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Default Feb 10, 2013 at 11:43 PM
  #1
I have a problem... I'm in love with my best friend. And it's a girl. I've told her before that I love her and she said she loved me too. We both said that if we were gay that we would date each other... But we were kinda teasing them... But I'm serious now.

Today was her birthday and I went out to dinner with her and her family. And I couldn't stop watch ing her laugh and smile.and then on the drive back she started to fall asleep on my shoulder. I had this VERY STRONG URGE to kiss her. but I didn't of course...

I use to go to the same school as her. And we would see each other every hour of every day. And we held hands through the halls (because we are best friends) and she is always there for me and she is beautiful and sweet and funny and I LOVE HER!!!!

But this is against my religious. It says in the Bible that a man is made for a woman, not a woman and a woman... I would be shunned.

I don't know what to do... I don't see her very often anymore but I love her soooooo much. And i just start bawling when someone mentions her name. Tears of joy, because she is such an amazingly perfect person. Ad tears of pain, because I never get to see her....

WHAT CAN I DO?!?!???? My heart is breaking into a billion pieces....
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Default Feb 10, 2013 at 11:55 PM
  #2
There are plenty of Christian denominations that embrace homosexuality which is a normal part of human existence. If you eventually figure that you are lesbian and want to combine it with being Christian, you will have viable options for that. You will eventually live on your own independent of your parents and you will be able to make your own choices.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
There are plenty of Christian denominations that embrace homosexuality which is a normal part of human existence. If you eventually figure that you are lesbian and want to combine it with being Christian, you will have viable options for that. You will eventually live on your own independent of your parents and you will be able to make your own choices.
You don't "combine" things with Christianity. It is solid. I just can't love her because its wrong.... But my heart says so differently. I just want to be a part of her life forever.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 12:13 AM
  #4
Usually, when people come to that point when their heart contradicts the teachings, they start to question the teachings and fare well. People who believe the dogma and question their hearts do not fare so well. Which way you will go is up to you. Also, it should be readily apparent to you that if your parents do not give you unconditional love (if they are ready to disown you, they do not love you unconditionally), then something is very seriously wrong both with your parents and with whatever and whoever inspire them.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 01:16 AM
  #5
Personally I do not agree with homosexuality for those exact religious reasons. And while there are similar denominations that do not have these views they, in my opinion, completely ignore the text in the bible itself and apply meanings that pretty much go against it. I do not believe much in religion switching either. A religion, like any set of laws or rules to live by, is a truth. But to leave this truth for "another" makes me question whether that person wants a set of rules or simply something that caters to them at the moment. Like any set of laws there will be some that you simply don't like. Are all of the other laws simply folly because I disagree with one or another? I can understand leaving because of multiple ideas that you simply do not agree with but I was never a fan of changing for one that did not lead to anything such as the harming of another person.

When matters of the heart are involved I do believe that there is a time when we cannot simply make decisions based on feeling but also on logic. There are plenty of times in life where we simply can't do exactly whatever we want and must do what is necessary whatever that means.

But while I disagree with homosexuality I am in no place to judge the decisions of others. At the end of the day everyone must choose their own path.

So I would tell you to pray on it and see what happens. You know where I stand on this but you have to make your own decisions. Good luck.

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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 01:20 AM
  #6
To me disagreeing with homosexuality is like disagreeing with trees growing on the face of this Earth. They will keep growing no matter the disagreements.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 01:23 AM
  #7
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To me disagreeing with homosexuality is like disagreeing with trees growing on the face of this Earth. They will keep growing no matter the disagreements.
The trees do not choose to grow. But again just because I disagree with your opinion does not mean that I don't respect it.

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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 01:38 AM
  #8
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Personally I do not agree with homosexuality for those exact religious reasons. And while there are similar denominations that do not have these views they, in my opinion, completely ignore the text in the bible itself and apply meanings that pretty much go against it. I do not believe much in religion switching either. A religion, like any set of laws or rules to live by, is a truth. But to leave this truth for "another" makes me question whether that person wants a set of rules or simply something that caters to them at the moment. Like any set of laws there will be some that you simply don't like. Are all of the other laws simply folly because I disagree with one or another? I can understand leaving because of multiple ideas that you simply do not agree with but I was never a fan of changing for one that did not lead to anything such as the harming of another person.

When matters of the heart are involved I do believe that there is a time when we cannot simply make decisions based on feeling but also on logic. There are plenty of times in life where we simply can't do exactly whatever we want and must do what is necessary whatever that means.

But while I disagree with homosexuality I am in no place to judge the decisions of others. At the end of the day everyone must choose their own path.

So I would tell you to pray on it and see what happens. You know where I stand on this but you have to make your own decisions. Good luck.

Thank you for sharing your views. I believe that homosexuality is wrong and a sin, but I do not judge those who have chosen to go down that path. I am not God. So I will not judge. But I do not encourage this path.

I didn't understand until now. You can fall in love with anyone. Any race, any size, any religion, and any gender. It doesn't matter who, you just love them. But you can chose to act upon it or not.

I don't know what to chose. Should I tell her? Or forget about it?

I know we would never have a future together because two women aren't meant to be together. But is it worth it to confess to her and see what happens?
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 01:44 AM
  #9
I try to remember that neither my perceptions nor my imagination define the truth. It is not my place to judge and I certainly respect opinions that do not agree with mine. Feelings and even attractions to other people are not all that uncommon. Yet I try not to let my feelings define my reality if I can help it. For the Christian, our relationship with God and the teachings of the scriptures are our best source of wisdom and truth, rather than the prevailing attitudes or beliefs of contemporary culture. Given that you believe in and trust God, I would let His word be your guide
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 01:51 AM
  #10
Seems like you want to tell. The rest of the words and opinions of this thread don't seem very relevant to what you originally posted. Only you can decide.

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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 01:56 AM
  #11
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Originally Posted by GirlOfManyFaces View Post
Thank you for sharing your views. I believe that homosexuality is wrong and a sin, but I do not judge those who have chosen to go down that path. I am not God. So I will not judge. But I do not encourage this path.

I didn't understand until now. You can fall in love with anyone. Any race, any size, any religion, and any gender. It doesn't matter who, you just love them. But you can chose to act upon it or not.

I don't know what to chose. Should I tell her? Or forget about it?

I know we would never have a future together because two women aren't meant to be together. But is it worth it to confess to her and see what happens?
Well you would have to think about what you would achieve by telling her that. If your feelings were reciprocated would it change the situation for you?

If you have chosen not to go along with it I wouldn't say anything. That would make things harder than they already are. If I met a girl that had different views than I then yeah it would be freakin hard to not to go after her. But I know that I couldn't go through with it. I would keep her as a friend but I wouldn't go any further than that. I can also understand that you might just want to put it out there and get it off of your chest. That's a hard thing to but I wouldn't do it.

If you have chosen to go with it then telling her would be what I expect.

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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 04:17 AM
  #12
I apologise if this comes across as insulting to people, it's going to touch on religion and it's not my intention to insult anyone's beliefs.

<puts on flame retardant suit>
Girl,
I have a god-daughter who is 15 and I have lived with her mum and her since she was born, so she's like a daughter to me. A couple of months ago she came home and told her mum she thought she was gay because she was attracted to a girl at her youth club. At first, her mum was shocked and somewhat disappointed because she wants grand-kids. After thinking about it for a while though she/we realised two things:

1. This may be a phase she's going through. She is young, hormones are flying through her body (Don't we know it!) and she's learning about herself and who she is. Her attraction to her friend may go somewhere or it may not. Whatever happens, it's her journey and as the significant adults in her life, it's our job to support her when she needs it and give her the space, freedom and guidance to become a good adult.

2. So what if she's gay? It is important in this life to feel secure, be free from harm, to feel a sense of belonging and to be loved (look at Maslow's Triangle of Needs). If my god-daughter finds these things with a woman, then I will not care a jot that it's a woman. I would rather she was with a woman who satisfied those needs than a man who doesn't or worse, one that traps her and takes those needs away.

I was brought up a Catholic, we went to church every Sunday, confession once a month, etc. The bible teaches forgiveness, understanding, honesty, so why did my father frequently beat me for perceived naughtyness? It didn't make sense and is very hypocritical. I didn't understand, and still don't, why religion could preach forgiveness on one hand yet preach hatred against others with different beliefs with the other.

One day when I was 18/19 I had an epiphany brought on by a completely non-religious film - 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure'. In that film, they have a motto "Be excellent to one another". To me, that is 90% of what the bible is trying to say. The 10 commandments can be summarised with that motto. Most of Jesus's teachings can be summarised with that motto. For example, the feeding of the 5000 is Jesus living that motto. I know this seems that I'm trivialising the bible, but I'm really not.

From that moment, I have tried to live my life to that motto. I try not to judge, I try to forgive, I try not to anger. I try to live my life in a way that supports those around me without hurting anyone.

How does this relate to you?
Well I could split hairs and say that Leviticus 18:22 talks about male homosexuality being a sin and not female. I could also point out that Leviticus also promotes slavery, a practice that is now outlawed in most countries in the world. But I don't want to get into a theological debate.

I will simply say, please don't beat yourself up over this. You are young and you are learning about yourself. After everything you've been through, it's no wonder you are seeing attraction in women. Maybe it's a phase and maybe it isn't. Whatever it is, be true to yourself and don't force yourself into one way of life that will make you unhappy.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 03:18 PM
  #13
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The trees do not choose to grow. But again just because I disagree with your opinion does not mean that I don't respect it.
Girl of many faces does not choose to feel love for her female best friend. I have never felt what she feels and I recognize the experience she reports as something I will never go through. I have lovely girlfriends who are important to me but I have never felt love for them the way GOMF does. This is because I am strictly straight and have been so since age 7 according to my recollections and since age 3 according to my mother's recollections. I have not chosen to be straight, just as trees do not choose to grow and just as GOMF does not choose to feel love for her female friend. Exactly as trees's growing.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 04:37 PM
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Originally Posted by astenon View Post
I apologise if this comes across as insulting to people, it's going to touch on religion and it's not my intention to insult anyone's beliefs.

<puts on flame retardant suit>
Girl,
I have a god-daughter who is 15 and I have lived with her mum and her since she was born, so she's like a daughter to me. A couple of months ago she came home and told her mum she thought she was gay because she was attracted to a girl at her youth club. At first, her mum was shocked and somewhat disappointed because she wants grand-kids. After thinking about it for a while though she/we realised two things:

1. This may be a phase she's going through. She is young, hormones are flying through her body (Don't we know it!) and she's learning about herself and who she is. Her attraction to her friend may go somewhere or it may not. Whatever happens, it's her journey and as the significant adults in her life, it's our job to support her when she needs it and give her the space, freedom and guidance to become a good adult.

2. So what if she's gay? It is important in this life to feel secure, be free from harm, to feel a sense of belonging and to be loved (look at Maslow's Triangle of Needs). If my god-daughter finds these things with a woman, then I will not care a jot that it's a woman. I would rather she was with a woman who satisfied those needs than a man who doesn't or worse, one that traps her and takes those needs away.

I was brought up a Catholic, we went to church every Sunday, confession once a month, etc. The bible teaches forgiveness, understanding, honesty, so why did my father frequently beat me for perceived naughtyness? It didn't make sense and is very hypocritical. I didn't understand, and still don't, why religion could preach forgiveness on one hand yet preach hatred against others with different beliefs with the other.

One day when I was 18/19 I had an epiphany brought on by a completely non-religious film - 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure'. In that film, they have a motto "Be excellent to one another". To me, that is 90% of what the bible is trying to say. The 10 commandments can be summarised with that motto. Most of Jesus's teachings can be summarised with that motto. For example, the feeding of the 5000 is Jesus living that motto. I know this seems that I'm trivialising the bible, but I'm really not.

From that moment, I have tried to live my life to that motto. I try not to judge, I try to forgive, I try not to anger. I try to live my life in a way that supports those around me without hurting anyone.

How does this relate to you?
Well I could split hairs and say that Leviticus 18:22 talks about male homosexuality being a sin and not female. I could also point out that Leviticus also promotes slavery, a practice that is now outlawed in most countries in the world. But I don't want to get into a theological debate.

I will simply say, please don't beat yourself up over this. You are young and you are learning about yourself. After everything you've been through, it's no wonder you are seeing attraction in women. Maybe it's a phase and maybe it isn't. Whatever it is, be true to yourself and don't force yourself into one way of life that will make you unhappy.

Thank you sooooo much! I really needed to hear that.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 05:42 PM
  #15
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At first, her mum was shocked and somewhat disappointed because she wants grand-kids.
It is not just that, about the grandchildren. I am glad that my son is straight even though I have no issues with homosexuality and support equal rights for homosexuals and all the rest of that, but I know that this society is more convenient for heterosexuals so I am glad that he will have fewer difficulties when he goes through life.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 06:13 PM
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It is not just that, about the grandchildren. I am glad that my son is straight even though I have no issues with homosexuality and support equal rights for homosexuals and all the rest of that, but I know that this society is more convenient for heterosexuals so I am glad that he will have fewer difficulties when he goes through life.

well I know I'm bi. But I just want to be happy for once.. Ya know? I know it would be harder later in life if I'm with a girl. But if she makes me happy. Isn't that a good thing?
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 06:15 PM
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well I know I'm bi. But I just want to be happy for once.. Ya know? I know it would be harder later in life if I'm with a girl. But if she makes me happy. Isn't that a good thing?
It is a good thing. Whatever makes you happy and does not hurt others is a terrific thing. No doubt about that.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 06:35 PM
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well I know I'm bi. But I just want to be happy for once.. Ya know? I know it would be harder later in life if I'm with a girl. But if she makes me happy. Isn't that a good thing?
My wife is bisexual. She had a girlfriend in college, and now she is married to me. I think it is just about finding someone that makes you happy. Relationship don't come with a lifelong contract. If you find someone that makes you happy and you make them happy then I say that is what matters. Enjoy what moments we get to feel good about and accept the people that care about us.

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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 06:43 PM
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My wife is bisexual. She had a girlfriend in college, and now she is married to me. I think it is just about finding someone that makes you happy. Relationship don't come with a lifelong contract. If you find someone that makes you happy and you make them happy then I say that is what matters. Enjoy what moments we get to feel good about and accept the people that care about us.

Really?! Wow. Thank you for sharing. It was very helpful!
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 08:51 PM
  #20
You will have more than enough time to sort this out.
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