Post
I have no idea what you two are talking about, nor do I understand how this pertains to either of my situations. I'm just confused.
You are OK, do not worry about it. You said that you would be disowned if someone in the position of authority found out about your lesbian leanings. Well, it is unfair to fault you, especially to the point of disowning you, for something that is a) harmless and b) outside of your control. That is how it pertained to your OP.
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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 09:47 PM
  #42
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He was not even supposed to tell your mom what it was or was not. He was supposed to protect your rights.
Well he did. And now I've suffered his consequences while he is hitting on my best friends at MY SCHOOL. (I grew up there)

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Originally Posted by NoCake View Post

Whatever the reason it isn't lawful and it's unfair to you. And unfortunately your parents would have to have gotten involved to be able to press charges. This entire situation is not your fault at all.

My parents DID get involved. It that just made it more hell. And it really is my fault. I could have prevent this whole thing and didn't.
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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 09:49 PM
  #43
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And it really is my fault. I could have prevent this whole thing and didn't.
What could have you done to prevent the whole thing save for disappearing from the face of this Earth? He raped you. You did not rape yourself. You did not make him rape you.
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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 09:51 PM
  #44
One of the definitions of rape is "any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person".

You cannot prevent other people from forcing something on you - it is their action that forces you.
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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 10:12 PM
  #45
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I never faulted anyone for being homosexual nor have I labeled it in any way. I simply stated that I disagree with it. I'm not telling anyone what to do.
That gets us back to the trees growing. They do not choose to grow - they just grow. Homosexuals do not choose to be homosexuals - they just are. Homosexuality is a feature that comes with those individuals - it is not an opinion or a position, hence it is impossible to disagree with it. You can disagree with views, opinions, positions, teachings, theories, hypotheses, etc. etc. but not with people's immutable characteristics. It is like my cat Tommy is all black - he is all black. It is a fact of his existence. It is not his view or opinion or choice or statement or manifesto - he just happens to be all black. It is not my view or opinion on him either.

Should black cats be fed as much as Maine Coons? Should homosexuals have equal rights to marriage as heterosexuals? Those are questions that different people would have different answers to and we can agree or disagree till the cows come home, but we cannot disagree with the existence of black cats or homosexuals.
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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 10:17 PM
  #46
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I have no idea what you two are talking about, nor do I understand how this pertains to either of my situations. I'm just confused.
Honey, no offense meant here, but you've got a lot of growing up, experiences, learning, etc. to understand the magnitude of this brewing convo between the two...Which in general is the solution to the original question here. You are young and have so much time ahead of you to learn who you are, what you believe, and so on. Please take care of yourself and for gods sake slow down in life. You are trying to move way too fast.
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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 10:58 PM
  #47
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That gets us back to the trees growing. They do not choose to grow - they just grow. Homosexuals do not choose to be homosexuals - they just are. Homosexuality is a feature that comes with those individuals - it is not an opinion or a position, hence it is impossible to disagree with it. You can disagree with views, opinions, positions, teachings, theories, hypotheses, etc. etc. but not with people's immutable characteristics. It is like my cat Tommy is all black - he is all black. It is a fact of his existence. It is not his view or opinion or choice or statement or manifesto - he just happens to be all black. It is not my view or opinion on him either.

Should black cats be fed as much as Maine Coons? Should homosexuals have equal rights to marriage as heterosexuals? Those are questions that different people would have different answers to and we can agree or disagree till the cows come home, but we cannot disagree with the existence of black cats or homosexuals.
We cannot choose our feelings but we do choose how to act upon them. I have never argued that such feelings don't exist. And I have already argued that we cannot possibly make all of our decisions on feelings alone.

I'm not sure where you're getting this from or why you are taking this opinion so seriously. I have said nothing to offend you or any other homosexual. I have not labeled you or judged you in any shape form or fashion. My religion disagrees with homosexuality. I do not hold ill will towards any. All I ask is that you respect my opinion as I respect yours. I am not here for debate. I am only here to help a friend.

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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 11:02 PM
  #48
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Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
That gets us back to the trees growing. They do not choose to grow - they just grow. Homosexuals do not choose to be homosexuals - they just are. Homosexuality is a feature that comes with those individuals - it is not an opinion or a position, hence it is impossible to disagree with it. You can disagree with views, opinions, positions, teachings, theories, hypotheses, etc. etc. but not with people's immutable characteristics. It is like my cat Tommy is all black - he is all black. It is a fact of his existence. It is not his view or opinion or choice or statement or manifesto - he just happens to be all black. It is not my view or opinion on him either.

Should black cats be fed as much as Maine Coons? Should homosexuals have equal rights to marriage as heterosexuals? Those are questions that different people would have different answers to and we can agree or disagree till the cows come home, but we cannot disagree with the existence of black cats or homosexuals.
Thank you, Hamster-bamster. It's nice to have a "straight" person go to bat for us "homo-sexuals". Nobody talks about the trysexuals though....the ones that try anything? Oh well.
As far as the legal issue that is rolling around here, I am not sure why the person that represented the OP is not termed "lawyer", although I don't know what country the OP lives in. Usually RAPE=RAPE. Maybe because it happened twice ( with the same BF), then the thoughts of pressing charges changed. It's all very confusing .Good luck to the OP. You are young and wonderful and you have plenty of time to figure things out. Breathe. No one is moving to Mars. It's OK.
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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 11:05 PM
  #49
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Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
That gets us back to the trees growing. They do not choose to grow - they just grow. Homosexuals do not choose to be homosexuals - they just are. Homosexuality is a feature that comes with those individuals - it is not an opinion or a position, hence it is impossible to disagree with it. You can disagree with views, opinions, positions, teachings, theories, hypotheses, etc. etc. but not with people's immutable characteristics. It is like my cat Tommy is all black - he is all black. It is a fact of his existence. It is not his view or opinion or choice or statement or manifesto - he just happens to be all black. It is not my view or opinion on him either.

Should black cats be fed as much as Maine Coons? Should homosexuals have equal rights to marriage as heterosexuals? Those are questions that different people would have different answers to and we can agree or disagree till the cows come home, but we cannot disagree with the existence of black cats or homosexuals.
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We cannot choose our feelings but we do choose how to act upon them. I have never argued that such feelings don't exist. And I have already argued that we cannot possibly make all of our decisions on feelings alone.

I'm not sure where you're getting this from or why you are taking this opinion so seriously. I have said nothing to offend you or any other homosexual. I have not labeled you or judged you in any shape form or fashion. My religion disagrees with homosexuality. I do not hold ill will towards any. All I ask is that you respect my opinion as I respect yours. I am not here for debate. I am only here to help a friend.

As much as I love hearing everyone's opinion. I really don't care for arguments. And would very much appreciate it if you would move this conversation to a PM.

I don't mean to be rude. It's just stressing me out more...
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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 11:36 PM
  #50
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Thank you, Hamster-bamster. It's nice to have a "straight" person go to bat for us "homo-sexuals". Nobody talks about the trysexuals though....the ones that try anything? Oh well.
As far as the legal issue that is rolling around here, I am not sure why the person that represented the OP is not termed "lawyer", although I don't know what country the OP lives in. Usually RAPE=RAPE. Maybe because it happened twice ( with the same BF), then the thoughts of pressing charges changed. It's all very confusing .Good luck to the OP. You are young and wonderful and you have plenty of time to figure things out. Breathe. No one is moving to Mars. It's OK.

What does OP stand for?
I'm in the US by the way.

Thank you for caring enough to say anything. It means a lot.
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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 11:40 PM
  #51
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We cannot choose our feelings but we do choose how to act upon them. I have never argued that such feelings don't exist. And I have already argued that we cannot possibly make all of our decisions on feelings alone.

I'm not sure where you're getting this from or why you are taking this opinion so seriously. I have said nothing to offend you or any other homosexual. I have not labeled you or judged you in any shape form or fashion. My religion disagrees with homosexuality. I do not hold ill will towards any. All I ask is that you respect my opinion as I respect yours. I am not here for debate. I am only here to help a friend.
Oh, I am not a homosexual. I am straight, on the extreme pole of straight for that matter.
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Default Feb 12, 2013 at 11:43 PM
  #52
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What does OP stand for?
I'm in the US by the way.

Thank you for caring enough to say anything. It means a lot.
OP is either you, the original poster, or your opening post, as per context.
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Default Feb 13, 2013 at 01:31 AM
  #53
Hi Girl.

Girl, I think it's wonderful that you hold such respect for your faith. I was raised as a Christian, and I attend a historically Baptist college. Though I am straight, and thus don't share your precise dilemma, I do understand the struggle between balancing what you want and what your faith says.

I would echo the advice given earlier about slowing down a hair, and trying not to worry about it so much right now. But barring that, I would tell you to please relax a little. I'm not about to deny that the Bible outright mentions homosexuality as a sin. But even if that is indeed the case, what you have to understand is that all sin is equal in the eyes of God (James 2:10), and that we are all sinners. Homosexuality gets a sort of "special" treatment as some sort of horrendous taboo due to the media coverage of it as a "hot topic." God isn't going to deny you solely on the basis of homosexuality, if that is the case.

lol And I would point out what my Intro to Christianity professor pointed out (himself being an ordained minster and a PhD). Homosexuality is condemned in the same part of the Bible that forbids the cutting of hair, tattoos, and shellfish, among other things. Leviticus was largely written for the Levites (the book name literally means "for the Levites), from which the priest caste of ancient Jewish tradition were drawn.

I personally do not think God is going to condemn you if this is who you feel you are. I don't think homosexuality is necessarily mutually exclusive with a Christian life. I certainly don't believe you should be disowned for that...that is incredibly harsh and bigoted of your parents, if you don't mind me saying so.

Additionally, I am so, so sorry to hear of that JOKE of a "lawyer" of yours! That infuriated me to read...I am a pre-law major with hopes of becoming an attorney. His behavior to you is utterly disgraceful. I am so sorry his incompetence robbed you of the justice you deserve.

Lastly...and I certainly do not mean to throw fuel on the fire, but I don't think this topic is the place for the debate that's popping up. I understand there are mutually conflicting points of advice offered, my own being guilty of that, but if the discourse on the topic is upsetting the OP, I think we owe it to her to agree to disagree, do we not? Again, do not mean to agitate anyone...simply looking out for OP, is all, and trying to keep the peace.

Hugs to all,
Harley

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Default Feb 28, 2013 at 05:33 AM
  #54
Hi Girl of many faces,
Im in the same boat as you and my heart has been broken into a thousand pieces. I know exactly where you're at and what you're feeling...it is incredibly difficult but If you do have a relationship with God bring it to him first...I recommend waiting before you discuss with this woman how you feel about her, tempting as it may seem...please make a right decision with this, your friend seems lovely but in my case I was the object of ridicule, rumors and gossip...Please, guard your heart at the moment...its hard to pull back but try not to get too attached just yet...I am still getting over my heart break for a woman who said she loved me, we both had amazing chemistry but at the end of the day she was in it for her own reasons, and is now with a man..be careful and seek the counsel of the Lord and the bible...there are many ex gay Christians who know how you feel and their feelings have diminished over time with prayer and counselling..please do not mistake this as denying your feelings because they are there and exist..just be wise
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Default Feb 28, 2013 at 09:19 PM
  #55
hi again baby girl,
If you need someone to chat to and discuss stuff please let me know and feel free..

here for you

Your big sister
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Default Mar 03, 2013 at 05:33 PM
  #56
You might be interested in this web site. It discusses whether or not homosexual acts are actually sinful by looking closely at the relevant Bible passages:

http://canyonwalkerconnections.com/about-2/ (about the owner of the website)
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Default Mar 03, 2013 at 08:39 PM
  #57
I really don't see how all the replies of "homosexuality is wrong" are helpful here. To the original poster, if you want to spend your entire life believing that and hating yourself, then go ahead. But for the sake of advice I don't see how that's helpful at all.

Last time I checked, the bible also said a woman can't wear pants (Deuteronomy 22:5) and you also can't talk to a woman on her period (Leviticus 18:19, 20:18, 15:19-30...). Need more examples? I have plenty. But I'm pretty sure everyone has violated those rules. If you're going to follow the bible word for word, then do so and stop picking random verses to live by as an excuse to be hateful towards certain people.
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